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Fart Silencer

Prevent expanding gases from causing gludius maximus turbulence
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OK, ever had to fart somewhere, but it was of such volume that you were scared to let loose in public, because it would be hella loud? Maybe I can't eliminate the odor, but I can make flatulence stealthier.

I first came up with this idea after ordering pizza. In the middle of the pizza was this Barbie-table type plastic disc. It was about 1.5 inches in diameter, with 3 prongs equidistant from each other, sticking out perpendicular to the circular disc. Sick bastard that I am, I thought about ramming it up my annoying friend's a$$hole. Then, it hit me. the idea, not the fart.

Farts result from the flatulence resonating with your butt fat. Butt cheecks are typically large, and are pressed together. The gasses come out, and cause that farting noise. It's like when you replicate it by blowing on the inside of your elbow.

If this device is inserted, the area around the anus will be spread out, and no sound will be emmitted, except the passing gas itself.

Naturally, this disc would be shrunken and designed ergonomically.

An alternative is the tube. Similar to the Anal Catheter idea already on these boards, farts will just pass through the tube. Somehow, the tube will have to make an airtight seal with the anus, so the gas *ONLY* goes through the tube.

bartkusa, Feb 23 2001

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       "Burrito?"   

       'Cabbage.'
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