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Generate Electricity and Exploit animals!
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For years, we have used Hydroelectric power to generate electricity to power cities. The problem with hydroelectric power is that we need to have a river nearby in order to setup a plant. Well, my friends, i have a cure for this problem: Goats. Goats are hardy animals, and can eat almost anything, which makes them ideal for this experiment. What if man were to perform microsurgery on a goat, and put miniature turbines in his bloodstream? Then, just by living, the goat would provide energy for us. Imagine, a huge room full of goats generating cheap electricity simply by existing. They can also be milked, and their feces can be sold for fertilizer. Hows that for an efficiant company? Food for these animals is cheap, so it would require very little maintinance. They can reproduce, giving you more generators, and when they die, you can even grind them up for food for eachother! Sick? Yes, but thats the way business works. Goats are the way of the future
djinnmastr, Apr 02 2002

Coäts http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Co_e4ts
[phoenix, Apr 03 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Sanguidynamic Power Plats Sanguidynamic_20Power_20Plants
The Human Connection [grza, Oct 15 2007]


       Possibilty that the author here was a recipient of one of those controversial goat gonad implants.
entremanure, Apr 03 2002

       While he didn't generate electricity, a guy I once knew actually used goats instead of trash service.
thumbwax, Apr 03 2002

       You can train goats to drive bin/trash lorries?
calum, Apr 03 2002

       The term "Nanny State" springs instantly to mind.
brewmaster, Apr 03 2002

       After reading the first two sentences, I was expecting the idea to be about a turbine through which animals fell (instead of water). I like this idea much less.   

       By the way, goats aren't the future - Coäts are.
phoenix, Apr 03 2002

       [djinnmastr] Do you have a 'thing' for goats? or just know a few in need of some work? Other animals have larger cardio systems for your "bloodstream turbines" and probably would work much better.
dag, Apr 03 2002

       Go directly to Jail. Do not pass Goat. Do not collect $200.
thumbwax, Apr 03 2002

       the only reason i chose goats is because they are very hardy creatures who will eat just about anything... i mean, if i was going for the most power, i'd just get a blue whale, but that would cost too much to feed and create a tank for it and what not... another possibility i've thought of are cockroaches, but i'm not even sure if they have closed bloodstreams... plus they are way too small
djinnmastr, Apr 07 2002

       I don't think sea mammals would be the best choice. Something with hyper activity and a high blood mass flow rate would work well. Hamster? No, bigger. Dogs? No, too cute. Humans? there you go. But I think the Matrix baked this already.   

       You may have a while before nanotechnology fields a working miniature blood turbine.
dag, Apr 07 2002

       [phoenix] may have an idea there. If we were to grow animals or plants at high altitude, and roll them downhill, we could use the resulting gravitational potential energy to power turbines in a manner analogous to hydro-electric power. The advantage is that the raw materials will be primarily oxygen and rainwater, both of which get up hills for free.   

       I propose high-altitude turnip farms, from which we will roll the produce downhill through a series of pipes and turbines to the bottom, where they will be fed to sheep on treadmills. All the third world's power needs could be solved instantly.
pottedstu, Apr 08 2002

       Got the statistics to prove it, 'stu? How many kilowatts do you reckon a turnip would fetch?
neelandan, Apr 09 2002

       Methinks the cost of constructing and surgically implanting these turbines would far overpower the cost benefit of using this energy as opposed to standard hydro.   

       As for the 'sick' part about grinding them up for food for one another; that's already done.   

       Pardon me if this offends, but it might be better to simply use the goats as fuel in a standard steam turbine power plant. Or put them in fusion reactors à la Mr Fusion.
Macwarrior, Mar 04 2003

       **CRUNCH** "hey...what's this in my curried goat? ....It appears to be a tiny turbine!"
cameron, Mar 05 2003

       Well, I reckon a turnip is about a pound in weight, and since the force of gravity dictates how fast things accelerate as they fall, I can just drop any old thing...   

       Let's see, this hacky sack takes about a second to fall ten feet, and I guess a turnip could do the same, and better if it fell further due to acceleration... so that the turnip definitely can move it's own weight at a speed of 600 feet per minute, giving it the ability to move 600 pound feet per minute, or 1/55 of a horse power.   

       Hey, not bad, that means we just need 55 pounds of falling turnips to produce 1 horsepower! Right? No?
ye_river_xiv, Feb 03 2007

       How many falling horses would it take to get one HP?
gardnertoo, Feb 03 2007

       Goats? Enslavement of the goats? freedom! Freedom for the Goats of the world....freedom NOW!   

       I give it a big fishbone!
Blisterbob, Aug 21 2007

       [Bob], one of the goats has eaten it.
david_scothern, Oct 15 2007


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