Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Nice swing,
no follow-through.

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remove rummaging raccoons
  [vote for,

(renamed from coon-a-pult, due to intense lobbying) A coonamoon propels a raccoon into the air when it starts to get into your trash cans. This device, disguised as a trash can lid, is activated by a pressure switch which detects the full weight of a raccoon (12-35 lbs). Upon activation, side panels are deployed to scoop the raccoon onto the center of the lid (known in the user's manual as the "launch pad"). There are adjustments for vertical, horizontal, and an optional spin. It is suggested that you use an unruly child or a barking terrier to adjust the device before risking harm to actual raccoons. Fits popular make garbage cans. See optional garbage cam (under Home: Security) -Entry #1
flerper, Apr 10 2003

(?) Mouse Catapult http://www.slycraft.com/mouse.htm
Perhaps a larger version of this... [Cedar Park, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(?) The Yankee Flipper http://www.yankeefl...l/video/Premiere.rm
A motorized squirrel-flingin' bird feeder. If you have Real Player and the download time, it's worth your while. [Amos Kito, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       Bwahahahaha! He he he! Oooo I likes it!   

       Can it have a video camera on it too so you don't miss the fun?
futurebird, Apr 10 2003

       Didn't we just have mouse-a-pult?
snarfyguy, Apr 10 2003

       Nah, coons are cute. (Thank goodness Susen's not around!)
DrCurry, Apr 10 2003

       i can see myself abusing this with my younger brother...heheh. wait...no...must be kind and generous...
igirl, Apr 10 2003

no explosions?
ato_de, Apr 10 2003

       Sorry, I like them. They’re actually very friendly. I hand feed them cat food on cool summer nights sitting out on the deck as I slingshot apple pieces up to the bats. *Note that my Mother who among other things is on the rabies advisory board for the state – doesn’t particularly care for these activities.   

       I recommend securing the cans as an alternative deterrent.
Shz, Apr 10 2003

       As a city boy, I must say I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw five racoons eating a pair of sneakers in Big Sur last year. We were almost like bumpkins in reverse -

       "Gee, Maw, lookit the size o' them rats."
"I ain't never seed 'em that big, Paw - not even in the subway!"

       I sort of wanted to be friendly - they're awful cute - but I was too scared.
snarfyguy, Apr 10 2003

       The best way that I've found to deal with raccoons getting into the garbage is to simply place any rubbish which is edible into the bush or a corner of your property. If you are always putting the stuff that they are after in the same place, they know where their meal awaits them and they leave your garbage cans alone. Some people would say that this just encourages them to continue coming back, but in my experience they don't seem to need any help in that department. Co-existence is the key.
B.T.W. croissant for the visual.

       Actually, [UB], I wasn't advising you at all, but recommending that <flerper> get his/her marketing wizards on the prowl for a more universally satisfying name.(I have attempted to emend the previous annotation to reflect that intention, hopefully with more success than the earlier version.)   

       As regards XXXX Beer, I didn't know that it was being frequently confused for condoms. Unfortunately most of the X-rated knowledge that I have about beer begins and ends with Dos Equis (XX) from Mexico. Does that mean I've been drinking half a condom? ...That concept certainly puts me off my next meal.
jurist, Apr 11 2003

       Oh for pity's sake! We had coons before the racists had them. I have simply proposed launching raccoons into the brisk early spring night sky (well, tell that to the raccoons!). I am hard at work on my next invention called the butt stick remover for those who are offended (please go to health: stress relief).
flerper, Apr 12 2003

       (See link for *really* appalling oversensitive pc shenanigans: "the niggardly controversy." People were actually losing their jobs over the use of the word niggardly because other people don't know it and it sounds like the "N" word.)
snarfyguy, Apr 14 2003

       Oh, I remember that nasty affair. Yes, appalling.
bristolz, Apr 14 2003


       I didn't intend to link to them, per se. The other on point links were from even worse sources.
snarfyguy, Apr 14 2003

       "Rac-ket" would suffice.
thumbwax, Apr 14 2003

       Way up there ---^, [Kameleon] said "I'm offended by you naming your product "fill in blank"."
Was that *really* intended as an anti-anti-white Afrikaans joke? ([Kameleon] being Dutch.) If so, it's *so* funny.
angel, Apr 14 2003

       I get the feeling [kam] is a poker player.
po, Apr 14 2003

       Propel raccoon invaders away from the trash. period. I appreciate all of the conversation, but when you have a case of the coons then you will want this thing.
flerper, Apr 16 2003

       Maybe this could be combined with a hand-cranked gatling gun to add a sport element to the process. As the raccoon sails through the air, you engage it with the gatling to ensure that it has learned its lesson.
Alan_Sosprach, Aug 29 2004


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