Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Emergency Clip-On Banana Stalks

Never again face the horror of a stubborn banana...
  (+7, -6)
(+7, -6)
  [vote for,
against]

We've all been there. You go to break a banana away from a bunch, and before you know it, the banana has come clean away without a stalk! This renders the banana almost impossible to open without utilising a piece of kitchen equipment such as a knife...

Not anymore! The Emergency Clip-On banana stalks consists of a stalk shaped piece of plastic, with a few tiny crocodile clips attatched to the bottom. Just clip on, and watch in amazement as your movement effortlessy peels back the skin, gripped by the crocodile clips. Perfect.

chard, Aug 03 2002

How to Peel a Banana http://www.youtube....watch?v=nBJV56WUDng
A last! Definitive proof. [DrBob, Jul 08 2009]

[link]






       0047 0065 006E 0069 0075 0073
NickTheGreat, Aug 03 2002
  

       Why type in unicode?
chard, Aug 03 2002
  

       0057 0068 0079 0020 006E 006F 0074 003F
NickTheGreat, Aug 03 2002
  

       I'm not even going to sink to your sickening level of nerdiness by translating that.
chard, Aug 03 2002
  

       Your loss. Perhaps [UnaBubba] can help...   

       0055 0042 003A 0020 0048 0065 006C 0070 0020 006E 0065 0065 0064 0065 0064 002E 0020 0053 0045 0045 0020 0063 0068 0061 0072 0064 0020 0066 006F 0072 0020 0064 0065 0074 0061 0069 006C 0073   

       You know, if I'd timed that right, his anno would've sprouted up by the time I had hit 0046 0035.
NickTheGreat, Aug 03 2002
  

       I thought that we had already decided that the right way to peel a banana was from the *other* end.
po, Aug 04 2002
  

       No, you eat the banana from the middle out. Just try it, it tastes better that way. Go on, chop the banana in half and eat it, its what the apes do.
[ sctld ], Aug 04 2002
  

       are they the oohh, oohh noises that Nt(notso)G is making?
po, Aug 04 2002
  

       00CK 00FF
General Washington, Aug 04 2002
  

       True sctld - the bits right at the end taste bitter.
namaste, Aug 04 2002
  

       d9 85 81 93 40 94 85 95 40 a4 a2 85 40 c5 c2 c3 c4 c9 c3
pottedstu, Aug 05 2002
  

       c7 x b8(=Q) ++
DrBob, Aug 05 2002
  

       Don't know that one, DrBob...
[Pottedstu] you're on a different character set from me. Kindly talk in C0 controls and basic lation 0000 - 007F. Thank you.
NickTheGreat, Aug 05 2002
  

       [DrBob]: Got you! Mate in two.
angel, Aug 05 2002
  

       although I would like to find these coded annotations amusing, insightful or perhaps just something to pass the time, I am prevented by a lack of understanding. If this is widespread, perhaps [chard] would like to delete the annos that disriminate against non-geeks, so that the rest of us can get on with annotating and croissanting his actual idea.
in other words ***when all the stupid numbers go, this gets a + from me***
sappho, Aug 05 2002
  

       Sappho: Unabubba says "NTG: neede? Learn to spell, fuck's sake!
NickTheGreat, Aug 05 2002
  

       damn. did I actually sound like I cared?
sappho, Aug 05 2002
  

       No, but I was bored, so hey......
NickTheGreat, Aug 05 2002
  

       I bought a banana the other day that had the stalk cut flush and it was a complete pain to peel without mushing the banana. Fortunately I had my penknife on me which quickly cured the problem.
st3f, Aug 05 2002
  

       sappho: I'm with you.   

       chard: If your idea gets covered with off topic banter dump the off-topic ones.   

       DrBob: Nice finish.   

       angel: That *was* mate.
st3f, Aug 05 2002
  

       What exactly was DrBob writing in there... something that ain't unicode, clearly...
NickTheGreat, Aug 05 2002
  

       That was just DrBob queening his pawn, as opposed to pawning his queen.
PeterSilly, Aug 05 2002
  

       I was going to add a "feel free to delete my off-topic annotation" annotation, but I was worried that I would be contributing another off-topic annotation, so I wrote this anyway.   

