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After a recent 'sex scandal' of peculiarly un-epic proportions at Soho House, the English Football association handled the media so badly that it ended up shooting itself squarely in the metatarsal.
Afterwards, England football coach Sven Goran Ericsson complained that the tenacious UK press were
turning his private life into a soap opera.
I suspect that if the FA's press team did turn Sven's life into a TV soap opera, and broadcast it, the desired effect of cooling the public's interest in his private life might be achieved fairly quickly.
Episodes might include 30 minutes of Sven pining for Nancy while flicking through the Ikea catalogue, an extended conversation with David Beckham about Victoria's latest diet, or half an hour of Sven scrawling tactics on the back of a fag packet.
Each episode should be set in his rather bland house, which would have a librarian atmosphere, with an oppressive ticking clock disturbing the otherwise still air.
I doubt it would make it past episode two.
Sven and Nancy
As played by Alistair Mcgowan and Ronnie Ancona [goff, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
cannot get this song out of my head now.
from the archives of Capital - sorry, FR. btw when I had to get my car radio unlocked - this tape was stuck in it. how embarrassing. [po, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
||I'd watch it if Beckham was in it. tee hee
||Tord Grip must have a part in this
||It already exists. Have you never seen Sven and Nancy in Alistair McGowan's Big Impression?
This is even better, as in this series of sketches, Nancy turns out to be the football brain, while Sven struggles to follow her orders when picking the team. V Funny.
||makes 'see you for one in the old Vic' a completely different sentence.
||In South East Asia, they have soap operas, too. I call them Far EastEnders.