Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Almost as great as sliced bread.

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Famous Funeral Fags

I've Got a Yul Brynner what have you got?
(+4, -4)
  [vote for,

A government initiative to spurn the consciences of smokers to think about their actions. Each cigarette has the name of a famous person who died of a smoking related illness and the year of birth to death - and their favourite brand of smokes.

This of course could be extended to possibly using the names of a large number of tobacco related dead people (famous or not) on each individual cigarette of a given batch of products - i.e this carton of lucky strike cigarettes displays the names of 850 persons who died as a direct result of smoking this, their favourite brand of cigarette - Lucky Strikes.

Highly collectable also.

benfrost, Dec 13 2001

For lewisgirl... http://www.thebigsh.../dumbestdeaths.html
This Jim could use some fixing himself [Guy Fox, Dec 13 2001]

Corporate Religion http://vig.pearsone...-0273643800,00.html
Has notes about the founder of "The Enlightened Tobacco Company PLC" ... [Aristotle, Dec 13 2001]

Black Death Cigarettes http://www.kretek.com/prblackdeath.shtml
... you can still order a similar product it seems. [Aristotle, Dec 13 2001]

Fake Script http://downlode.org...xt/hignfy_fake.html
Fake but excellent anyway, if you have seen the show. [Redbrickterrace, Dec 14 2001]


       Only if all track-suits and training shoes are emblazoned with the name 'Jim Fix' and his birthdate and deathdate. Jogging is bad fer yer health, ye know.
Guy Fox, Dec 13 2001

       Has Jimmy Savile died?
lewisgirl, Dec 13 2001

       Different Jim, and more *fixee* than *fixer*. See link.
Guy Fox, Dec 13 2001

       This would also reinforce the fact that smoking is really cool. It would be like an endorsement: hey, if they're good enough for Humphrey Bogart to die for, they're good enough for me.
pottedstu, Dec 13 2001

       Guy Fox: Thank you! Your link provides me with the perfect justification for my assertion that exercise is bad for you. I'm off for a scotch pie and a pint of heavy.
salachair, Dec 13 2001

       Whatever they may say, no government wants people to stop smoking. There's just too much excise revenue involved.
angel, Dec 13 2001

       Does anyone else remember "Death" cigarettes that were on sale a few years back? A tobacco company somewhere decided to emblazon the packet with a skull and crossbones of its own accord, so I can't see this working. As for Jimmy Saville, let's hope he is dead. A bad man all round and a child abuser to boot.
Redbrickterrace, Dec 13 2001

       So this is not about hiring Oscar Wildes look-a-likes as professional mourners?
Aristotle, Dec 13 2001

       Get a Guinness in for us while yer at it, eh, Salachair? After all "Guinness _Is_ Good For You", so they say.
Guy Fox, Dec 13 2001

       Jimmy Saville a child abuser - since when? you thinking of Jonathan King? I thought Jimmy was the bloke that spent half his life working voluntarily at Stoke Mandeville Hospital,was devoted to his mother, fixed it for half the world and was knighted by his country.. Or did I dream that?
po, Dec 13 2001

       gave up ages ago - was making me ill   

       how about double duty anti smoking / contraception patches ?
po, Dec 13 2001

       How could I get Johnathan King and Jimmy Saville mixed up? Oooh knighted by his country. Like Sir Oswald Moseley.
Redbrickterrace, Dec 14 2001

       R - thats a redherring - I have no idea why Moseley was made a sir. nothing to do with Sir Jimmy Saville whatsoever. If you are going to make libellous remarks, you should back it up with evidence.
po, Dec 14 2001

       [po]: There are rumours of a transcript of 'Have I got news for you' in which Sir James failed to deny that such events occurred. In the same programme, he admitted having had to pay £15,000 damages after threatening to break a girl's arms backstage at 'Jim'll Fix It'.
angel, Dec 14 2001

       I have alot to concede and a lot to say on this at the same time.The "Have I Got News for You" script is a fake unfortunately angel, but a startlingly good one. Even down to the detail paid to the "characters" of Hislop, Deayton and Merton. Jimmy Saville has been subject to a long-standing whispering campaign alleging child abuse similar to the one preceding King's arrest. There has never been the kind of evidence that the CPS could act on. After I saw "When Louis met Jimmy" I couldn't help but want to see him locked up after his now infamous Glasgow nightclub diatribe. In this he talked about threatening a young girls father in his days as a club manager, telling him that harm would come to his daughter unless he behaved in a way more condusive to Saville's wishes. The police have been interested in Mr Saville's activites a few times but he has never been arrested. I have absolutely no evidence Po - you are right. Don't spit your Frosties over your newspaper the morning he gets nicked though. I stand by my dodgy libellous statement. With Moseley I was just refuting the idea that being knighted is some kind of hallmark of integrity. The example I gave was only as fatuous as the idea put forward. If Saville's lawyers get in touch I'll delete the comment, OK?
Redbrickterrace, Dec 14 2001

       don't eat frosties and certainly don't spit.   

       thanks for taking the trouble with that explanation, its appreciated.
po, Dec 14 2001

       no problem Po.
Redbrickterrace, Dec 14 2001


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