Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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F-117 microwave cookware

Stealthy
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A model of the F-117 fighter sized to fit in a domestic microwave oven. Black in colour, made of the same materials as a real F-117. Has a waterproof bottom half and a removable lid. The tailplanes are the handle.

Planar design efficiently reflects or absorbs all incident radar energy, thus contents stay cold no matter how long it's cooked for.

May cause microwave oven to explode.

Guaranteed to break the ice at parties (unless placed inside the F-117 cookware).

Why is there no category Cookery:Prank ?

8th of 7, Dec 13 2018

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       Meh. Needs more Santa.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2018
  

       You'll have to wait until tomorrow for our next Christmas-themed idea.
8th of 7, Dec 13 2018
  

       I am moist with anticipation. It's sort of like an advent calendar, only much less good.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2018
  

       <Wonders if [MB] will really like the Christmas present set of jewel encrusted half-metre high outdoor chess pieces in solid gold and platinum, or think them merely ostentatious/>
8th of 7, Dec 13 2018
  

       Oh how lovely! I'll put them with the others.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2018
  

       Oh, you have some ?   

       We'll give them to Sturton, then. We'll get you some of those nice Christmas socks that are on sale in Primark ... or was it TKMaxx ?
8th of 7, Dec 13 2018
  

       What on earth is TK?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2018
  

       We understand from anecdotal evidence that it is a retail establishment employing exclusively zombies as floor staff, and based on the dubious premise that with the right marketing there's no lower limit to the dire, useless rubbish that the proles will pay actual money for in return for the privelege of being allowed to take it away in a plastic carrier bag of greater value and utility than the item purchased.   

       Alarmingly, this seems to work.
8th of 7, Dec 13 2018
  

       Good grief. Sounds as bad as Fortnums.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2018
  

       I wonder if he means TJ Maxx, or PJ Masks, which is how the zombies are zombified at early ages...   

       How much vantablack is required to paint it?
RayfordSteele, Dec 14 2018
  

       We could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you.   

       // bad as Fortnums //   

       It's worse ... much, much worse. Rumor has it that they actually allow people who don't even have peerages to enter the premises.   

       Horrific, but quite possibly true.
8th of 7, Dec 14 2018
  

       //Has a waterproof bottom   

       Always reassuring to know.   

       //who don't even have peerages to enter the premises   

       How about Brighton Pier, the second cousin of Brighton Early?
not_morrison_rm, Dec 15 2018
  

       Do they accept Patents of Ignobility?
21 Quest, Dec 15 2018
  

       Those are, like, really highly polished shoes, right ? The sort that Hercule Poirot wears ?
8th of 7, Dec 16 2018
  

       Patent faux leather?
21 Quest, Dec 17 2018
  

       The easy way to make a cool handled dish is to make the handles out of something that does not heat in a microwave, the other way is to cover the handles with tiny less than a mm diamonds and rhombii the reflect away the microwaves just like a stealth airplane.   

       Note the little holes in the screen on the front of the microwave window are about the size of the little diamonds.
beanangel, Jan 02 2020
  

       Actually, that mesh you look through in the microwave oven door is not a "screen" - it's only an attenuator. There's still a substantial amount of microwave energy that passes through, albeit in a diffuse form.   

       Standing in front of an operating microwave oven, peering closely at the item being heated, is highly inadvisable; damage to the corneas of the eyes, and cataracts in the lenses, are likely outcomes.   

       The best design would be to make the entire front of the door into an LCD touchscreen, with a couple of internal cameras to show the food while cooking (which has been suggested elsewhere on the HB). The current design is very much a compromise ...
8th of 7, Jan 03 2020
  

       "F-117 microwave cookware" - wasn't that the poorly-received 'B'-side of Sigue Sigue Sputnik's "Love Missile F1-11"?
hippo, Jan 03 2020
  
      
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