Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Filter-feeding Restaurant

Cutlery? *yawn*
  (+5, -3)
(+5, -3)
  [vote for,

I get a little bored with the human method of feeding, and an occasional diversion of mine is to emulate the eating techniques of some of the fauna we share this planet with. In my ongoing quest to feed like the animals I've eaten bananas "ape-style", I've torn apart a raw steak with my teeth, and I've swallowed whole fish. Damn I've even grazed on grass.

One of the animals I'm most jealous of is the majestic blue whale - I am awestruck as these beasts take in a mammoth gulp of ocean, and then squeeze it out through their baleen, trapping and then swallowing thousands of krill. I had some success mimicing this by using a bottle of sea monkeys, but it didn't quite feel authentic. I think to do it properly you need to be in the water - after all, whales don't have hands.

So what about a pool containing lots of mini-krill?<factoid>krill are the highest biomass species on the planet</factoid> Actual krill are about 6 inches long, and so are probably too big (though I would give them a go). Instead you could probably use some smaller shrimp relative - just fill a normal size pool with the little fellas. People turn up at lunchtime, go for a swim and, well, filter-feed. Great exercise and a way to relieve the boredom of using a fork. You could also stop referring to lunch as "lunch", and start calling it "feeding time".

sild, Aug 19 2002


       Mmm... All you can eat Brine Shrimp buffet...
Mr Burns, Aug 19 2002

       there's always those female spiders who eat their partners after copulating (or is it during the act?)
po, Aug 19 2002

       can't imagine which word you mean.
po, Aug 19 2002

       According to an interview with the author of a recent book on animal biology, there's cannibalism after, during, and sometimes even before, uhm, consummation [thanks, po].
jutta, Aug 19 2002


       jutta, you mean consummation?
po, Aug 19 2002

       <wail of disgust> Off topic ! Off Topic ! </wail of disgust>   

       How does one avoid ingesting an awful lot of water along with one's lunch ? Are the shrimp cooked, or raw ? Is the water boiling, or boiled ? I like shrimp, but I don't think you'd convice me to consume them this way ....
8th of 7, Aug 19 2002

       They're alive and flipping. You take a mouthful and force the water back out through your "baleen". Then it's up to you whether or not you crunch 'em up or swallow 'em whole. Whales don't chew, so I'd go for the latter.
sild, Aug 20 2002

       [jutta] you must be talking about Olivia Judson and her book "Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation."
bristolz, Aug 20 2002

       I might not be the first one to feed this way ... but I'd sure come to watch at "feeding time"... better not venture too close to the edge of the feeding pool though [+]
ixnaum, Sep 18 2005

       The human body has evolved to eat the way we normally do. Altering our eating habits in such a way could be quite unhealthy.
apocalyps956, Jun 26 2006


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