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Exploding Pigeons

Pest control with a bonus
  (+4, -5)
(+4, -5)
  [vote for,

Right, they're airborne rats and get everywhere. Crap everywhere too. Now - never mind exploding statues (link below), we can detonate the actual pigeons and create a new city centre eating culture.

Every statue has a magnetic coil on its protuberances. The pigeons are fed grain containing Semtex (or C4) and a microdetonator. The detonator is activated by the magenetic coil when the bird lands on the statue and boom, one ex-pigeon.

Now. . . It doesn't go off like an atom bomb. The charge is big enough to 'end' the bird but small enough not to splatter it all over the shop. It will fall to earth, whole, ready to be skinned and cooked in a 'Pigeon Grill' located near the statue.

These new grills deal expressly with pigeon. The avian will be thouroughly cleaned and cooked through (dealing with any nasty bugs and so on). Pigeon Pie/Burgers/Wraps and Nuggets will be cheap sustinance to the masses and might probably taste better than a Big Mac.

Kettch, Mar 18 2001

Taliban Statues http://www.halfbake...a/Taliban_20Statues
Street Furniture that makes a crater. [Kettch, Mar 18 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Automatic Pigeon Gun-turrets http://www.halfbake...igeon_20Gun-turrets
Another "death to pigeons" idea. [egnor, Mar 18 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Homing Pigeon http://worms.strate...iefing.shtml#pigeon
The homing pigeon from Worms Armageddon explodes upon hitting its desired target [Parvenu, Oct 17 2004]

pigeon litter patrol http://www.halfbake...n_20litter_20patrol
[etherman, Oct 17 2004]

Sodium Party http://www.theodore...able/Stories/011.2/
Don't get any in your eye! [Dub, Aug 22 2005]


       a young guy who lived across the road from me, told me about how he liked to kill seagulls, and this process i assume would work with pigeons. common aspirin supposedly is deadly to their systems and a carefully placed pill inside a 'chip' or similar bird morsel does the trick. I havent tried it, but a packet of 20 headache tablets and minimum chips should help keep the noise down for a while.   

       He also told me about baiting steak with petrol for naughty puppies, but i guess if your'e in the uk you wouldnt have to bait steak anyway. ..
benfrost, Mar 19 2001

       benfrost: Aspirin? I believe it is actually alka-seltzer. Since they can't excrete gas, it builds up and eventually hemmorrages their innards. Not very pleasant. I like kettch's idea better for it's relative speed.
UnaBubba: pigeons are smart enough (or adapted enough) to put their nests in places people don't frequent, such as the supports of a bridge.
kettch: you had me right up to the "but small enough not to spatter the bird" part. Can this be optional? Also, I only say this because if I don't someone else will, but what do you mean by "protuberances?"
nick_n_uit, Mar 19 2001

       I wonder whether the sound of seagulls dying from gas pains is really better than the noises they otherwise produce.   

       I've heard that the only effective approach to bird control uses hundreds of millions of Chinese peasants banging on pots and pans. I'm interested in developing a kit based on this approach; just need Capital.
Monkfish, Mar 19 2001

       I liiike it, Unabubba. Personally, I feed pigeons a Tabasco seasoned mix. Highly entertaining.
thumbwax, Mar 19 2001

       I have these vague memories of days long gone by doing the same thing with a june bug, waugs. I didn't actually participate as I found it rather distasteful, but I did see it performed, and would imagine that it could be done with pigeons just as easily.
absterge, Mar 19 2001

       Just kinky pigeons, more likely.
beauxeault, Mar 19 2001

       Seriously, I believe there is something odd about pigeons, and have for some time. Maybe, when the apocalypse comes, it will the pigeons who will coo, "So long, and thanks for all the crumbs...", or maybe they are watching us for a higher intelligence, the avian equivalent of the monolith from 2001. Maybe they ARE the higher intelligence, and are just biding their time, invading our cities, taking our bread ready to invade with thermo-guano bombs when the time is right. But that's just me...
Skybird, Mar 19 2001

       Try feeding them calcium carbide, when mixed with the water in their crop carbide will generate acetylene gas cuasing them to explode, actually seen this done with shit hawks (seagulls). A certain party threw carbide into the air where gulls being greedy buggers caught it, what followed was quite entertaining in sick sort of way
xsian, Mar 23 2001

       Great idea! Skip the burgers and stuff. The first part will do!   

pigeonsmakemesick, Jan 19 2003

       [xsian] forget calcium carbide, sodium chunks are much more entertaining. Believe me i know; my neighbours are psychotic!
Urban_kayaker, Mar 24 2003

       No no no, your all wrong. The only true bird pest control method is me with my modified air pistol...I live in a coastal village and have plenty of shit hawks to experiment on, and nothing is more effective and efficient as me with my pistol at killing seagulls or pigeons...or anything else for that matter >:)   

       See, air pistol pellets are soft lead riiiiight, so they bounce off, this is where it gets complicated, you drill a 2mm hole in the tip of the pellet, and slide one of those thin 1 inch nail/carpet tack through the hole, voila your air gun has just became 10x more lethal...to anything.
Peregrine Falcon, Jun 29 2004

       Hi, im new and want to say Try new Ma ' Greffals exploding bread! I know how to make bread, i want it to explode, how?
genisis24, Aug 25 2004

       the best pigeon control seems to be my new next door neighbors that just recently arrived from China ever since they moved in no more pigeons, I do find a lot of feathers blowing around in the wind now though.
mawgadog, Aug 22 2005

       I'm not generally a big fan of killing animals, since they were here first and all.   

       That said, this is a vastly superior idea to blowing them up with alka-seltzer, and perhaps poisoning, since I'm sure that's rather painful. I know the A-S method must be. Kudos for that, but wouldn't it be easier just to trap them? The durned things congregate on every statue, it can't be that hard to throw a net.   

shapu, Aug 22 2005


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