Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Still more entertaining than cricket.

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Edit your annotations so that the subsequent annotation make a coherent story

  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
  [vote for,

Now the description is meaningless since the annotations explain everything. Here are some tips/rules:

- Try to make a coherent story using characters and themes introduced by your predecessors
- Re-read from the beginning each time. It's very likely (encouraged) that someone prior to you edited their annotation that will affect yours. I've been guilty of this myself - not reading carefully. So keep in sync as much as you can.
- Don't delete your annotation even if you are out of ideas, you'll lose your "leverage point" to influence the story in the future. You'll regret it later (I did)
- The titles below are more of a summary of what has been happening .. not a direction I'm suggesting you take the story, actually quite the opposite: major shakeups are encouraged. Especially if you edit an annotation that's in the middle and the story still holds together.
- Don't feel a pressure to retroactively sync your annotations to keep up with the latest changes. If you have an idea, do it, but if not just leave it, there is no harm done. Others will figure out how to fit your stuff in - even if they have to think really really hard. Just make sure that at the time you first post, it makes sense.

Currently .. as of Sep 23 - the annotations on the right tell an exciting story titled:

"The Death List"
previously: "The Mystery of the Doorbell Salesman"
previously: "The Great List Conspiracy"
previously: "The execution of ixnaum"
previously: "Execution of frankenstein"
previously: "The execution of little red riding hood"
previously: "little red riding hood tries her luck at innovative collaborative annotations"

ixnaum, Sep 22 2010

Inspired by: Edit_20your_20last_...20look_20rediculous
[ixnaum, Sep 22 2010]

archive of old !York MC story jigsaw game http://www.dunx.org...up=&before=334&end=
in this example, the annotations were submitted in random order. [prufrax, Sep 23 2010]

Collaborative Poetry Collaborative_20Poetry
[Jinbish, Sep 23 2010]

Definition of [ coherent ] http://www.merriam-...dictionary/coherent
" I do not think that word means what you think it means..." [normzone, Feb 17 2015]

" The Eventide has a real sparkle "... http://www.soundons...=463100&Main=448545
[normzone, Feb 19 2015]

The nearest airport to Santa's workshop... http://www.airliner.../read.main/1275812/
[normzone, Mar 09 2016]

Familiar territory from 2002 The_20Susen_20Saga
[normzone, Nov 08 2017]


       There were evil people in the world. People that needed to be purged. The doorbell salesman and ixnaum began
ixnaum, Sep 22 2010

       to make a list and got [m-f-d]ed
xandram, Sep 22 2010

       themselves before completing it. M-F-D stood for marked for death. It was the terminology used by the evil tyrant ruler for killing all those who broke her rules. Rarely it was reffered to as "marked for deletion" by few people using a translation that is ancient, obsolete and now mostly considered incorrect. Ixnaum was apprehended while purchasing more paper for the list. But the doorbell salesman was still on the loose aided by his friends: Mama bear, Santa, Elf, Goldilocks and Blitzen
Later that afternoon the executioner approached Ixnaum with a large thunderbolt staff in hand. When suddenly two voices came out from the crowd. The the first shout was nonsense; an almost unintelligible scream of someone who appears to be local crazyman ... but legend says that if you decipher his words, you will unlock the wisdom of an ancient prophecy. He shouted:
ixnaum, Sep 22 2010

       Oh god. What have I done? Sorry, Jutta.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 22 2010

       for I am the creator of this monster, Cried MaxwellBuchanan as the thunderbolt was raised ready to strike.

See ... he did it! It was his fault! He confessed to it!
ixnaum, Sep 22 2010

       Said [ixnaum], seeking to divert [jutta]'s Olympian thunderbolt towards [MaxwellBuchannan]. Needlessly, since it's a good idea -- stands on its own, interesting to think about and perhaps to discuss. It shouldn't be deleted because of what people do in the anno thread.   

       Undeterred by [mouseposture]'s conciliatory annotation, [ixnaum] realized that "people" is about 50% [ixnaum], and attempted to throw [MaxwellBuchannan] under the bus.
mouseposture, Sep 23 2010

       It was the 3 o'clock bus. Right on time. With a quick leap, ixnaum escaped his bonds grabbed MaxwellBuchanan and held him down as the bus approached. "You will pay for this!"   

       Unfortunately the bus stop was 50 meters ahead of the scuffle. That's where the bus came to a gentle stop and passengers got out. One of them was a tall mysterious man. He attracted Jutta's gaze - she recognized him immediately.
ixnaum, Sep 23 2010

       (finger on a button - channel changes. Lecturer intones:)   

       The tall mysterious man was trouble. Stigmergic trouble, which can be defined as follows:   

       A mechanism of indirect coordination between agents or actions. The principle is that the trace left in the environment by an action stimulates the performance of a next action, by the same or a different agent.
normzone, Sep 23 2010

       who said "Look, when you press this button, a voice says [marked-for-deletion] call for list!".
hippo, Sep 23 2010

       On the table in the kitchen, the untouched bowl of salty porridge began to look rather cold & unappetising.
DrBob, Sep 23 2010

       Whilst Mama Bear embroidered on the new napkins the letters m-f-d...
xandram, Sep 23 2010

       Which part of "The [marked-for-deletion] rules are relaxed below Halfbakery:" did you guys not understand?" she snarled, snatching the embroidered napkin and waving it for a moment like a torero's muleta, then tossing it behind the couch where it--   

       [But seriously, I don't think the site software does well on long games - but inventing something and illustrating it below Halfbakery: Game should be expected & tolerable. No?]
jutta, Sep 23 2010

       ...lay until the cleaning crew came by the following week. An enthusiastic new hire on his hands and knees, his buns in the air, fished it out and stuck it in his pocket.   

