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Explosive Reactive Siding

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If you've ever been awoken at 6:00 am by a woodpecker hell-bent on boring a hole through the side of your house, ostensibly with the aim of building a nest inside the wall where it can lay eggs which will hatch into MORE woodpeckers INSIDE your wall, you will understand the absolute necessity of this invention.

PETA can kiss my ass.

21 Quest, Mar 25 2015

Are there no brickpeckers? http://4.bp.blogspo.../s1600/IMG_3197.JPG
The makers of these holes would ventilate your masonry [lurch, Mar 25 2015]

Not the brick, no: http://animals.pawn...ow-mortar-8598.html
[MechE, Mar 25 2015]

So, the opposite of this, then? https://xkcd.com/614/
[pertinax, Mar 29 2015]

[link]






       [+]
8th of 7, Mar 25 2015
  

       A couple of coats with a solution of silver fulminate should do the trick.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 25 2015
  

       I thought they generally nested in the same places they found food. In other words, if they're digging into your wall, it's because you've got bugs.
MechE, Mar 25 2015
  

       I had a woodpecker pecking at my window a few years back.
I was just excited at seeing a woodpecker.
  

       Admittedly, it didn't keep coming back at 6 am. At least, I don't think it did; I do sleep quite well.
Loris, Mar 25 2015
  

       At 6:00 AM? The songbirds at my place go off at 5:00, I'll trade you.
normzone, Mar 25 2015
  

       The bugs at least keep the noise down, so on that basis they're better roommates than the birds. I've never heard bugs making a racket at 6 am. The bugs don't bother me because they STAY in the walls. That damn woodpecker, though... I seriously thought someone was hammering on the outside wall of my house, or possibly my neighbor hammering on the wall nearest mine.
21 Quest, Mar 25 2015
  

       Build your house out of something sensible. There's no such thing as a brickpecker.
bs0u0155, Mar 25 2015
  

       If your house isn't infested, then the woodpecker is just using it as sounding board as the loudest thing around. The one that makes a racket first thing in the morning here uses the metal streetlight out front.   

       Try sticking one of those plastic owls near that spot.   

       Time to Bake the Scaregrine Falcon, methinks...
21 Quest, Mar 25 2015
  

       Yeah, it might be one of those spring mate-seeking rituals...   

       " Hey baby ! Check it out ! I can beat my head against the wall faster and louder than all the other boys - you want to have my babies ! "
normzone, Mar 25 2015
  

       //That damn woodpecker, though... I seriously thought someone was hammering on the outside wall of my house, or possibly my neighbor hammering on the wall nearest mine.   

       If I were your neighbor I would hammer on your walls when I saw woodpeckers around.   

       We get squirrel play at 6AM and racoons sleeping on top of skylights. It's nature, enjoy it.
the porpoise, Mar 25 2015
  

       // It's nature, enjoy it. //   

       ... by killing it, then roasting it slowly over an open wood fire.
8th of 7, Mar 26 2015
  

       My thoughts exactly, 8th.
21 Quest, Mar 26 2015
  

       Get yourself a cat
pashute, Mar 29 2015
  

       What [the porpoise] said.
blissmiss, Mar 29 2015
  

       You could go the opposite way [21Q]. Cover your siding with a viscous coating - something along the lines of bitumen. The woodpecker gets tries to peck at it and immediately gets stuck, providing a layer of feathery insulation against sound and heat transfer. Sort of a La Brea Tar Pits effect replete with everchanging art display.
AusCan531, Mar 29 2015
  

       // Get yourself a cat //   

       Good idea ... can go straight over the open fire, no need to kill it first.   

       Won't do much to stop the woodpeckers, though...
8th of 7, Mar 29 2015
  

       The north-east orangery was once overrun by gemsbok. Turned out they were living in the skirting.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 30 2015
  

       Murdering God's little creatures [+]
Voice, Mar 31 2015
  

       It's much less murder than it is assisted suicide. Think of it as death with dignity for nature's little creatures.
21 Quest, Mar 31 2015
  

       //Cover your siding with a viscous coating - something along the lines of bitumen.//   

       That non-drying anti-vandal paint should do the job. That stuff never comes out of clothes/feathers
bs0u0155, Mar 31 2015
  
      
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