However, a careful examination of the pricing
policy of one
unrepresentative outlet reveals an anomaly.

Pizzas are not priced in a linear manner.

Given the same toppings, a pizza 7 units in
diameter vends at 530
currency units. This is
3.44 currency units per unit
area.

However, a pizza 14 units in diameter vends at
1150 currency units,
giving a price of 1.86 currency units per unit area.

The gradient of the slope is therefore -0.225, and
the price/area
equation is given by price = -0.225 * diameter +
5.01

Thus the unit price of a pizza of diameter 1 is 4.78
currency units,
and
by extrapolation a pizza of 22 units diameter costs
zero currency
units per unit area.

Should the pizza exceed 22 units in diameter, the
price goes
negative, i.e. they have to pay you to take it away.

Isn't capitalism wonderful ?

PS can anyone explain why, when we explained
this, they threw us
out of the shop and told us not to come back ?

I think your mathematics is flawed. If the price per
unit area follows an inverse power law, then the cost
per unit area will become zero only at infinite size.
Add delivery charges, and the whole things become
a bit like Messen's Telescope.

You have, in short, extrapolated illinearly between
two data points.

Anyway I thought Messen was the microscope and infinitessimal smallness. You must be looking down the wrong end of it?

Also this makes me think, if the pizza price curve is curved, does the pizza approach an infinite price as its size approaches zero? That could imply that choosing not to eat pizza could be a bad decision.

You are correct. Not eating pizza can be economically disastrous; but
it is important to remember that the pizzas MUST be big. Eating many
small pizzas is nearly as expensive as eating no pizzas at all, whereas
eating even a few very large pizzas guarantees prosperity, happiness,
and chronic obesity.

No, you're confusing him with Colum O'Bestiary, the 1989 Inner
Hebrides All-comers haggis-hurdling champion. Such a pity that, like
all the other competitors, he received his medal posthumously; but
then it wouldn't do to let the old tradition lapse.