       That night, while cleaning out his pockets, he pondered the cryptic script. A couple of synapses fired and he began sketching.   

       That night, Monogram Future Designs was born. The company went through the two-men-in-a-garage stage, caught the eye of an investor, prospered and eventually went public.   

       But the man who started it all was cut out of the deal during the company's ascent to the top of the cutthroat monogram business, and one night in a rage of custard and scotch he torched the premises.   

       Of course he was caught, tried on a charge of arson, and convicted. An eclectic judge fond of alternative sentences ordered that his brain be amended, such that for the rest of his life he would live outside the seemingly orderly story that makes up the lives of many, but not all of us.   

       His mind was modified such that interludes of confusion periodically took hold of him, especially any time he became excited. The intention was to prevent him from planning and executing other criminal acts. He would hear voices crying " List !" and " M ! F ! D ! " and other confusions.   

       He could still remember the night of the fire - it raged all night despite the efforts of 3 fire companies. In the morning, the plant lay in ruins...
normzone, Sep 23 2010

       The End.
xandram, Sep 23 2010

       "Didn't think much of that," said Blitzen as he wandered off to find more beer...
DrBob, Sep 23 2010

       The End.
The End.
These words echoed through the house. But their source was impossible to pin down. As if a ghost had whispered them. It wasn't the first time this has happened. Santa and Mama bear have been hearing these voices for the last 2 weeks. Perhaps it had something to do with that ancient prophecy.
Blitzen didn't believe in ghosts. He was a simple minded creature - hired solely for his killing abilities - he picked up a can of beer and opened it with his hoof. He then turned on his TV set and immersed himself in the intro to his favorite TV program ....
ixnaum, Sep 23 2010

       ..or not. Meanwhile, Maxwell Buchanan scanned the previous annotations. "//marked-for-deletion] rules are relaxed below Halfbakery:// !" he muttered to himself. "Egads!" he continued, "this means I can post my 'let's all make lists of ideas for genetically modified flavours like I saw in that movie' idea, after all!!!"   

       He paused, undecided as to whether there should be a period after his final close-quotes, or whether the exclamation mark inside the quotes counted. "To heck with it!", he euphemized, and withdrew another cheroot from the bell-jar on the harpsichord.   

       He was barely halfway through lighting it when, improbably...
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 23 2010

       he realized that he did not smoke.   

       Elsewhere, Goldilocks put down the power saw and removed her safety goggles and hearing protection. The saw cut VERY well, so one had to stay focused, and the damn thing was so loud you had to wear headphones.   

       She brushed sawdust from her blouse and put the piece on the stack of other pieces she'd already cut. Some glue, clamps, dowels, rope, staples, nails and prayer and her unshreddable wooden door would be finished.   

       She flinched when she heard the saw motor start up, louder now without the hearing protection. The power cord was very long, and her path was blocked by piles of cut wood (cut to commercial)
normzone, Sep 24 2010

       "What are the odds of that?" he rhetoricated.
mouseposture, Sep 24 2010

       Events such as this only served to distract from his work on the door shredding machine. Insufficient operator safeguards occasionally let bystanders become involved in the process.   

       He spun the dial unlocking the vault housing the door shredding machine, prepared for another frustrating session
normzone, Sep 24 2010

       When he realized there was no need. His partner was faster on the draw and shredded the door before MaxwelBuchanan had a chance to do the job himself. MaxwellBuchanan holstered his weapon and tipped his hat to his gun slinging partner.
An nervous answer came from behind a tiny corner of the shredded door still intact: "It's me. The doorbell salesman."
ixnaum, Sep 24 2010

       The doorbell salesman winked frantically, whispering "Your friend with the weapon? Derringerrailgun or whatever it is? Please call him off.   

       I had to get off the 3 o'clock bus - there were two men scuffling in the street 54.68 yards ahead in it's path. I saw the door labeled INSUFFICIENT OPERATOR SAFEGUARD - VAULT and just walked in.   

       I desperately need the loan of your limo driver - I have a date with [Jutta]".   

       "Oh, and how did you resolve your constipation? "
normzone, Sep 24 2010

       "but figs are my favorite fruit!" she cried, as she waited patiently for the man of her dreams...
xandram, Sep 24 2010

       who was unavailable at that moment as he was on set, filming an encore series of Magnum P.I. in Hawai'i after having managed to get the original cast back together...
infidel, Sep 24 2010

       Who? Yes, Mr. Who Smith.
On the other hand the man of her dream was more than available.
ixnaum, Sep 24 2010

       The teapot, on the other hand, was banking on its all new Holographic Physical Displacement Illusion Software & Pre-emptive Locality Adjustment Controlled Experiment (HoPDISPLACE) to avoid the hedgehog's dastardly plan.
infidel, Sep 24 2010


       Agent code names [TEAPOT] and [HEDGEHOG] have demonstrated instabilities, and are to be viewed as compromised. No further communications are authorized, and termination with extreme prejudice is recommended.   


