Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Food Allergy Challenge II

Let's settle it, I'M THE MOST ALLERGIC
  [vote for,

So, people with food allergies exist. Some of them I am sure are legitimate people with legitimate problems who are just trying to get on with their lives. Now, the ones I meet at parties are a different breed. I'm not allergic to anything, well, I might be, but who's got the time for that? The people I meet at parties, that's who. Its seems to be some form of competitive social masochistic one upmanship. It usually starts with a small group of light drinkers, one of whom declares their vegetarianism. Before long, someone goes nuclear with veganism, with nut, grass, pollen, gluten and cat allergies*. I think it's because they have nothing else to talk about.

Let's sort it out. A game show. To be titled [insert country]'s most allergic! Contestants claiming an impressive array of allergies come on the show. They are tested for allergies by qualified medical professionals, blood tests are revealed live for antibodies, histamine levels, cortisol and what not. Anyone caught faking an allergy is roundly booed by the audience and contractually obliged to eat a whole lot of the thing they're not allergic to.

Eventually, a leader board will develop and the most allergic will be invited back for the finals. The finals will involve a whole lot of exotic foods from around the world. Contestants will be unaware of their allergic status to these foods, the winner will, of course, be the person with the most total allergies, possibly discovering two or three new ones in the finals. This will also be their prize, since it will make them top dog at parties. The fakers get shamed. Possibly enough that they have to go and read books, or develop personalities.

*but tiddles is my life!!!!

bs0u0155, Jun 12 2015


       EpiPen® s at 20 paces as a side show ?
popbottle, Jun 12 2015

       the medical professionals are on hand. Obviously no one WANTS to see a life threatening allergic reaction on TV... but it would be heart warming to learn that they'd survived.... after the break
bs0u0155, Jun 12 2015

       It would help to know WHY they are allergic. I've just read an abstract which says people with allergies get significantly lower rates of pancreatic cancer.
4and20, Jun 12 2015

       "Bubble boy wins again..."
RayfordSteele, Jun 12 2015

       //"Bubble boy wins again..."//   

       Difficult to be allergic to things when you don't have a functioning immune system.
bs0u0155, Jun 12 2015

       Oddly enough, when I was a kid we had an old house, and my room had wallpaper over very old and loose plaster. We also had house-spiders of prodigious proportions (Google Tegenaria parietina).   

       Consequently, at night it was possible to hear these things walking up the walls - pit-tap-pit-scratch.   

       After about 20 years of arachnophobia, I decided to sort it out by buying a pet tarantula, on the grounds that they are big and hamstery and not prone to rapid movement. My first discovery was that tarantulas can, in fact, move very very fast when they choose to - approximately one arm's-length in a second or so.   

       However, in the end we (Phideaux and me) reached a mutual understanding about sudden movements. Thereafter, all was fine.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 12 2015


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