h a l f b a k e r yThis would work fine, except in terms of success.
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A model of the F-117 fighter sized to fit in a domestic microwave oven. Black in colour, made of the same materials as a real F-117. Has a waterproof bottom half and a removable lid. The tailplanes are the handle.
Planar design efficiently reflects or absorbs all incident radar energy, thus contents
stay cold no matter how long it's cooked for.
May cause microwave oven to explode.
Guaranteed to break the ice at parties (unless placed inside the F-117 cookware).
Why is there no category Cookery:Prank ?
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You'll have to wait until tomorrow for our next Christmas-themed idea. |
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I am moist with anticipation. It's sort of like an advent
calendar, only much less good. |
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<Wonders if [MB] will really like the Christmas present set of jewel encrusted half-metre high outdoor chess pieces in solid gold and platinum, or think them merely ostentatious/> |
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Oh how lovely! I'll put them with the others. |
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We'll give them to Sturton, then. We'll get you some of those nice Christmas socks that are on sale in Primark ... or was it TKMaxx ? |
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We understand from anecdotal evidence that it is a retail establishment employing exclusively zombies as floor staff, and based on the dubious premise that with the right marketing there's no lower limit to the dire, useless rubbish that the proles will pay actual money for in return for the privelege of being allowed to take it away in a plastic carrier bag of greater value and utility than the item purchased. |
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Alarmingly, this seems to work. |
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Good grief. Sounds as bad as Fortnums. |
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I wonder if he means TJ Maxx, or PJ Masks, which is
how the zombies are zombified at early ages... |
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How much vantablack is required to paint it? |
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We could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you. |
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It's worse ... much, much worse. Rumor has it that they actually allow people who don't even have peerages to enter the premises. |
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Horrific, but quite possibly true. |
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//Has a waterproof bottom |
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Always reassuring to know. |
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//who don't even have peerages to enter the premises |
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How about Brighton Pier, the second cousin of Brighton
Early? |
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Do they accept Patents of Ignobility? |
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Those are, like, really highly polished shoes, right ? The sort that Hercule Poirot wears ? |
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The easy way to make a cool handled dish is to make the handles out of something that does not heat in a microwave, the other way is to cover the handles with tiny less than a mm diamonds and rhombii the reflect away the microwaves just like a stealth airplane. |
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Note the little holes in the screen on the front of the microwave window are about the size of the little diamonds. |
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Actually, that mesh you look through in the microwave oven door is not a "screen" - it's only an attenuator. There's still a substantial amount of microwave energy that passes through, albeit in a diffuse form. |
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Standing in front of an operating microwave oven, peering closely at the item being heated, is highly inadvisable; damage to the corneas of the eyes, and cataracts in the lenses, are likely outcomes. |
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The best design would be to make the entire front of the door into an LCD touchscreen, with a couple of internal cameras to show the food while cooking (which has been suggested elsewhere on the HB). The current design is very much a compromise ... |
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"F-117 microwave cookware" - wasn't that the
poorly-received 'B'-side of Sigue Sigue Sputnik's "Love
Missile
F1-11"? |
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