Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Explosive helmet execution

Painless and unknowable death by random-detonation explosive helmet
  (+3, -14)(+3, -14)
(+3, -14)
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So... different methods of execution for the death penalty... I've always thought the lethal injection is one of the LEAST humane of them all, because the process, to the condemned, is so REAL and in your face. That guy in Utah last month had the option of choosing his method of execution, and he chose firing range. I would have chosen the same thing. With lethal injection, they put you through a whole process where You KNOW you are about to die. You have to THINK about it. You know that when the anesthetic puts you to sleep, that is the LAST time you will ever fall asleep. It's just such a mindf*ck. That's got to be TERRIFYING and HORRIBLE. It's all so slow - they take you to a room, lie you on a bed, then two guards hold you down firmly (for safety) the entire time. I would much rather be shot by a bunch of bullets, or even just one. The noise and the pain would be distracting, so you wouldn't have to think so hard about your own terrifying, immediate mortality.

But the best way to die would be an instantaneous death, where my consciousness ends in a split second, and that I never see coming. That's why I propose the explosive helmet. It's a helmet you wear full of explosives. When the explosives go off your entire brain blows into a bunch of pieces in a split second, covering the instant-consciousness-ending aspect. And the helmet is detonated either by a random timer, or one of the guards at some random time. So they put this helmet on you, and place you in a special cell/yard with plenty of magazines and a TV and a recreation area. They let you just live and chill out and one day randomly it's BAM! and you're gone. It's just completely random, I don't have to worry about thinking about my death so much. Maybe when you first put the helmet on, but eventually you'll watch an episode of Invader Zim or see a cool article in National Geographic and get distracted doing your own thing from then on. You would of course give the condemned a few days of life, or even weeks. But the helmet will detonate eventually. And they can't take the helmet off, so maybe the bed's pillow has to be specially designed. Or maybe they can just take the helmet off at night, and the helmet is detonated one day. Some perks in the special area would be a phone, so you can call friends and relatives, and whatever kind of food you want. And you could eat as much as you want because, hey, you're going to die anyway.

I would much rather be put to death like this, if I were to be.

EdwinBakery, Sep 29 2010

Makes for a very economical jucicial system. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Anome
[mouseposture, Sep 29 2010]


       I love this idea. My idea was death by a 50 caliber gin (edit: gun too) pointed at the prisoner's head for the same reasons but your addition of the element of being distracted makes it even more humane. Bravo!
Voice, Sep 29 2010

       I'm abstaining from this but i suppose that it could go either way. It could be seen as a long, drawn-out death or a more humane penalty, and i think this would depend on the character of the victim. I'm not sure how similar murderers are to each other in character, but if they are, that might give a clue as to how they might experience this.
nineteenthly, Sep 29 2010

       [Edwin]//And you could eat as much as you want because, hey, you're going to die anyway.//   

       You do know this is true for *everybody*, don't you?   

       I do not think Nat'l Geographic would distract me from the fact that I have a bomb on my head...not even those old issues with the naked ladies.   

       Why not give National Geographic to the lethal injection candidates and distract them during injection?
Boomershine, Sep 29 2010

       hmm... should be allowed to roam around with other inmates at least, and a helmet mounted webcam to give the executioner enough room for dramatic/comedic flair.
FlyingToaster, Sep 29 2010

       //you just live and chill out// - while wearing an explosive helmet?!!!
hippo, Sep 29 2010

       //I would much rather be put to death like this, if I were to be// - doesn't that rather undermine the whole deterrant argument for having the penalty in the first place? Look, it's all a bit paradoxical, really... trying to kill someone in a humane way yet punish them at the same time and prove that the murder they committed in the first place was the wrong thing to do... because it was less humane and not done by the state.
jamobaker, Sep 29 2010

       [marked-for-deletion] cruelty.
DrBob, Sep 29 2010

       There was an SF story about a future where everyone had a small explosive implant placed in their brains at birth. Inheritances were eliminated. The government gave you a fat bank account when you reached majority, but after that, if you ever went bankrupt, the explosive went off.
ldischler, Sep 29 2010

