Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Drunk Crèche

For Happy Playful Drunkards.
  (+16, -2)(+16, -2)
(+16, -2)
  [vote for,

It's a well known fact that drunk people feel very suppressed, which is why they decide to go on crazy crime sprees and steal useless objects such as traffic cones and stop signs. What they need is a way to expend all this extra energy.

A drunk creche could be an area of a bar set aside in a similar way to a fast food restaurant's kids play area. It needn't be free either, as someone drunk enough to want to use this would probably be willing to pay extortionate prices. Alternatively it could be a separate business in itself.

A brightly coloured wonderland to the inebriated eye. In many ways, this would be similar to a child's play park, but there are several noticeable differences. Every wall/corner would have a sick bucket in it, for the inevitable vomiting. Many urinals (as well as toilets for the more phallically challenged users) would be dotted around the place. Of course, the floors would all be very soft to cushion the frequent falling.

There would be a bouncy castle area, conveniently with the highest density of sick buckets nearby and several TV screens showing such colourful yet thought-provoking fare as the Tellitubbies or Barney the Dinosaur. There would also be an entire area filled with traffic cones so that the drunk users don't get cold heads.

hidden truths, Oct 18 2005

The Word http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Word
"Oh it doesn't get much better than this, cos this is how we live our Glory Days" [calum, Oct 19 2005]


       Sounds like my local Wetherspoons.
skinflaps, Oct 18 2005

       I think it was Dylan Moran who observed that children are basically midget drunks, but the reverse doesn't quite apply. I'd enjoy the bouncy castle and the bright lights but I'd want to watch something slightly more challenging than Tellytubbies and Barney (but only slightly). A 1:2:3 mix of South Park, Simpsons and Pimp my Ride with the odd action film thrown in would do for me. [+]
DocBrown, Oct 18 2005

       Bouncy castle, sick bucket, door, or in some cases window(in that order please)
skinflaps, Oct 18 2005

       Brightly coloured, bouncy castle, lots of toilets and Barney the Dinosaur. Can't think of anywhere less appealing.
wagster, Oct 18 2005

       Well bouncy castle, window would have some unfortunate connotations [skinflaps].   

       Agreed [DocB], I only suggested Barney and co. because I've noticed that myself and others have an unnerving ability to end up watching cartoons and other kids shows whilst drunk.   

       You're only saying that because you're sober [wags].
hidden truths, Oct 18 2005

       sounds just like my home town - just toss in few baseball bats and a kneecapping squad to supervise the more unruly elements +
xenzag, Oct 18 2005

       Suggested TV shows: re-runs of "The Word."
calum, Oct 19 2005

       Can I have the concession for selling chocolate ice cream and chips? Near the sick buckets.
Please tell me it's not just me...
plainvanilla, Oct 20 2005

       What with being [plainvanilla] and all, I'm not sure why you're selling chocolate ice cream.
hidden truths, Oct 20 2005

       baked. You're talking about Glastonbury.
bumhat, Jun 22 2007

conskeptical, Jun 24 2007

       you mean a strip club isn't good enough?
abhorsen1983, Jun 25 2007


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