Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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First Class for Everyone

Airlines can treat everyone nice?
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Airlines are struggling to get better market share, utilizing, for the most part, Price. Except for Halfbaked Air who, of course, woos it's customers by offering First-Class Incredible Customer Service (FICS). Everybody at halfbaked air is always ready to "FICS that for you". You forgot to leave your Swiss Army Keychain at home our Halfbaked Air representative will be happy to "FICS that for you" sending it either to your home or onto your next destination via mail. Are you running late for your flight to Fiji and don't think you'll make it through security on time? our ticket agent can "FICS that for you" flagging you as first class and running you through the quick First-Class line.

Why do all of our generally overworked apathetic airline employees want to do this for you? Because for every pay period they recieve a bonus based on the average value of the customer service survey that the passengers fill out at the end of their flight. If you have a plane full of perfectly satisfied customers you're going to get a big fat bonus at the end of the pay period. The bonus could be say up to 15% of the base pay of the employees involved and even if you get some seriously pissed off Quentin Tarantino type who says that they were offended by the extra pillow that he got the other customers on the flight will show their appreciation on the survey for the earphones that they all got.

Chrishnaugh, Jan 06 2005

FICS. http://www.freechess.org/
Check mate in twelve. [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 06 2005]

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       hi [Chris] and welcome. This is a bold first idea, but I'm afraid I don't get it, is it just performance related pay for airline staff based on customer surveys ? if so, I'm a bit concerned that already over-worked cabin crew would vote with their feet for an airline that just pays better.
neilp, Jan 06 2005
  

       Nice idea but it won't work. Everyone would want to fly on halfbaked but then the corporate gods would decide to shoehorn more first class passengers onboard. Then it would be first class coach for all. Plus think about the mad stampede when the gate attendant calls "Boarding First Class"! I might fly with them if they merged with Hooters Air, hmmmm...
rad0, Jan 06 2005
  

       The only thing I like about this idea, other than the Quentin Tarantino reference, is the notion of providing customers an opportunity to make decisions. "Don't just fly there, FICS something !"
goodtilldone, Jan 06 2005
  

       The incentive structure looks like it would work, but the economic structure wouldn't work at all. First class on many planes has twelve seats and a dedicated flight attendant, as compared to the coach section that has upwards of 125 seats and two flight attendants. To provide the same level of quality would involve hiring more people, et cetera, et cetera.   

       The Airline execs can't run their companies profitably now, and I doubt they would be able to do so with this expensive service.   

       Great idea though. Welcome.
contracts, Jan 06 2005
  

       Halfbaked Air? You must be kidding! If you say anything at all, they tell you it’s idiotic (unless some other fool has already said it, then it’s redundant). Ask for food (My God, just a lousy piece of bread!) and they shower you with fishbones. You complain, and they seat you next to the emergency exit . . . and encourage you to use it. “Push the button,” they say. “See the little duckies? Fun, huh? See what's next. Push it again, go ahead . . . ”
ldischler, Jan 06 2005
  

       But where else would the plane be built out of cheese and have three wings?
Mr Burns, Jan 06 2005
  
      
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