h a l f b a k e r y
The word "How?" springs to mind at this point.
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A certification body will interview you and observe your behavior for a day or two. Afterward, if they're satisfied, they give you a "certified germophobe" card. You can use this to prove to your friends, family, and coworkers that your strange-sounding or drastic hygiene advice is valid, in situations
like the current one.
||Could some candidates be fast-tracked ? "Piloted a Lancaster, dropped six tons of high explosive on Hamburg" should tick all the boxes in one go...