Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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Faux Muscle Cars

Modern thrill rides
(+6, -6)
  [vote for,

Americans love their cars. In particular, Americans love those “muscle cars” from the 1960s and 1970s. They were loud, over powered and obnoxious---and lots of fun. They’re not very P.C., though: incredibly wasteful of fuel, pollution generators and very noisy.

Auto technology has advanced a long way since then. Modern cars are lighter, more fuel efficient and safer. They handle better due to anti-lock brakes and traction control. They have much nicer amenities in the interior, including air conditioning and better sound systems.

Why can’t I have both? Let's set up a company that builds incredibly authentic replicas of the favorite muscle cars of the past. Baked, you say? Yes, replica kits of antique cars exist, which build what appears to be an antique car on top of a modern vehicle drive train, so you get modern amenities but antique looks. But read on!

Faux Muscle Cars try to replicate not only the “look” of these vehicles, but also the “feel” when driving. Want to peel out in a cloud of smoke? The traction control on your BMW is designed to prevent that, but in a faux muscle car when you floor it:

* An incredible sound system including frame-mounted subwoofer kicks in to simulate the engine and tire sounds (for those in the car only!)
* The accelerator pedal pushes back like the engine is working hard (even though it is actually just pulling out at a reasonable power to conserve fuel).
* The articulated suspension “tilts” the car to simulate strong acceleration from the rear wheels.
* Rear mounted smoke generators simulate tires scraping the pavement.
* A paint gun behind the tire sprays a non-toxic water-soluble bio-degradable black paint on the pavement to simulate a tire mark!

Slam on the brakes! The sound system simulates screeching of tires, smoke appears, the car tilts forward, etc. But underneath a modern ABS braking system was making sure you didn’t destroy your tires, and you always had full control of the car.

Put the car into a sideways skid to simulate your favorite Dukes of Hazzard episode! The traction control kicks in to make sure you maintain control (whether it feels that way from inside or not), force feedback systems wobble the steering wheel when appropriate, the sound system simulates the skids and other noises you expect to hear, and so on. (Recommended only for closed course driving, of course)

It’s like your own little thrill ride on wheels. But it still gets 35 miles per gallon (three times what your old Pontiac got), it pollutes the atmosphere far less, is much more comfortable inside, and it doesn’t annoy the neighbors nearly as much.

krelnik, Nov 08 2002

(?) Muscle car gallery http://www.muscleca...gallery/gallery.htm
here's what they look like [krelnik, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

AC Cobra Replicas http://www.cobracountry.com/
07 Nov 02 | If you can ever find an SOHC 427 to put in the replica, that is. [bristolz, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Automanual Transmission http://www.halfbake...nual_20Transmission
you might want one of these [FarmerJohn, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Babe Magnet http://www.cruisin6.../images/artcar6.jpg
[Amos Kito, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Sound Effects For Driving http://www.halfbake...cts_20for_20Driving
Pretty much covered here already [hippo, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

What's That Noise? Lane http://www.halfbake...ise_3f_22_20lane_2e
Don't take your car on this road [hippo, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Retro Dream Car http://www.halfbake...Retro_20Dream_20Car
An oldie, but a goodie [thumbwax, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Car Noises Music CD http://www.halfbake...Noises_20Music_20CD
Save money; Buy the CD [hippo, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Vroom Box http://www.vroombox.com/
Someone is baking the engine sound portion of my idea! [krelnik, Jun 28 2005]

The sound of your car’s engine might just be a lie - PBS NewsHour - Jan 23, 2015 http://www.pbs.org/...ine-might-just-lie/
Turns out the big automakers are now doing the engine noise component of this invention because modern engines don't sound cool enough to impress owners. [krelnik, Jan 24 2015]


       Hmm. Always wanted my Friday car to be '67 Pontiac GTO, convertible of course. Black gloss.   

       I'd like my Sunday car to be a '68 Ford Torino, convertible of course. Sky blue.   

       I'll just drive any old MG Sprite on the week days ;-)
hollajam, Nov 08 2002

Zircon, Nov 08 2002

       If nothing else, I'd go for the faux skid marks.
DrCurry, Nov 08 2002

       Yes, but how are you going to simulate the all-important, awe-inspiring, adrenaline-pumping feel of being slammed almost into the back seat when the now heated rear tires finally stop spinning and smoking and catch hold of the asphalt? Or conversely, the sensation of being perilously close to being tossed through the windshield when you slam on the breaks at 90 mph? If you can work those in somehow, there's a big old smoking croissant waiting!
ton80, Nov 08 2002

       I think that can be done. For acceleration, ever so slightly loosen the seatbelts & shoulder strap while at the same time tilting the drivers seat backwards. For deceleration, do the reverse: deliberately TIGHTEN the seat belts and cant the seat forward a few degrees simultaneously. Perhaps throw in a gust of air from the console vents on the acceleration for effect.   

