Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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alcohol profile number

Enter bar, ask for wanted profile, log credit card, get served throughout the night.
  [vote for,

We are all very different. I suspect this is the same for alcohol and the social ways that it is used in.

I propose that a person could undergo a raft of tests to find all the variables that effect their personal alcohol consumption, ah er buzz. These factors could then be used to generate optimum alcohol consumption profiles. An individual access number is generated to a the set of internet accessible profiles.

So whether a night out on the tiles or a few quiets with friends, the chosen profile off your number will be optimized for the best concentration for time period and then recovery. Knowing when to start hydrating is very important.

This of course would have to be a computational exercise on the hard statistics of testing. Any modern computing device should have the power to compute the tables and formulae throughout the night at the specific time and ingested blood alcohol level.

The cost is going to be a little higher as bar staff boost or dilute drinks to the necessary concentrations. Then again, you are not spend money on alcohol that ends up just going through the kidneys or worst, avoiding the gastrointestinal tract and ending up on the ground.

Remember, if bar hopping, take your profile's magic number ( current state ID) with you to the next event. Although it is better to communicate to staff at the start of the night and they can foward your state on.

Oh, and please update regularly, age does matter.

wjt, Feb 07 2021


       I'll have my Scientifically Optimised Profile, please, and a double vodka chaser.
pocmloc, Feb 07 2021

       But yesterdays testing has come back and the new profile says 1.5 shots, with a chaser chaser in 1 hour. If you want to maximize the advanced scientific neuronal activity.
wjt, Feb 07 2021

       Whatever. Double it.
pocmloc, Feb 07 2021

       "Morning, Ted. Starting rather early?"
"Hullo Bob, everything's fucked. Hook me to 12."
"An all-day bender, is it? Very well."
whatrock, Feb 07 2021

       // We are all very different.   

       I'm not.
tatterdemalion, Feb 07 2021

       Bars might like this. "Sir, it's time for your 10:15 shot."
doctorremulac3, Feb 11 2021

       Feck off I'm not toing... doing... what you say. I'm... I'm going shober. Straight. I mean. I'm I'm... I'm -temperance- thatss what I am. SO feck off I'm not taking your filth.
pocmloc, Feb 11 2021

       My profile is horizontal.
AusCan531, Feb 12 2021

       Before or after adequate consumption?
whatrock, Feb 12 2021

       Gimmie a milk. Chocolate. Make it extra-dark.
RayfordSteele, Feb 12 2021


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