       Not being one to waste time, long ago [jutta] had given up waiting for her date to show up. She had no way of knowing that he'd
normzone, Feb 05 2015

       fallen into time-travel paradox do-loop thingy, where there were evil people in the world. People that needed to be purged. The do-loop made certain they were. The doorbell salesman and ixnaum began
RayfordSteele, Feb 05 2015

       looking at the anti - calendar for clues.   

       " ANTI - JAN, ANTI - FEB, ANTI - MAR, ANTI - APR - no, nothing yet. What about ANTI - MAY, ANTI - JUN, ANTI - JUL, ANTI - AUG -   

       Aha! There it is! ANTI - SEPT "
normzone, Feb 05 2015

       ..ic tank engineer Bob Floater looked up from his coffee as the leggy brunette made her entrance
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 05 2015

       ing sashay into the room. She looked too good to be true with her soft smouldering eyes, and a wiggle exquisite enough to make the cream jump out of the coffee cup.
FlyingToaster, Feb 05 2015

       Andrea didn't even register Bob's presence. Her mind was too involved with the problem of posting a Halfbakery idea where the annos had witty and incisive replies while having a concurrent running story thread.
wjt, Feb 05 2015

       The end
popbottle, Feb 06 2015

       oscope held firmly in his hand, he thrust it appreh
hippo, Feb 06 2015

       ...htty long way into the
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 06 2015

MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 06 2015

       thoughts of your bro
xandram, Feb 06 2015

       wn shoes. Bob loved those shoes, envied her those shoes.   

       When he thought Andrea was at work and he was home alone, Bob would force his feet into those small, perfect, brown shoes.   

       He would tiptoe around the penthouse, careful not to break down the heels, moaning quietly as the burnt sienna flats crimped his toes.
normzone, Feb 06 2015

       y-oes. The podiatrist said walking on cereal was good for his corns.
RayfordSteele, Feb 07 2015

       futures. It was the most ridiculous financial advice he had ever received, but the podiatrist had clued him to Microsoft, way back when. And the imminent bubble burst date of the dot.com boom. And to the S&L crash.   

       He and Andrea would not be here, in the penthouse, if he had ignored the podiatrist's counsels regarding selling his Radio Shack shares at the peak and buying that F - 35 subcomponent manufacturing plant, the one that made Crashable Aircraft.   

       And, oh shit. There was Andrea, big as life. And him in her shoes. Perhaps she wouldn't notice.   

       So around, and around he went. He could smell the Toesty-Os.
normzone, Feb 07 2015

       emite Sam had burnt, when he was a houseguest. Come to think of it, the sofa smelled too
FlyingToaster, Feb 07 2015

       strongly of vinegar. The upstairs maid had given Sam a shellacking and used strong cleaners in the aftermath
popbottle, Feb 07 2015

       ematics. Those arithmetic wind-down sessions were very relaxing, but
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 07 2015

       abuse of the comment system [--]   

       creative abuse [+]   

       net [-]
Voice, Feb 07 2015

       ly overweight, he had nevertheless found a pair of trunks that fitted. Pausing only to collect his deerstalker, he
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 07 2015

       mulled for a moment..."Why do I collect deerstalkers? It could have been ball caps, or fedoras, but for some reason it's deerstalkers that do
normzone, Feb 07 2015

       uble the
hippo, Feb 08 2015

       job. Where's my soul mate Andrea...I wonder. She's quite fond of Deerstalkers, though I had to tell what they were once a long time
blissmiss, Feb 08 2015

       ago. Before this idea was posted. Before the Halfbakery crash. Before owning a radio
normzone, Feb 08 2015

       station was one of the chief concerns of the Environmentalist wing of the Dyslexia Society. Their fundraiser to buy an acre of Amazonian Rainfoster had been a dig pissabointment, but they
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 08 2015

       cheered up when they learned that Amazonian RainFoster was sold by either the can, bottle, or shares (if you were purchasing stock).   

       The acre they'd purchased contained herbs critical to the RainFoster process, and the carefully controlled growth of these herbs by professional to
normzone, Feb 08 2015

       piarists to wonder
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 08 2015

       and disconcerts in equal measure. After the incendiary
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 08 2015

MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 08 2015

       ...can being one of the largest mining companies in the world;
DrBob, Feb 08 2015

       oscopy is generally less painful than a full : oscopy, but should nevertheless not be taken
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 08 2015

       alongs she participated in as a child always praised them so
RayfordSteele, Feb 08 2015

       she grew up believing that the 1980's calculator manufacturers, based on the podiatrist's advice, were good investments. And the deerstalkers...   

       The sex change and memory erase had taken a toll, and her behavior had been rather erratic for a while.   

       She'd spent countless barefoot hours in the forest, stalking the wild deer, sure that one day she would get close enough to grab one. She'd never really worked out what she would do with it then, but in her fantasies she and the deer arrived back at the temple, and everyone could see she was a true deer stalker.   

       When [blissmiss], near falling over with laughter, had explained what a deerstalker really was, Andrea had cried for days.   

       Although she did still retain fond memories of the theremin music in the calculator collector ceremonies .   

