Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Electrostatic Boots

  [vote for,

Attractive as van-de-graaff generators are, they would nonetheless be somewhat cumbersome if fitted to one's boots. But the technology exists to generate a very high voltage in a tiny, battery-powered format, as in a taser.

The very bottom of the sole of an Electrostatic Boot is impregnated with aluminium to make it conductive. Clicking the heels and raising a boot a few inches from the ground begins the sequence. A grounding electrode springs down and a high tension is developed between the ground and the underneath of the shoe. Since the rest of the boot is insulated, the wearer remains at a relatively isolated voltage.

And why would you wear Electrostatic Boots? To expunge the proletarian need to wipe your feet, of course. Particles of dirt find themselves both repelled by the sole and attracted to the earth. When you start to hear the cracking of electrical arcs (avoid eye contact), the cleaning process is complete, the electrode retracts and you may tread without fear of mucking the carpet.

Also functions as an impromptu cigarette lighter, and if you're standing in the right type of acid, the boots can self-electroplate. Bling.

mitxela, Sep 10 2015

voltage multiplication https://www.youtube...watch?v=ep3D_LC2UzU
As mentioned in an annotation. [Vernon, Sep 10 2015]


       Hmmmm...a combination of piezoelectrics with a Cockroft- Walton voltage multiplier?
Vernon, Sep 10 2015

       I am pretty sure that [8th] will have something to say about this as soon as they restore his internet privileges. In the meantime, he has asked me to tell you all how much he appreciated the get-well-soon cards and the "Kutest Katz" kalendar.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 13 2015

       Can you explain the electrostatic cleaning mechanism? I don't know of that being possible. It's not a polarity thing: electrostatic precipitators can collect on an electrode of either polarity, depending on their positions in the flow path —their polarity choice is driven by which produces less ozone.
notexactly, Dec 12 2018


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