Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Flak Jacket

Express yourself to informal flak
  [vote for,

When being subjected to flak for whatever reason, you may don the Flak jacket.

The Flak jacket is waist in length ,appearing as a normal jacket which slips over the head, instead of having to use a zipper.

Contained within the chest of the jacket is a gonflable air sack which is connected via a tube to a small cannister of gas.The release of the gas to the air sack is controlled via a valve switch held within the hand,the same applies to the collar of the jacket controlled via the other hand.

Upon receiving a flurry of flak, release the gas inflating and puffing up the chest, thus increasing your visible size.As the chest inflates, the skin of the jacket displays bright vibrant orange and red streaks through lacerations which were not visible before when the bag was deflated.

As the flurry continues, release the gas to the collar of the jacket which will activate a large frill which is supported by cartilaginous rods which extends ruff-like around the head,displaying a broad ,rounded expanse of bright orange and red in a blaze of startling colour.

You may add a hiss to the process if desired.By now, the opposing person is either shit scared and gone or thinks your completely nuts anyway and will move on.

Expel gas and go on your way.

skinflaps, Feb 11 2003

Avian Flack Jacket http://www.western....g/gunnsg/gunnsg.htm
A couple of Sage Grouse show off their new Flack Jackets for the benefit of the assembled ladies. [jurist, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Rust colored Flack jacket http://www.barbados...m/ordertickets.html
[waugsqueke, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       Hah! You might be able to attract a mate with it as well – just strut and whistle after inflation. +
Shz, Feb 11 2003

       I kept trying to figure out what this idea had to do with publicists and press agents. I suppose a "flack" could make use of one of these "flak" jackets, too.
jurist, Feb 12 2003

       //Expel gas and go on your way.//   

       For maximum effect, you'd want a whoopee-cushion style value on the deflator.
FloridaManatee, Feb 12 2003

po, Feb 12 2003

       Actually,[UB], it was a Roberta Flack Jacket...and there is nothing soft about the way she's killing me.
jurist, Feb 12 2003

       This could be adapted for maritime use to double as a lifejacket, with its primary purpose being to allow windsurfers to exaggerate their size and scare other surfers/small dinghies/jetskis out of their path whilst attempting to sail against the wind. It could then be dubbed a Tack Jacket.
egbert, Feb 12 2003

       Quack Jacket to be worn in case of kamikaze duck attack.
thumbwax, Feb 12 2003

       Iv'e gotta give it to [jurist] combine that link, mix it with a frilled lizard and i'd run a mile.   

       Have amended Flack to Flak as per advice,however the anno's still bear meaning to skinflaps and for some reason attracted fishbones.
skinflaps, Feb 12 2003

       Now I’m confused. I thought this to be a device that wards off reporters. Flack = Press Agent? - and in this case a ‘flurry’ of them?
Shz, Feb 12 2003

       [Shz] In the context of this idea flak, as in excessive or abusive criticism.Flurry, as in a sudden burst of commotion.(my previous anno )   

       [UB] the ducks would be restricting.
skinflaps, Feb 12 2003

       Thanks skinflaps. I pictured it outside in. Croissant remains firmly intact.
Shz, Feb 12 2003

       YES. Perhaps you should install a safe valve. One that would operate much in the concept of a Peacock flume. Hence, the outside aggressor (now securely walled off) would be sure to catch a glimpse of the color inside. And you have an outlet. Remember, it is not all keeping flak out without keeping flume in.
fisher, Feb 12 2003

       All this talk of hoods ... i thought i'd dust this idea off and throw it straight back into the arena..whatever .."as you say "
skinflaps, Nov 11 2003

       //Expel gas and go on your way.//   

       Sounds all too familiar
squeak, Nov 12 2003


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