       She added a quick link to the
normzone, Feb 09 2015

       remins 'R' Us to her online wishlist - her birthday was approaching. Meanwhile a shifty-toothed and eyeless old man crept down
hippo, Feb 09 2015

       town to the City Zoo, where he stabbed a hippo for impersonating his demeanor.
RayfordSteele, Feb 09 2015

       " Oh god. What have I done? Sorry, Jutta " he cried.
normzone, Feb 09 2015

       ... [normzone] awoke from his nightmare and rolled over in bed, freeing himself from the tender embrace of his fellow Halfbaker, [
hippo, Feb 10 2015

       redacted], before plugging in
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 10 2015

       ner ears of all fifteen of the basset hounds in the house with wax. He couldn't risk letting them hear his
RayfordSteele, Feb 10 2015

       snores, or they would begin howling and wake the neighbors. He had never wanted to own bassets, but the leader of the pack was pretty self sufficient, and ruled the rest of them with an iron paw.
normzone, Feb 10 2015

       The basset owned several cars, but used only the chauffeur and the Benz to go clubbing. He only had eyes for Lola the
popbottle, Feb 10 2015

       other clubber. Between them, they had the baby seal industry pretty well sewn
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 10 2015


       The music he'd been working on had been messing with his mind again. The creative process happened somewhere between his waking mind, and the strange places he dreamed in.
normzone, Feb 10 2015

       He could hear the neighbor playing his techno again, the bass turned up to un-neighborly levels, the looped lyrics and variants on a catchy tune repeating.   

       It would be fun to listen to, if it wasn't so
normzone, Feb 10 2015

       like listening to a fifteen basset surround sound system while shooting a tiger in your pajamas. What he was
popbottle, Feb 11 2015

       thinking was how ridiculous it would be to shoot a tiger. You'd have to go to the zoo to do something like that. He'd read about some crazy guy at the zoo stabbing the recycling bin yesterday - sad, how people break down.   

       He got the paper and put the kettle on
normzone, Feb 11 2015

       ly. As he filled a glass from the kitchen tap, a dark, gravelly voice announced "It was late at night and I couldn't sleep - I was thirsty so I went to get a glass of water".
hippo, Feb 11 2015

       ly wasn't a promising situation
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 11 2015

       ist artwork
hippo, Feb 11 2015

       , it was simply an opportunity for dominance in propogating its meager genetic coding forwards in the harsh conditions in which it tried to survive. Life on Urghughhrumph wasn't pretty; most folk in more advanced planets could describe it as nasty, brutish, and short. But all that was about to change with the possibilities that this new stimulus provided, and Grr'rurskzitdmf had it within his
RayfordSteele, Feb 11 2015

       CD collection a rare single by the boy band
normzone, Feb 11 2015

       Mornington Crescent !
8th of 7, Feb 11 2015

       On this world, you see, land masses reproduced in much the same we animals do in our world. This opportunity, a potentially timely coupling between recent igneous and early sedimentary, represented
normzone, Feb 11 2015

       a chance to create the bedrock for the first tube station on Urghughhrumph, or indeed, anywhere in the immediate few light years. Galactic geologists and archeologists everywhere would look upon this as the point where interplanetary transportation really took a
RayfordSteele, Feb 12 2015

       bout two or three generations. However
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 12 2015

hippo, Feb 13 2015

       he'd visited there. But due to his time-shifting device, each time was something new and different, except for the tube itself, which curiously stayed the same. In his previous visit, some of the subway station tiles had fallen off, leaving nothing but 'C_d__ I_own.' He thought about visiting his apartment in this century to see what became of his Mornington Crescent cds, but couldn't risk bumping into his older self, which is awkward when you haven't studied your verb tenses for time travelers class notes in eons.
RayfordSteele, Feb 13 2015

       He'd visited there only once, after making certain his other self was at work. But due to his time-shifting device, each time was something new and different, even the television tube itself, which curiously stayed the same.   

       In his previous visit, some of his CD collection had been arranged on the carpet to spell out " CAMDEN TUNE '. He thought about visiting his apartment in this century to see what became of his cds, since there was little risk of bumping into his older self, who would be at time traveler class studying verb tenses.   

       He could hear Kid Beyond doing Wandering Star on somebody's phone.   

       The song ended and a commercial for
normzone, Feb 13 2015

       eskin salesman
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 13 2015

       began talking about a new line of suitcases that could change size
normzone, Feb 13 2015

       - when neglected for a while they would shrink to their original size, crushing the contents.
normzone, Feb 13 2015

       but the door in his mind stayed firmly shut; until
DrBob, Feb 14 2015

       led fields extended to the horizon, throwing into perspective the unwashed dishes in the sink.
pertinax, Feb 15 2015

       ral!" and, so saying, he fell over
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 15 2015

       he remembered once his other self had been a vegetarian. But due to his time-shifting device, each time was something new and different, even the spices used, which curiously included dried, ground feathers.   

       For the most recent of those breakfasts, pomegranate seeds had been arranged on a cutting board, spelling out the word " Barbican ". He thought about visiting his apartment in that century to see what became of his television, since there was little risk of bumping into his alter self, who would be at the clinic by the beach at this time of the day.   

       It was probably an amino acids or protein issue - he was always complaining about being
normzone, Feb 15 2015

MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 15 2015

       There was not much real news these days. It was mostly advertisements and people complaining about other people's choices.   