       However, I think it's a tribute to the beauty and simplicity of the idea that we are only playing around on the foothills of this genius, and no real criticism of the clip-on stalk concept has been offered.
pottedstu, Aug 05 2002
  

       I can't begin to tell you how many times I've needed one of these in the past couple of months. chard, what do you have in stock for help with coconut shells?
Susen, Aug 05 2002
  

       Susen: I can't tell you what to use for coconuts - but I can tell you definitely what NOT to use. Any sort of conventional firearm. When hit by even a small calibre round (.22 LR), coconuts explode, flinging lethal, sharp edged shrapnel in all directions. And no, this isn't one of FarmerJohn's ideas, and no, I was not personally responsible for this foolishness; I was merely an interested observer, right up to the point where I had to dive for cover. Needless to say, the idea if the "combination minature rifle range and coconut shy" for the local summer carnival never got past the feasibility study. Aslo, having to take someone into the local A&E unit and explain that they have been wounded by an exploding coconut does one's street cred no good at all. Frankly, they laugh, despite the fact that the victim has a significant number of deep, painful cuts and is still losing blood (fortunately he was wearing safety glasses).
8th of 7, Aug 06 2002
  

       //This renders the banana almost impossible to open without utilising a piece of kitchen equipment such as a knife...//   

       Or an emrgancy clip on banana stalk
Gulherme, Aug 06 2002
  

       that coconut story sounds like a thing I read the other day about a bystander who got shrapnel wounds from a bus or shopping centre bomber in Jerusalem; they checked out the shrapnel and it turned out to be bone fragments. So now they vaccinate survivors for hepatitis B and suchlike, but delicate viruses like HIV are more difficult to test from bone fragments.
sappho, Aug 06 2002
  

       UnaBubba: About 3 metres. The projectile went throught the coconut and stopped safely in the sandbag backstop he had set up. I think he'd made the mistake of using a hollow point round just because it happend to come to hand first, which perhaps accounted for the spectacular disintegration of the coconut. He got minor cuts on his arms and face from bits of shell; we were standing about five metres behind him and off to one side. It may have been something to do with the coconut; we had been given them by a local store because they were "past their sell-by date". We tried an .22 air rifle later and that was OK; the coconuts just cracked, or fell off the post with small holes in them. The idea was abandoned because of the risk from ricochets.
8th of 7, Aug 06 2002
  

       7/8 has Afro's dream job - saaaaay - AfroAssault i_s looking for woik...
thumbwax, Aug 06 2002
  

       <<strolling up to the bar>> 'gimme a Bliss cocktail, make it a double, and hold the firearms...hey, bliss, you want one too?
Susen, Aug 06 2002
  

       My brothers and I screwed together metal pipes that, loaded with a firecracker and then a rock, made great pistols. We battled among the strip coal ridges without ever losing an eye. After I've used one to open a banana, I'm gonna have a shot of Bliss booze with banana.
FarmerJohn, Aug 06 2002
  

       FarmerJohn: what did you use for an ignition source ? matches ? lighters ? or one of your stupid damnfool lightning rods, eh ? <bitter bitter bitter>   

       UnaBubba: While on vacation, I visited Ieper (Ypres) in Flanders. A very unique experience. I believe your "fractured skull" anecdote; there are many records of similar (indeed, even more bizarre) injuries; it took two years for His Majesty's Government to work out it might be a good idea to issue their troops with steel helmets......   

       You were lucky with the Mossberg. Think of it as evolution at work.
8th of 7, Aug 06 2002
  

       can I have Nicole Kidman instead? <wink>
Susen, Aug 06 2002
  

       UB, 7/8, there is a similar story in 'Regeneration' which is one of the trilogy by Pat Barker loosely based around Siegfried Sassoon and Wilfred Owen's story in WW1; while at the psychatric hospital in Scotland after making his conscientious objection, Sassoon meets a chap who can't eat, can't sleep, etc etc. It turns out that he woke from unconsciousness on some battlefield in northern France, with his head buried in the mud; he'd been thrown some distance. Except it wasn't mud, and his face was in the rotting abdominal flesh of an enormous wound in a man.
sappho, Aug 06 2002
  

       I gotta get in on this "making projectile launchers" thing..   

       When just a lad, and natural selection through homemade explosives was still considered entertainment, a friend and I made a AA battery launcher from a plastic snorkel plugged with hot glue, and a wee charge of smokeless powder.. the first shot was incredible, but the second exploded the tube and sent sharp plastic pieces flying everywhere- luckily not into anyone's eyes..
Mr Burns, Aug 06 2002
  

       Some kid I used to know got his kicks locking shotgun shells in a vice, pointing them down a length of cast iron drain piping and bashing the end with a hammer. Its amazing he lived as long as he did. He eventually got sent to a secure school on the basis of shooting another kid in the back with an air rifle. Not much of a crime really, it barely broke the skin, but he was unfortunate enough to come before the children's' panel three days after Dunblane. Unlucky, but in the end, probably safer for himself and everyone unfortunate enough to know him.
namaste, Aug 06 2002
  

       thcgenius: Almost all young males seem to go through this phase. But there is a certain amount of "attrition", depending on how successful they are ......   

