Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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pig*eon

kablooey
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seeds + itsby bitsy eensy weensy little tiny in(di)gestible mines = *really* spectacular explosion = completely incinerated pigeon/2
thumbwax, Apr 10 2002

(???) Here you go sappho http://www.halfbake...usical_20Curriculum
[mcscotland, Apr 11 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       <sulks> I wanted a *nicer* life for them. your cruel streak is showing again. what am I to do with all my carefully-engineered softer pavements now?
po, Apr 10 2002
  

       Well, it won't be raining cats and dogs....
phoenix, Apr 10 2002
  

       Oh, yes!
angel, Apr 10 2002
  

       My word, I would *so* love to see this implemented. Those darn pigeons are a total nuisance.
salachair, Apr 10 2002
  

       Only down side I can see is its far more therapeutic kicking the bastards to death yourself.
mcscotland, Apr 10 2002
  

       Aye, mcscotland, but if you try to do that, you run the risk of the flea-infested monsters flying up into your face. Yukyukyuk. Think I'd rather blow them up, thanks.
salachair, Apr 10 2002
  

       I thought this was going to be about a time When Pigs Ruled the Earth.
beauxeault, Apr 10 2002
  

       I think this is already baked. I keep finding ex-pigeons in my backyard, a few of them with wings missing.   

       I think my neighbor is shooting them off his roof.
waugsqueke, Apr 10 2002
  

       [phoenix] is right, bring a heavy duty umbrella. What is the clean up plan? This would lead to messy sidewalks, more rats. Unless the seed were so devastating they completely incinerated the birdies.
dag, Apr 10 2002
  

       yeah, but once we've dealt with the pigeons (excepting, of course, the ones on Pigeon Street) we can deal with the rats. And then the chihuahuas. And then the children! Bwahahahahaha!
calum, Apr 10 2002
  

       [calum], you're a man after my own heart!
angel, Apr 11 2002
  

       Cleanup? This could help solve depleted food bank shelves. We give the homeless plates so they can simply wait around parks, plate in hand, to catch the thoroughly-cooked remains as they waft earthward. A veritable outdoor feast! Kinda like a picnic without the ants.   

       And Granny's annoying little budgie might find some special seeds in the feed tray one morning. KABLOOEY! (yes, thumbwax, my spell-checker agrees, that's the right spelling) No more, "who's a pretty bird, who's a pretty bird, who's a pretty bird.........."
Canuck, Apr 11 2002
  

       Polly want a (fire)cracker?
FarmerJohn, Apr 11 2002
  

       I thought the (slightly adapted) Tom Lehrer classic might be appropriate here:   

       Spring is here, spring is here,
Life is croissants, and life is (custard) beer.
I think the loveliest time of the year is the Spring, I do.
Don't you? Course you do!
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me,
And makes every Sunday a treat for me...
  

       All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon,
When we're exploding pigeons in the park.
Every Sunday you'll see my sweetheart and me
As we explode the pigeons in the park.
When they see us coming, the birdies all try and hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated in dynamite.
The sun's shining bright, everything seems alight,
When we're exploding pigeons in the park.
  

       We've gained notoriety, and caused much anxiety,
In halfbaked society with our games.
They call it impiety and lack of propriety,
And quite a variety of unpleasant names.
But it's not against any religion,
To want to dispose of a pigeon!
  

       So if Sunday you're free, why don't you come with me,
And we'll explode the pigeons in the park.
And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two, while we explode the pigeons in the park.
We'll murder them all amidst laughter and merriment,
Except for the few we take home to experiment.
My pulse will be quickening with each drop of nitroglycerine
We feed to a pigeon - it just takes a smidgeon
To explode a pigeon in the park.
st3f, Apr 11 2002
  

       anyone know where to get a recording of the Tom Lehrer version of the Periodic table? (the one that was done to 'model of a modern major general' from Pirates of P by Gilb+Sulliv.?)
sappho, Apr 11 2002
  

       I've posted a link before. See link.
mcscotland, Apr 11 2002
  

       So what will you do with doves of peace? Impose sanctions? U.N. resolution?
FarmerJohn, Apr 11 2002
  

       thanks mcscotland
sappho, Apr 11 2002
  

       I recently discovered that an erstwhile colleague of my father claimed to have baked this fine notion. He would take pieces of bread, somewhat larger than sugar-cube-sized, and stuff them with baking-powder. After ingestion by the subject of his (our) loathing, the bread would dis-constitute (and if that's not a word, it ought to be), the baking powder would contact the digestive acids of the flying vermin, rapid evolution of CO2 would occur, and said vermin would explode in many, many pieces. Oh, how we laughed! Personally, I don't believe a word of it, but we can dream.
angel, May 20 2002
  

       he had been licking too many frogs if you ask me.
po, May 20 2002
  

       Actually Angel there is sound logic behind that. Birds have no capacity to belch, so anything that gets inside them and reacts to produce a reasonable amount of gas WILL certainly cause them fatal internal injuries, and maybe result in rupturing the stomach. I've heard of similar stories involving soluble asprin or alkaseltzer - not particularly humane though...
ScepticAL, Nov 26 2002
  

       ..but effective *and* funny.
angel, Nov 26 2002
  

       Yes, but to whom?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Oct 03 2008
  

       come back wax - we miss U!
po, Oct 03 2008
  

       I'd make them remote mines, then you can simply wait until they've all landed before detonating. Or wait until they've all taken off, if you'd rather see a big mess...   

       Personally I was expecting some sort of pig-pigeon hybrid.   

       //Polly want a (fire)cracker?// marked-for-tagline
Bukkakinator, Oct 05 2008
  
      
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