       Television was so bad. When soundscapes and pretty colors had superceded telling tales and real reporting, he'd taken his television and set it out by the curb. He did miss one show,
normzone, Feb 15 2015

       "The HalfBakery." It was one of the new genre of Unreality Television shows which had recently ascended into popularity for some reason. This one show was at least marginally tolerable because of the antics of
AusCan531, Feb 15 2015

       the rotating cast. [IanTindale] could be relied upon to change his story periodically. Some of the cast provided shifting viewpoints, while still others objected so strongly to their roles that they sat there pouting, only occasionally muttering " It's a clogged up list and it should go " and " Let's all ! " into their microphones.   

       Which did
normzone, Feb 15 2015

       n't ever explain why he'd built his estate at the top of a mountain.

Meanwhile, far away
hippo, Feb 16 2015

       [ixnaum] wondered to himself if perhaps he should begin the prequal to this adventure edit: prequel (sigh)
dentworth, Feb 16 2015

       . It was important, you see, if adventures were likely to require some financial backing from sponsors, to get prequalified for them. Otherwise escaping the financial burden of a failed exposition to the frontier often became an adventure in
RayfordSteele, Feb 16 2015

       croyable! Meanwhile, even further away [bigsleep] looked flushed and sticky. He gave some unlikely excuse for his appearance in
hippo, Feb 16 2015

       's guess.
dentworth, Feb 16 2015

       t-list on which not even
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 16 2015

       orro would appear on. However, the
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 16 2015

       ory suggests a
hippo, Feb 16 2015

       that seldom rely on structural modelling. All in all, the design of the Institute for Advanced Engineering would have benefitted considerably from the inclusion of lifts or, indeed, of
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 16 2015

       egotiable staircases. Still, it wasn't as if
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 16 2015

       best idea to hold a cat in that position for more than
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 16 2015

       ksgiving dinner. Cats will do anything for more of that delicious thanksgiving food. In fact
hippo, Feb 16 2015

       ories up and down the land, discarded cats were being progressively fattened for their
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 16 2015

       mael ceremony, also known as cat's pajamas round up. This is were cats rope and throw mice from the backs of Doberman Pinschers in the great State of
popbottle, Feb 17 2015

MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 17 2015

       . Having autoclaved the dishes, Bob was washing up the endoscope. Dates? It had seen a few. Bob looked up at the word "coherent" in the idea title, and sighed.
pertinax, Feb 17 2015

       [ixnaum]'s prequel was a great idea. It could address how the evil people in the world came to be.   

       It would be a tale of innocence, bent and eventually diverted in directions that the author had never intended. Well meaning persons would have their good works subverted. A press of the random button could yield further ideas such as
normzone, Feb 17 2015

       s whippings were not easy to take, but
xandram, Feb 17 2015

       [xandram]'s tastes ran to such things, and it would be rude to hold
normzone, Feb 17 2015

       it against
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 17 2015

       her body without doing everything possible to satisfy her. Although it was long ago, he had fond memories of their time together, all 24 seconds of it. His wife had never asked, a clear sign that she knew and did not wish to know more.   

       Ning Ton Crescent was coming into view.
normzone, Feb 17 2015

       Anything you want to tell us, [norm]?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 17 2015

       the radio crackled. The throat mic LED lit when he replied "All clear here, ready to proceed ".   

normzone, Feb 17 2015

       dog walker is going EVA in exactly 23 seconds". But without waiting any longer he exited the air lock and went towards the cliff's edge.   

       Peering over, he mulled "It's a long way to Tipperary"
normzone, Feb 17 2015

       A figure emerged from the shadows and quietly said the second part of the passphrase "It's a long way to go".
hippo, Feb 18 2015

       Unnoticed & unknown, a third figure hidden in the darkness grinned, pushed down on a plunger connected to a long trail of wires & quietly exclaimed, in his best fake-German accent, "Goodbye Piccadilly!".
DrBob, Feb 18 2015

       The explosion blew Agent Piccadilly off his feet and he tumbled over the edge of the Reichenbach Falls.
hippo, Feb 18 2015

       mith in charge of handing out assignments was fond of obtusely encoding them into crossword puzzles; it was the one way that agents could be certain that the integrity of the assignment was not compromised. Finding no such puzzle either inside or outside the envelope, the figure kept a wary watch on Picadilly's replacement. There was something downright
RayfordSteele, Feb 18 2015

       spooky the way Agent Leicester reminded him of a younger, more attractive Agent Mornington Crescent. His cup of tea had gone cold so he
hippo, Feb 18 2015

       abi-flavoured stuff just wasn't the same as his usual cuppa. Acting on impulse, he t
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 18 2015

       hought this was likely to be his last
dentworth, Feb 18 2015

       opportunity to try to make a coherent story using characters and themes introduced by his predecessors   

       He always re-read from the beginning each time, though it took him more than 20 seconds. It was very likely (encouraged) that someone prior to him had edited their annotation.   

       Blitzen didn't believe in ghosts. Agent Picadilly was dead.   

       Blitzen was a simple minded creature - hired solely for his killing abilities - he picked up a can of beer and opened it with his hoof. He then turned on the TV set he'd found on the curb.   

