Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Free Range Gorillas

Instinct, not extinct.
  [vote for,

As man invades the remaining bastions of security enjoyed by many of Earth's creatures, we are putting enormous pressure on them and rendering many of them extinct.

The solution, so far unsuccessful, has been to set aside special reserves for these critters, so we can have David Attenborough toddle along every so often with a camera crew and make some breathtaking documentary about how baby tigers can rend a baby Indian child limb from limb.

Under the Free Range Gorillas program we will set up a breeding population of Mountain Gorillas or Siberian Tigers or Purple-patched Patagonian Potato Weevils in your district, depending upon climate constraints, and run an advertising and civic pride campaign to ensure a smooth transition for the wee beasties.

In exchange, the BBC will wheel David Attenborough (or the new animatronic DA, once this one wears out) through your town every so often, to film you and your adopted wildlife creche and pump up tourism for your local economy.

infidel, May 13 2011


       Many of Earth's creatures taste just like chicken. <burp>
Grogster, May 13 2011

       True, though people apparently taste like pork.
infidel, May 13 2011

       When it comes to Purple-patched Patagonian Potato Weevils, actually, I'm a bit of a nimby.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 13 2011

       Is that like a numpty?
infidel, May 13 2011

       The free-range part made my mind drift to gorilla burgers as well grogster.
bob, May 14 2011

       nimby = not in my backyard.
po, May 14 2011

       Great idea. Stir-fried panda with cashew nuts, mmmmmmmmm.   


       [Grogs], pass the sauce.
8th of 7, May 14 2011

       Might I also suggest liberal application of the Patagonian Purple Vinaigrette, [8th]? In addition to adding a delicate flavor, it kills (most of) the virulent strains of third world road kill bacteria... Bottoms up!
Grogster, May 14 2011

       The remaining viruluent strains endorse that suggestion. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" is actually true in bacteriology.
mouseposture, May 14 2011

       No, that's how aggressive hegemonizing swarms say it, hence //us// I myself say "whatever might kill me is best avoided."
Not very witty, but, as you'll notice, I'm still here.
mouseposture, May 14 2011

       //nimby = not in my backyard.//   

       D'ya think?
infidel, May 14 2011


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