       I would suggest the following: Get a licence. Get a real gun. Go somewhere safe and fire it at something valueless and expendable (politicians are agood choice). Do this many times. See how much dama ge it does. Look hard at how well engineered it is and how thick the metal is. Understand the physics, the mechanics and the risks. Search the web and take a look at what blast and projectile injuries do to the human body. Go somewhere quiet and think very very hard about what is involved. Then, and only then, you can start very small (using compressed air or CO2 as a power source) and try making a potato gun or similar - plans are on the Web. Don't try using deflagrants or propellants as a power source until you have a lot of experience (& preferably, formal training). Even, then, start small, and be CAREFUL. I make mistakes from time to time but these days I stand far enough away to be spared the worst of the consequences. It is quite possible to do this sort of thing - and have lots of fun - without harming yourself, or anyone else, very much.   

       BUT: <lecture> Bear in mind that it's quite hard to type in your next HalfBakery idea when you've lost not only your eyesight but also most of your fingers. This really happens. It is not funny. </lecture> Good luck.
8th of 7, Aug 06 2002
  

       8th: Too late, I've been making spud cannons for years. I think you think I am younger than I am. I'm no stranger to shooting objects of all shapes and sizes with high powered large caliber firearms.   

       The crowd favorite is a pneumatic spudgun with a 6 foot 1 1/2" barrel. At 85 PSI, it can launch potatoes up to 1/2 mile or more.. (they always go out of sight, so I really don't know how far they go.. it's really far and it kicks like a mule on PCP..) Yes, I still have all 10 fingers.   

       I was about 11 when the plastic snorkel battery launcher was created.. that was over 15 years ago. I can't tell you how many other "launchers" have been created by friends or myself, but the best one (actually nicknamed "The Darwin Cannon") wound up shooting an extremely powerful explosive projectile about 2000 feet into the air. Because of the potential for death and/or dismemberment, I won't give any details about how it worked or what it actually fired. Testing was performed in extremely desolate northern section of my home state. Reports from other campers indicated that it could be heard quite loudly for about 10 miles in every direction. The details have been removed to protect the ignorant. PLEASE do not try this one at home, kids.
Mr Burns, Aug 06 2002
  

       putting you behind the bar might be a good start.
sappho, Aug 07 2002
  

       thcgenius: Please don't think I'm trying to be patronising, I was writing with one eye on the fact that lots of people might read this page and a bit of sensible advice can go a long way. Experience has shown me that if someone is set on doing soething dangerous, they'll do it anyway, so the best hope is to persuade them to do it reasonably safely. You'll never stop them .....   

       My "spud gun" fires tennis balls for the dog to retrieve. Great fun on the beach.   

       The "Darwin Cannon" sounds mighty impressive !   

       <on topic> I'll have a Banana Split with extra cream, chocolate sauce, and crushed nuts ...... </on topic>
8th of 7, Aug 07 2002
  

       Me and some mates recently made a orange gun that shot lemons so far that you would loose sight of them before they hit the ground, that was COOL. We could sit up at his house and shoot our old school without being detected.
Gulherme, Aug 07 2002
  

       UB, I'm 'history' just from having read that. why is it not friday yet?!
sappho, Aug 07 2002
  

       Some mates and I recently made an orange gun........
NickTheGreat, Aug 07 2002
  

       Gulherme: Tip - keep some oranges for a while until they shrivel a little. Fresh oranges don't stand up to hight accelerations, they tend to rupture in the barrel. A slightly older and dried out orange is smaller (easier to geta consistent fit in the bore, and a better gas seal) but still goes SPLAT satisfactorily when it hits the target. They tend to be heavier than tennis balls so have more short-range "whack" , but don't travel as far.   

       Lemons don't tend to make good projectiles in my experience, they can jam in the barrel.   

       Not that I've ever done this, you understand. That broken greenhouse window was nothing to do with me ....   

       Also, if you cut a short lenght of the same pipe you made the barrel from, you can use it as a cutter to make potato bullets. Let them dry just a little after you cut them, then they fit better when loading. (Jaycloths make good wadding).
8th of 7, Aug 07 2002
  

       I suggest you address that to [Gulherme]. I was merely doing my civic duty of correcting his grammar.
NickTheGreat, Aug 07 2002
  

       UB: oh! your honour...
sappho, Aug 07 2002
  

       Nick: apologies - anno corrected.
8th of 7, Aug 07 2002
  

       linky.
DrBob, Jul 08 2009
  

       This must be marketable - it transcends genius, and borders on divine. [+]
coprocephalous, Jul 09 2009
  

       Dr.Bob not only did I think you were a handy-dandy man to have around, that link proves it. Hahahha. You learn something new every day. Plus I got to read the comments on this which were perfect medicine today.
blissmiss, Jul 10 2009
  
      
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