       The violent disappearance and presumed death of Agent Picadilly (no body had been located) drove him into a deep mourning. Ton crescent futures fell dramatically in response to the event
normzone, Feb 18 2015

       exactly the same as Bob's agent id number. It must be a sign, he thought, perhaps one of his 'sleepers' making contact at last. He looked for the details of a rendezvous in the eBay listing. Discreetly, he
hippo, Feb 19 2015

       changed the spelling of 'prequal' to 'prequel' in dentworth's long forgotten anno, and thought to himself,"I shall sleep better tonight!"
dentworth, Feb 19 2015

       When he contacted the EBay seller by email, the response was confusing. " Which part of " The rules are relaxed " did you guys not understand?"   

       " I wonder if this is a counter-sign I've not been appraised of, or just some nutter who's made one too many trips to the post office ? " he mused aloud. He thought back to how he'd gotten into this crazy agent business. There had been something on the television, back before it went to the curb, involving cats on dogs roping mice at Anxiety ( in the great state of Texas ).   

       There was a group of protesters claiming it was cruel to the mice. Some counter-protesters carried signs saying that the dogs were on drugs. The cats wanted the time allowed for the roping extended to 19 seconds.   

       There was an interruption to the signal, and a woman appeared on the screen, and addressed him by name.
normzone, Feb 19 2015

       "Grr'rurskzitdmf," she said, in a most unearthly-sounding accent that strained the rr's in the manner of a native of the northern hemisphere of Urghughhrumph, "You must proceed cautiously. The people of this city do not respect inplanterary political geology nearly as much as they should, and our enemies are thick in
RayfordSteele, Feb 19 2015

       layers where they should be thin, and thin in layers where they should be thick.   

       Let me tell you why you are here. I've watched you, Grr'rurskzitdmf. You have a gift. You do not use your igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic processes as others do.   

       The land mass is all around us. It's even here in this cluster. You feel it when you intake raw materials, when you void the inconsequential metals and ores, and when you auto-locate referencing the radiating orb in the sky. You feel it when you align your molecules in the domains dictated by the state, and when your magnetic monopoles respond every 18 seconds to localized fields. It is the land mass that has been tectonically adjusted over your perceptual inputs to blind you from the truth.   

       I offer you two mineral samples. If you accept the topaz sample, you will regain conciousness in the morning in your geological form, and it will be as if all this was a temporary upswelling of sedimentary layers.   

       If you accept the ruby mineral sample, I promise you that your alternate existence as a bipedal flesh-dwelling psuedo-sentient life form will be fraught with danger, grammar and spelling challenges, and opportunities for pain and suffering unlike you have ever imagined".
normzone, Feb 19 2015

       Grr'rurskzitdmf took the topaz sample, being not quite certain how either of them materialized from the TV. He'd witnessed the amazingly brief lifespans that those bipedal flesh-dwelling psuedo-sentients lived and wanted nothing of it. But then a cat that he'd sworn he'd seen before knocked the ruby mineral sample into his digestion chamber, together with the topaz sample. Grr'rurskzitdmf felt himself shifting back and forth between two states, one a bipedal flesh-dwelling pseudo-sentient, the other his more comfortable igneous-sedimentary form, and let out a small earthquake of combined indigestion, headache, steam geyser, and hiccup that rather confused his bipedal form which kept phasing in and out of existence.
RayfordSteele, Feb 19 2015

       Idea is totally about creating a list therefore.... [marked-for-deletion] reason? ..... Idea is totally about creating a list..... ad infinitum
xenzag, Feb 19 2015

       his contact. He also had this strange compulsion to start jumping over himself, now being simultaneously part rock and part rock-hopper penguin.
RayfordSteele, Feb 19 2015

       Agent Piccadilly spent a long, long time underwater. It was cold and confusing. He kept expecting to die, for it all to end in some painful final transition lasting 17 seconds to darkness, but it just kept going on and on.   

       After forever, he realized he was still breathing. While everything hurt, and there was no small amount of blood, his limbs still worked. He considered calling for assistance, and then realized that whoever had tried to kill him could still be in the area.   

       It was time to go dark, to fall back on the secret places a man keeps in his plans against the remote possibility of need. A time to brood while recovering his strength. He had an enemy to identify, an enemy to locate and destroy. There could be a renewed porpoise in his life.
normzone, Feb 19 2015

MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 19 2015

       Expediting all the does?--shucks, he forgot what female dolphins were called these days. The cows, yes, that's right--they were super fragile... Ticking time bombs of sadistic female mammalian hormones which hexed him--not to mention their halitosis...
RayfordSteele, Feb 19 2015

       ( a 16 second flashback to Piccadilly's penultimate she-porpoise - Lori... )   

       " Lori ? "   

       " Yeah, sweetheart ? " she squeaked in that touching way she had.   

       " Let's do it. "   

       " Do what ? " she chittered, visibly warming up.   

       " Move to Mornington Station " he said.   

       " Honey, do you have to spoil a perfectly wonderful morning ? "   

       " Just think about it. "   

       " Sweetheart, we've been through this a million times. You'd hate it at Mornington Station. It's dry, it's ugly, it's boring - I mean really, a revolution could break out there at any moment " she squeaked, becoming visibly agitated.   

       " [xenzag] says it's just a few extremists. "   

       " And you believe him ? "
normzone, Feb 20 2015

       The extremists were gathering. Mike knew his idea would revolutionize the meetings. It involved a form of conversational game but with each new twist, still making points about the current cause . New blood would be drawn into the fold and the Mornington Station cell will be filled, he wickedly thought to himself.
wjt, Feb 20 2015

hippo, Feb 20 2015

       to die " someone who looked like Rutger Hauer said in his head 15 seconds after that.   