       // [marked-for-deletion] cruelty //   

       I think that's arguable. The intention is to make it less cruel and i think cruelty has to be either due to deliberate intention or to negligence.
nineteenthly, Sep 29 2010

       From the m-f-d help page:-


       "cruelty - the idea is a new way of torturing or killing a person or an animal for pleasure or revenge. For example new, more painful ways of executing prisoners; or ways to booby-trap one's home to maim burglars.
DrBob, Sep 29 2010

       My personal opinion is that I don't care if it's cruel. I just watched "Law Abiding Citizen" and I think they got it right, but for the sake of review of the idea, I will sidestep that for now.   

       The attempt at lack of cruelty here fails. As [Hippo] points out, if you know that the helmet will kill you then the threat of death starts then, you are just substituting the strapping to a table with strapping on a helmet. If this worked then all we'd need to do in the present system is to strap someone to table in such a way that they can watch TV. Ah, no.(-)   

       If you wanted to remove the cruelty, just let him go about his business as usual and when it is time have a sniper blow his head off, or wait till he falls asleep and give him lethal injection.
MisterQED, Sep 29 2010

       Explosives [+].
8th of 7, Sep 29 2010

       Everyone should be fitted with one. The explosive charge should be triggered in a formal TV-show phone in contest which would replace a court of law in the event of criminal or civil charges being pressed. More than a set percentage of call-ins in favour of execution would trigger the device live on TV.
pocmloc, Sep 29 2010

       We are all wearing those helmets. We are born with them on.
bungston, Sep 29 2010

       With random detonators.
Boomershine, Sep 29 2010

       I can never emplace a bangalore torpedo without contemplating building a lincoln-log house out of bangalore torpedos and initiating it from the inside.   

       Kind of the same thing.
MikeD, Sep 29 2010

       // a lincoln-log house out of bangalore torpedos //   

       <Prepares to worship [MikeD] as a God>
8th of 7, Sep 29 2010

       The torpedo house would be a cool thing for a movie. I envision it built at the junction of beach and jungle. Not much need be said. The builder (perhaps an avatar of the Buddha?) could note that it "keeps me in the moment".
bungston, Sep 29 2010

       //<Prepares to worship [MikeD] as a God>//   

       I require five worshipings daily. Please orientate your self in the direction of my location. Check my tweets for updates on my position throughout the day.   

       ...Thus sayeth MikeD
MikeD, Sep 30 2010

       Is a Bangalore Torpedo anything like a Bombay Duck?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 30 2010

       The military "Bangalore Torpedo" is a tubular interlockable linear charge whose detonating force is mostly directed perpindicular to the longitudinal axis.   

       The Bolivian "Bangalore Torpedo" will cost you $15 USD, and a detailed discription of the mechanics of it's performance is not appropriate for this site.
MikeD, Sep 30 2010

       //Is a Bangalore Torpedo anything like a Bombay Duck?//   

       It's essentially a bomb on a stick, so it's more like Lollipop Chicken, only with exploding chicken.
zen_tom, Sep 30 2010

       It's a bomb in a pipe, designed to cut wire entanglements. They can be screwed together so you can make a long one from a number of segments, to cut a broader entanglement.   

       You'll see one in use in the opening scenes of Saving Private Ryan, as they prepare to assault the pillbox overlooking the beach.
infidel, Sep 30 2010

       "Bangalore Torpedos" would be an awesome name for an Indian rock band.
smendler, Jul 25 2014

       Yes, they'd be a blast ...
8th of 7, Jul 25 2014

       I've never read "The Anome" linked above, and I pride myself on my Jack Vance collection. I'll have to hunt that one up.   

       He must have been amused by such things - he referenced another method of execution for criminals in a different book - a long, deep, slanted concrete trench. The convicted criminal would be placed at one end of it.   

       A wheel-like stone would be set rolling from the upper end of the trench, and when it reached the other end it would crush the occupant of the trench.   

       There were always complaints about the time it took to reset the device for the next criminal in line, and even about it's reliability - occasionally the stone would get stuck in the trench part way down the track.
normzone, Jul 25 2014


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