Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Flue Shot

It's that season again.
  [vote for,

This idea is for a 2-inch diameter eject tube in your home that extends out your roof and is used to launch small objects into the sky. On each floor of your home the tube would have little latched openings into which you could toss things, and a button that would send a blast of air through the tube, shooting the object out of your home. An exhaust rain cap on the top of the tube would keep nature from getting in.

Why? Well in addition to the myriad things that could be usefully (or entertainingly) ejected from your home, this simple system is designed for residents of the U.S. mid-Atlantic region who are being overwhelmed with swarms of a new invasive species, the brown marmorated stink bug (Halyomorpha halys). These pests enter homes in the autumn to escape from the dropping outdoor temperatures. Home owners can't squash them because they emit a foul odor (trans-2-decenal or trans-2-Octenal, if you must know), so they need an alternate form of disposal. You can try to gingerly pick them up in a tissue and swift them out a door, but not infrequently one or more get inside before you can shut the door. A common method of disposal is to flush them down the toilet, but this wastes a lot of water over time. Heat/light-baited funnel traps have also been proposed, but these require seriously unpleasant maintenance.

The solution is the Flue Shot, which give you an easy and stink free method for disposing of stink bugs, and anything else that is usefully (or entertainingly) ejected from your household. Please do not abuse.

swimswim, Oct 14 2011

Brown Marmorated Stink Bug http://en.wikipedia...armorated_stink_bug
Thank you Asia, for this wonderful gift. [swimswim, Oct 14 2011]

Hand crocheted. http://www.glamguns.com/hk47.html
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 15 2011, last modified Oct 16 2011]

Don't aim for your enemies. http://en.wikipedia...tomological_warfare
[swimswim, Oct 19 2011]


       Excellent, [swim]2!! I'd like to install a fan at the bottom and a pan of soap, then blow bubbles all over the neighborhood! Bun [+]. (It would be great if each bubble would have a stink bug in it...)
Grogster, Oct 14 2011

       "2 inch" ... that's 50mm .... kitten sized .... the fur would make an excellent pressure seal ... [+]
8th of 7, Oct 14 2011

       But even in a stiff wind, the kittens would come down somewhere in the yards and find their way back into the house, where they would continue to rub up against you, purr, and urinate everywhere.
Alterother, Oct 14 2011

       [+] very, very cool...I'm thinking of some knick-knacks I want to get rid of! (not any that would be too heavy as to hit someone on the head.)
xandram, Oct 14 2011

       Santa is going to be quite surprised this year.   

       //brown marmorated stink bug//   

       I find the resemblance to the word 'Marmite' fascinatingly telling. Is this how they make that stuff?   

       As a caretaker of the land of the Great Lakes I'm beginning to think that Asia is simply the land from which all invasive species originate. They can have back their carp, their tiger mosquitos, their longhorned beetles, their asian clams, and dreaded hello kitty dolls and karaoke machines. Especially the hello kitty dolls.
RayfordSteele, Oct 14 2011

       If you are experiencing a Hello Kitty infestation, may I suggest a wider gauge Flue Shot? And the tube can be specially installed at an angle to ensure that the payload will land in a nearby cesspool or landfill.
swimswim, Oct 14 2011

       Can I knock some Chinese satellites out of orbit with them?
RayfordSteele, Oct 14 2011

       How to knock a satellite out of orbit with a stink bug? This is indeed a problem worthy of the 'bakery ballistics experts, and I will defer to them.
swimswim, Oct 14 2011

       Try as I might I could not find the hardness and density of these critters, let alone their terminal velocity at 200 kilometers.
Voice, Oct 14 2011

       Maybe if we fill a Hello Kitty beanie baby with stink bugs...
RayfordSteele, Oct 15 2011

       // Helllo Kitty //   

       Maybe this product should be rebranded as "Goodbye Kitty" then, for ever so many excellent reasons…
8th of 7, Oct 15 2011

       I feel I must point out at least one of Hello Kitty's redeming qualities. [link]   

       Just think of how bad-ass you'll look at the range.   

       You lot are worse than Ferengi, and that's saying something.
8th of 7, Oct 15 2011

       We can put together a Ferengi-gauge tube as well, not for [2 Fries], but for other Ferengi-sized objects.
swimswim, Oct 17 2011

       It would need to be coordinated with a massive external speaker system playing the sound of a sneeze.
hippo, Oct 17 2011

       And/or the tube could be slathered with a jelly-like substance so that the ejection further simulates a sneeze.
swimswim, Oct 19 2011

       Wouldn't that be prohibited by the Convention on the Prohibition of the Development, Production and Stockpiling of Bacteriological Weapons?
mouseposture, Oct 19 2011

       The jelly-like substance would of course be nothing less than hospital-grade sterile jelly-like substance.
swimswim, Oct 19 2011

       Interesting question: Does the Convention also prohibit weaponization of imaginary diseases?   

       The nocebo phenomenon's reasonably well- established, as is the existence of hysterical epidemics.
If France, for example, experienced an epidemic of psychosomatic influenza, as a result of being sprayed with sterile K-Y jelly, would that be considered CBW, or propaganda?
mouseposture, Oct 19 2011

       That is a good question. I would suspect that this would fall rather under the cover of psychological warfare.   

       However <quickly flips to bio-warfare page in printed copy of wikipedia>, I may have errantly crossed a line with my stinkbug launching, depending on where they land. <link>
swimswim, Oct 19 2011


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