       " Four year life span. Now there's a Nexus 6 over at the Tyrell Corporation. I want you to go put the machine on it."   

       " And if the machine doesn't work ? "
normzone, Feb 20 2015

       At that time Miss Conduct and Miss Behavin were discussing Who's Afraid of Vagina Wolfe and met around the corner from the pub to
xandram, Feb 20 2015

       take the empathy test - We call it Voight - Kampff for short. "   

       " Do you mind if I smoke a Smokers Duck-billed Hat(ypus) ? "   

       " After the first 14 seconds it won't affect the test. All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions. Just relax and answer them as simply as you can. -- It's your birthday. Someone gives you a Flashbang Wallet."   

       " I wouldn't accept it. Also, I'd report the person who gave it to me to the Reality Management Consultancy Secrets Police. "   

       " You've got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. "   

       " I'd take him to the Giftwrapped Doctor's Office. "   

       " You're watching television. Suddenly you realize there's a Wasp Vacuum crawling on your arm. "   

       " I'd kill it by Heroin Overdose Execution. "   

       " You're reading a magazine. You come across a fullpage nude photo of a girl. "   

       " Is this testing whether I'm a replicant or a Sticky Lesbian TV Hologram ? "   

       " You show it to your husband. He likes it so much he hangs it on his Blowup Bedroom wall. "   

       " I wouldn't let him."   

       " Why not ? "   

       " I should be enough for him, AND the earls court. "
normzone, Feb 20 2015

       or so it would seem at first viewing. Blitzen could smell the cigar his neighbor Julie was smoking. He got up and closed the window, then changed the channel, and was rewarded by Algernon with the weather.   

       " We're going to see a low pressure cell forming over the Amazonian Rainfoster in the next few days, and this could be a big problem for the Holographic Physical Displacement Illusion Software & Pre-emptive Locality Adjustment Controlled Experiment (HoPDISPLACE) festival scheduled this coming weekend. "
normzone, Feb 20 2015

       quick brown fox as it jumped over the lazy dog.
DrBob, Feb 21 2015

       The dog, meanwhile, was having doubts over the replacement gearbox he'd bought for his 4x4. He'd got in on eBay but, as the delivery man started to carry it up to the front porch, he distinctly heard 1950's music coming from the distant incoming transmission. That was a bad sign.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 21 2015

       'Pitiful', thought the cow, looking on.
wjt, Feb 21 2015

       But then again the cow had never had much of an ear for music, at least not since the accident
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 21 2015

       hespacesbetween words randomly closing up was only compounding the matter. Still, atleast
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 21 2015

       Light, with all the photon armies and duality tricks could not defeat space. To keep up the futile fight, till the last universal word is spoken, was all Light had.
wjt, Feb 21 2015

       known as the Welsh Regional Technology Development Council (or Cymru Dyffydwch Pwyllygch a-Brrystwyth as it was known after the eighth pint).   

       Over thirty pounds of government money had been spent on the ambitious pyramid project before anyone had thought to check which way up it ought to be, but by then it was too late. Another twenty quid would no doubt be needed to rebuild Ebbw Vale.   

       Throwing another sheep on the fire, Brythnell Davies decided to forget the whole fiasco. The pyramid had simply been too ambitious - sheer madness - and he wondered how he had ever let himself be drawn into the fantasy. It was one of those unfathomable mysteries, right up there with "how do hammers actually work?" and "why, in a language with no vowels, is everyone called 'Davies'?".   

       Meanwhile, in the saloon bar of the Slate and Sheepshit, an angry mob was beginning to form. They had no way to express their outrage - the closest they could get was "yttryj" - and were hyll-bynt on vylnc. The loudest voice amongst the troublemakers was Allwyn Davies, and drynk had made him bwyld.   

       "What have the Ynglysh ever done for us?!" he cried.   

       The silence that followed was broken by little Wyllym Davies: "Well, there's cooking, I suppose" he said.   

       "Wyll, OK, there's cooking isn't it," replied Allwyn "but apart from that, like?"   

       "And chairs!" piped up Mychel Davis "They're quite nice."   

       "Wyll, yys, chairs obviously, but apart from cooking and chairs, what have the Ynglysh ever done for..."   

       "Breathing!" chimed in Tyffyny Davies from behind the bar "remember how we all used to just hold our breath until we fell down?"   

       Allwyn had had ynough. Throwing back the last of his pynt, he siezed
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 21 2015

       his todger and set upon a course of endment.   

       Blitzen drank the rest of his beer, and opened a bottle of the refined stuff. Three fingers, or in his case one hoof, went into a glass along with three ice cubes. He began to inventory the players, sorted into PCs and NPCs.   

       ixnaum,iantindale, mouseposture, hippo, DrBob, bigsleep, infidel, popbottle, voice, blissmiss, pertinax, dentworth, and AusCan521 were all agents from the past who maintained no current connections with the agency - they could only be updated if they chose to check in.   

