Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The word "How?" springs to mind at this point.

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Induced Pirate Dreams

  [vote for,

To deliberately cause yourself to have pirate-themed dreams, all you have to do is place a wooden board atop a waterbed (you may have to install a wave generator inside the waterbed if you're a still sleeper) and sleep on it while burning algae logs (shamelessly ripped from another idea) in the fireplace. Set a high-powered fan blowing on you with a very light spritz of water that is squirted into it every few minutes by an electric pump set on a timer. Couple with a CD player playing recordings of gently rolling thunder and sea shanties, and this should fool all 5 senses (I substituted my sense of balance for my sense of sight) into thinking you're on a ship at sea. Also great for your back!
21 Quest, Mar 10 2009

Algae Firelogs http://www.halfbake...ea/Algae_20Firelogs
[21 Quest, Mar 10 2009]

The One True GOD http://www.wikiality.com/Pastafarian
A made up religion, never! [eight_nine_tortoise, Mar 11 2009]

Pirate Dreams Online http://piratedreamsonline.blogspot.com/
[21 Quest, Mar 12 2009]

play this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tropico_2
one of the better pirate sims [jaksplat, Mar 13 2009]

Smooth sailing or Rough Seas http://www.halfbake...ty_20Water_20Bed_2e
re-titled [knowtion, Mar 15 2009]


       ah, but one's only seagoing experience might merely be the Isle of Wight ferry!
po, Mar 11 2009

       Add the smell of freshly returned food and you have the Isle of Man ferry.
eight_nine_tortoise, Mar 11 2009

       I go where the in-crowd goes - oh sorry, wrong kind of Ferry.

       I'd love a waterbed though one day - I house sat for someone years ago who had a waterbed, and it was the most comfortable thing ever.

       I'd rather have a recording of gentle seagull calls, muted sea-shanties and the occasional whispered "yo-ho-ho", than the sounds of a sqall - which might keep me up.
zen_tom, Mar 11 2009

       Reading "Treasure Island" might help - especially the first few chapters.
neelandan, Mar 11 2009

       Who would of thought that when we were young and innocent bakers making up pirate ideas that it would become so timely and relevant in the year 2009?

       REAL F*****G PIRATES.
blissmiss, Mar 11 2009

       Does dreaming about Pirates help with global warming [link]. One for the theologians to ponder.
eight_nine_tortoise, Mar 11 2009

       //To deliberately cause yourself to have pirate-themed dreams//... get off your face on khat, grab an RPG and an AK-47 and sit in the back of a speedboat.
For added realism, get your mates to chuck petrol bombs at you and spray you with hosepipes.
coprocephalous, Mar 11 2009

       shouldn't there be a parrot somewhere in this dream?
xandram, Mar 11 2009

       I added the sea shanties, Z_T, that's an excellent addition. Thanks. As far as parrots go, xandra, I wasn't sure how to do that one. What do you think, another recording?
21 Quest, Mar 11 2009

       The world needs this . I like this one very much.

       A few questions Could you experience having a wooden leg or a relationship with a talking parrot.

       Would you be able to pre-set the level of adventure.
vfrackis, Mar 11 2009

       Preset the level of the dream...? Probably. I would think by using boards of different hardness, adjusting the fan power, volume of the speakers, wave-generator power, and amount of fanspray you could alter the intensity of the dream.
21 Quest, Mar 11 2009

       I'm not sure. I've always had a varied and intense dream life - I've had to decline some blood pressure medications because I couldn't deal with the nightmares induced.
normzone, Mar 11 2009

       Then this would be perfect for you! Rather than face the uncertainty of possibly having horrible, unpredictable nightmares and weird, unexplainable dreams, use my method and, be it dream or be it nightmare, you'll always sleep in Pirate Land!
21 Quest, Mar 11 2009

       If we were to alter the level of the dream adventure by adjusting the viscosity of the waterbed (thanks for fixing the link, knowtion) using harvested seaweed extracts we should be able to dream of - are you ready for it? - Pirates of the Carrageenan.
Canuck, Mar 12 2009

       *cocks arm back with rotten tomato in hand*
21 Quest, Mar 12 2009

       do you have more of those ?
FlyingToaster, Mar 12 2009

       * leaves for a moment* .






       *comes back with wheel-barrow full of rotten fruit*
21 Quest, Mar 12 2009

       //*comes back with wheel-barrow full of rotten fruit* — 21 Quest, Mar 12 2009//

       ..but not from iran.
k_sra, Mar 12 2009

21 Quest, Mar 12 2009

       Confession time! I actually have a mood tape of an old, wooden sailing vessel. I also have a ceiling fan above my bed. These have never led to me having dreams about pirates though, even when Treasure Island was my bedtime reading last summer. Perhaps it's the water bed that's the missing element?
DrBob, Mar 13 2009

       One time I drank too much cough syrup and got very dizzy so I laid down. I proceeded to have a dream type experience where my bedsheet was the flag on a ship I was desperately clinging to. The ship was one amongst dozens that were pieces playing a massive chess game at sea. Pirates were screaming out which moves to make, and I could hear explosions in the far reaches. I believe our ship was the bishop. it's not a bad bakery idea, either, pirate ship chess.
daseva, Mar 13 2009

       //Who knew you could get high on cough syrup? //

       Every teenager who's ever been caught shoplifting the stuff. I used to catch prostitutes and homeless people stealing it all the time, too. That's why there's a law that limits the amount you can buy in one purchase. I think the limit's 2.
21 Quest, Mar 13 2009

       I decided on a stuffed parrot only, otherwise one would not get any sleep!
xandram, Mar 13 2009

       // Also great for your back!// If you could market keel hauling as an exfoliator.

       //Who knew you could get high on cough syrup? // Just about everybody. Cough syrups, and diet tablets, usually contain ephadrine (or codeine), err speed, the base of many uppers. No doubt dreams of pirates will follow. Distilling ephadrine, psuedo-ephadrines and codeine is not exactly rocket surgery.
4whom, Mar 13 2009

       That link for the game, Tropico 2, looks pretty fun! I'll have to check it out.
21 Quest, Mar 14 2009


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