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Fart Infusion

Because its healthy
  [vote for,

Certain foods are known to produce gas - examples include cabbage and beans. It is thought that gas is produced because certain sugars in these plants are poorly digested and thus pass thru the areas of the gut where most digestion occurs down to the microbe filled colon. The microbes are able to digest these sugars and generate CO2 and methane, producing farts.

Nursing mothers are advised to steer clear from these foods because they produce gas in the baby. Since all of baby's nutrition is milk, this means some of these indigestable sugars are absorbed by the mother into the blood, circulate to the breast and are excreted in milk.

No doubt some of these circulating sugars likewise come back to the mother's bowel, where again, they are digested by microbes and produce gas. An intravenous infusion of a solution of these sugars should produce copious farting without any oral intake.

While this might be a fine prank among the intravenously inclined, it may be that an IV fart solution could be beneficial. Some people cannot eat for various reasons and must subsist on IV feedings. These folks develop gut atrophy and other colonic problems. In these poeple, a regular fart infusion (in addition to the IV feedings) would provide nutrition to the poor abandoned colon flora - stimulating their growth, producing farts, and otherwise maining a healthier gut.

bungston, Nov 10 2003

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       No no no. It doesn't go in reverse back though the intestines. Wastes in the blood stream are filtered by the kidneys (no bacteria there) and then it goes to the bladder, and then you piss it out. Doubt everything, become omnipresent.
Laughs Last, Nov 10 2003

       I am wounded! You know my only goal is to help humankind.
bungston, Nov 11 2003

       Only use your powers for good.   

       It occurred to me that this substance might be helpful for channel swimmers, navy seals dropped far offshore, and other swimmers who could use extra buoyancy without wearing bulky life vests.
bungston, Nov 21 2003


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