Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The opposite of Face Unlock
  [vote for,

This is basically an idea to fill in a glaring gap in smartphone and laptop security. If you put your device down or walk away from it without manually pressing the power button or closing the lid to lock it down, depending on your timeout setting it could be sitting there exposed for several minutes before you get back to it. So the idea is that the phone can detect when it has been put down and walked away from, or likely forcibly taken from your grasp, but rather than disobey your timeout preference needlessly, it simply scans for a familiar face the next time it is picked up or looked at while unsecured, and if it doesn't recognize the face it automatically triggers lockdown mode, which locks the screen, conceals notifications and disables biometric unlock, requiring a PIN or password to be entered.
21 Quest, Nov 16 2023

Unauthorized Bread https://arstechnica...ter-iot-appliances/
"I just want toast!" [Sgt Teacup, Nov 16 2023]

Toast Phone Toast_20Phone
[hippo, Nov 16 2023]

Toast Text Messaging Toast_20Text_20Messaging
[hippo, Nov 16 2023]


       Damn it toaster! I just want toast!   

       Just work you mechanical piece of shit and stop asking me for a selfie!   

       just my ten cents, my two cents is free...   

       Bill Burr has a great rant about toasters.
21 Quest, Nov 16 2023

       I have not heard of it but am totally not surprised. My fellow humans disappoint me almost daily on what they are willing to put up with.   

       Grow a pair folks.   

       It's going to be a long haul...   

       ...fuck your toaster.   


       Okay I'm better now.   


       how does this idea help...

       Clown makeup could be a problem.   

       Also, new excuse: "I couldn't call you, because Movember".   

       Also, a slight problem where the casual thief who snatches your phone now has an incentive to carefully slice off your face with a surgical tool of some description.   

       On the positive side, my toaster is fine.
pertinax, Nov 16 2023

       New idea: get rid of your phone, carry a toaster around in your pocket instead.   

- No problems with lock/unlock. No need for security features.
- Make fresh toast wherever and whenever you want

- harder to make and receive calls
- limited storage for contacts and other information (basically post-it notes stuck to the outside)
- need larger pockets
pocmloc, Nov 16 2023

       There must be a mobile phone that can also make toast.
xenzag, Nov 16 2023

       There is, if you don't mind the battery catching fire.
pertinax, Nov 16 2023

       // battery catching fire //   

       For people who like their toast extra dark.
a1, Nov 16 2023

       Samsung's Note 7 is due for a comeback.
21 Quest, Nov 16 2023

       Fucking a toaster sounds like it might not be the best fit and could leave a mark or 3. I'll pass.
RayfordSteele, Nov 17 2023


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