       Many others maintained current contact data in their files. Situation updates could be relayed to these when circumstances merited. A central method could be used to ping them all at once if desired. Blitzen crafted a missive and sent it to all 'cross the interweb. One of the messages bounced back instantly, undeliverable.
normzone, Feb 22 2015

       [-] Doesn't work. Refined stuff tends to be replaced with larger volumes of lesser stuff when the lists get to big.
wjt, Feb 22 2015

       In what way is this posting not exactly that which is described here, as directly quoted from the help file under reasons for deletion?   

       "list - the invention itself is intended as a parlour game to be played in its annotations. For example, everybody posts their favorite names, or whom they'd eat first if they were stuck with humanity on a desert island, or people write a story by each appending a single word."
xenzag, Feb 22 2015

       were discussing a challenging case. The patient had a series of organs (some 3 primary, some 12 secondary) that were malfunctioning - one of the doctors wanted to try and salvage one organs group, referred to as LIST ( liver, intestines, spleen and thryroid ).   

       The other doctor, who advocated aggressive use of the latest implants available, favored removing the group of organs. He was muttering
normzone, Feb 22 2015

       It's a clogged up list and it should go.
xenzag, Feb 22 2015

       on and on. Blitzen chewed on the eraser end and worked his pencil as the list grew.   

       The others Blitzen was aware of - the elf, Santa, Goldilocks, Bob, Andrea, Grr'ruskzitdmf, Watson, Holmes, Mr. Who Smith, Jutta and the neighbor Julie, all seemed pretty limited in their participation in the affair.   

       It came down to Piccadilly, now dead. And Leicester, his walk-on replacement. And Mornington Crescent. And Blitzen. Who, despite the report of a fake german accent being heard just before Piccadilly's death, had not been the one to trigger the explosion. He'd held Piccadilly in the highest regard, regardless that they did not always play on the same side.   

       It was likely that whoever had come for Piccadilly would come for another of them soon. They were all in danger.   

       Unknown to Blitzen, at that moment, in the far north, an elf stood knocking at Santa's door. " I've brought the new list you requested. Santa? Are you there? " He tried the knob. The door swung open.   

       The scene before him was awful. Santa wasn't moving. A silenced pistol coughed a few times, each a little louder than the last. The elf spun and fell, and began his addition to the colorful puddle.
normzone, Feb 26 2015

       The pistol went into a bag. The bag
normzone, Mar 04 2016

       was made of burlap and was worn and raggedy. It had seen better days, but still served Master well. He easily could stuff a few ducks and a goose or two in it, and it would hold nicely. Just fine, it was, just fine, he thought as he scratched his disheveled hair, and began pacing back and forth. Of course it was just fine. How else could he reach his goal?
blissmiss, Mar 06 2016

       Well, the journey of several thousand miles begins with one plane ticket, and the pistol and the bag would never get past security.   

       As he snowshoed to the extraction point, Master dropped the bag and it's contents into the fjord. The skiplane took him to the nearest airport (link).   

       His goal was to finish the list. Bob Floater and Andrea would never know what hit them.
normzone, Mar 09 2016

       By the time he got to Phoenix, she was rising.
normzone, Sep 07 2017

       Phoenix was usually a late sleeper, but after singeing her hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes off while in an opioid-addled state trying to prove that she actually was a 'Phoenix' and not just named that by her bus-hippie mother, she gave up trying to sleep anytime past 7. Plus, her hitman contact would be checking in soon. He needed money and some new paper
RayfordSteele, Sep 07 2017

       After singing off her hair, eyebrows and eyelashes she sang her heart out. Boy could she sing. Next stop Broadway.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 08 2017

       Master could hear the song before he stepped out of the elevator.   

       " And the lamb .... lies down .... on Broadway "   

       The girl could belt it out, you had to give her that. He wondered if she'd be able to hear him knocking on the door.   

       Across the city, Blitzen put his notes in one side of the saddlebag, corked the bottle and put it in the other side. It was time to get on the road.
normzone, Sep 08 2017

       I think I've got that as a single.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 08 2017

       shot derringer " she said, opening the door. "But you'll want a full set of tools ".   

       " I didn't think you could hear me over your rendition of the Canned Heat song ".   

       " Don't be silly - there's a camera in the elevator ". She closed the door behind him and locked it. " I understand you need paper as well - the usual terms ? "
normzone, Sep 08 2017

       "The usual. Onion skin--bleached white--no watermarks, and as generic as you can find. The ransom note is more believable that way. 2 reams. And a new ID. By the way, what did happen to your hair?"   

       "Uh... curling iron caught fire..."   

       "And singed off your eyebrows too?"   

       "Too much hairspray in the conflagration..."   

       "I see." The master always expected the truth from his clients--all the better to work in a believable lie framed around the truth for their alibis than to spin a tangential yarn that nobody would believe about them. He could tell that she was lying through her teeth about this, but it didn't seem important.   

       The elevator door
RayfordSteele, Sep 08 2017

       s were playing tonight at CBGBs. If he could get Phoenix to focus on her work, he could still catch the show.
normzone, Sep 09 2017

       It made for a convenient cover for Phoenix, anyway, hers having been burnt off in that 'fire-cleansing' facial ritual from Facebook she thought she should try. Fake news, she concluded about it shortly after.   

       There were definite downsides in having no eyebrows, she decided. So much of communication is non-verbal, especially at a loud concert, and with nothing much to furrow besides some skin, her master hitman partner was not picking up on her attempts at getting him to stop talking about the giraffe
RayfordSteele, Nov 09 2017


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