       I've seen this effect (well the tilting, not the belt adjustments to my knowledge) used in rides at Disney World. (Buzz Lightyear in the Magic Kingdom). It is amazingly effective!
krelnik, Nov 08 2002

       I don't like it. I'd rather have a real one.
kaz, Nov 08 2002

       An OLED display embedded in the rear view mirror displays the image of a law enforcment vehicle complete with flashing lights.   

       This thing sounds like it could be fun as an amusement ride but it would be a poor substitute for the real thing.   

       In the real world, you're adding a bunch of weight to an already underpowered vehicle. Kinda leaves me doubting the 30 mpg figure. More likely 30 mph.   

       By the way, croissant.
half, Nov 08 2002

       read "modem thrill rides..."   

       gah. I need to get out more.
yamahito, Nov 08 2002

       When my brother was in high school, he taped the long car chase scene from the Stallone movie _Cobra_ (remember, he had the sweet sweet car, and did the 180 skid-turn without slowing down so as he drove in reverse he could shoot back at his pursuers. Oh yeah!) Anyway, the scene is about 10 minutes long and has no music, just roaring engines, squealing tires and gunfire. Sly says "Hang on", at one point. Oh yeah, and an explosion. Anyway, he would play this tape at full volume while driving around town with the windows down.   

       I recount this as a low tech way to achieve your goal.
bungston, Nov 08 2002

       Missed this first time around, but Oh Yeah, I love it!! Big ole retro croissant with all the modern flavourings and preservatives for you!
egbert, Nov 29 2002

       I personally would like to see formed a company creating interior/body kits resembling classic, exotic or expensive autos that can be mounted on common cars like honda accords or toyota camrys
imthatwillguy, Dec 23 2002

       GM already has the 'skateboard' chassis concept. You could dump a replica bodyshell of a '76 camaro on top of that, or even a AC cobra.....
venomx, Jul 09 2003

       That skateboard is going to cause nothing less than an entire revolution in the auto manufacturing world. I predict massive retirements right around then, as people find themselves obsolete.
RayfordSteele, Jul 09 2003

       <not really that relevant> I had a 69 toyota corona delux, top cut off, --the rear wheels broke loose all the time, taking off, corners, stopping. total dog but fun until the timing chain skipped a tooth.
oxen crossing, Jul 09 2003

       Grrr. Have a croissant.
Shz, Oct 07 2003

       better kind of wrongness?
Mungo, Feb 21 2004

       This is baked in the car restoration market. Restorers have to meet EPA standards for the engines they place in old cars.
10clock, Jun 29 2005

       Actually most vehicles have to retain the emissions devices of the engine used. So a 1950 Ford with original engine only needs a draft tube, but if yo uput in a 1976 engine you would use the 1976 equipment and meet those tailpipe emissions standards. This is the case for most states, but some don't have tailpipe testing. The part of Maryland that is on a separate peninsula on the Atlantic, for instance. Antique cars don't even have to go through inspection in many states.   

       Back to the topic, some driver schools have cars with swiveling rear supension to make the car slide, and some use a wet track to teach those skills. And poser cars have always existed, and always will. The special effects are a nice touch, though.
moPuddin, Jun 29 2005

       Any hard-core enthusiast will be able to tell the difference. Plus, annoying the neighbors is part of the fun.
kevinthenerd, Dec 04 2007

       See latest link - turns out simulating engine noise in the car sound system is now baked in stock US made vehicles. As it happens modern fuel-efficient engines don't produce a satisfying sound that (particularly sporty car) owners expect. So the sound is augmented through the car sound system.
krelnik, Jan 24 2015

       bah, that was baked on my 1995 Renault Clio (Be Bop special edition, poverty spec, but with jazzy seats). You could definitely hear the engine through the sound system, my dad claimed it was a grounding issue... but I like to think I invented a modern car manufacturing marvel.   

       Actually, that car was a faux muscle car, being diesel it got between 40-50 mpg, but being poverty spec I got super heavy manual steering, 1960's level safety and comfort features, and poor grip provided by all-round super budget Ditchfinder Pro tires.
bs0u0155, Jan 24 2015

       You had me at "paint".
Voice, Jan 25 2015


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