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Giant Hamster for London Eye

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The recently-discussed-here London Eye is not, really, an eye, is it? I mean, it's round, but that is about as eyeey as it gets.

It is very much more a hamster wheel, which means that it is clearly lacking one vital component.

What is needed, therefore, is a mechanimatronic Giant Hamster. Said Giant Hamster will have to be rather disproportionately narrow to fit between the two sets of radial, spoke-like cables. But, if any nation can rise to the challenge of producing a disproportionately narrow mechanimatronic Giant Hamster, it is surely this sceptre'd isle.

Said hamster should, of course, be self-propelling. The current drive mechanism (which acts by bearing on the wheel's rim) can be removed, and the remotely-controlled Giant Hamster can instead drive the wheel's revolution by lolloping.

MaxwellBuchanan, May 21 2016

Kitten Kong - the goodies https://www.youtube...watch?v=Jr6CyU-Ev_M
[not_morrison_rm, May 23 2016]

Maybe with enough of them... 20_2c000_20Hamster_20Dyno
[RayfordSteele, May 23 2016]

Elegy http://www.chestert...country-churchyard/
Still true today. [8th of 7, May 25 2016]

Giant Hamster Spotted in London https://www.instagram.com/p/BF3pVqQg3ot/
It's on its way..... [xenzag, May 26 2016]

Trump + Clinton = Trumpton https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trumpton
[MaxwellBuchanan, May 27 2016]


       // lolloping //   

       Scuttling, shirley ?   

       // self-propelling //   

       The London Eye is 120m in diameter. Based on current data, this extrapolates to a self-propelled mechatronc hamster 80m long and 30m high at the shoulder.   

       No sunflower seed in the Universe would be safe.   

       To avoid the risk of hamster droppings 2m long and 0.5m diameter littering the South Bank, the only realistic energy source is a pair of pressurised water fission reactors.   

       So, you're proposing to build an autonomous eighty metre long nuclear-powered hamster and let it loose in the centre of a major population centre, a stone's throw from the seat of government of one of the members of the UN security council, and in line of sight of one of your planet's major financial and commercial hubs ?   

       Excellent, go ahead. After all, what could possibly go wrong ?
8th of 7, May 21 2016

       //Scuttling, shirley ?//   

       I'm guessing you have never seen a mechanimatronic Giant Hamster.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 21 2016

       Not one that's eighty metres long and powered by fission reactors, no.   

       Regular sized (3 to 5 metre long) Giant Hamsters admittedly do tend to lumber rather than scuttle. Quite why they're so popular as pets, what with the thick, wrinkled grey skin, huge tusks, flapping ears and weird prehensile noses is inexplicable. They don't even bark at burglars...
8th of 7, May 21 2016

       //To avoid the risk of ...//   

       It's still going to need to be able to excrete used lubricants, excess pigeons, plastic bags, &c.
lurch, May 21 2016

       Perhaps a Rodent Of Unusual Size could substitute?
RayfordSteele, May 22 2016

       Perhaps they could build a giant wooden rabbit ... ?   

       Or it could be an opportunity for the Giant Rat of Sumatra to make a comeback.
8th of 7, May 23 2016

       //Regular sized (3 to 5 metre long) Giant Hamsters//   

       I believe you are thinking of Pygmy Giant Hamsters, native to Flores, where the island environment caused a progressive diminution in size over several hundreds of generations. (Curiously, the same island is also host to the Giant Pygmy fruitbats.)
MaxwellBuchanan, May 23 2016

       a bit of a difference in speed between a hamster wheel and the eye.
po, May 23 2016

       ...as well as the torque.   

       Maybe my 20,000 hamster dyno could help?
RayfordSteele, May 23 2016

       //a bit of a difference in speed//   

       Now, you see, if you'd raised that point _before_ the inaugural ceremony it would have fine.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 23 2016

       + I like this...of course the hamster should get tea time breaks,though.
xandram, May 24 2016

       That's a Shrew-d insight, [IT].
8th of 7, May 24 2016

       If someone bought fake tickets for this, would it be a London Eye icon con?
Ling, May 24 2016

       Yes, and if there was a large meeting for victims, it would be a London Eye icon con done con.
8th of 7, May 24 2016

       This would raise the London Highbrow eye-brow
Ling, May 24 2016

       I googled up the London Eye. One could easily thread strips of LEDS down the spokes and create a simulated blinking eye. Possibly a blinking Evil Eye to glare balefully at the enemies of England.
bungston, May 25 2016

       That would be the Houses of Parliament, then.   

8th of 7, May 25 2016

       Surely her Majesty's Government is unblinking?
MaxwellBuchanan, May 25 2016

       I think it should have the support structure modified to be supported on the left and right, and have the LEDs do a roughly firey-cats eye shape that can be seen from Wales. Maybe some runes scribed in, too.   

       Or maybe just a monocle?
RayfordSteele, May 25 2016

       If you want the Eye of Sauron, being the embodiment of all evil, glaring at the British government, then the most appropriate place to put it would be on the top of the Eiffel tower.   

       That would be geographically correct too, because Mordor is south-east of the Shire.   

       And decribed as bleak, desolate and full of hordes of hideous, evil sub-human creatures. So yes, france.
8th of 7, May 26 2016

       Oddly, Donald Trump isn't welcome there, either.
RayfordSteele, May 26 2016

       //the enemies of England.   

       Where to begin?
not_morrison_rm, May 27 2016

       //Donald Trump isn't welcome there, either// I hear he's welcome any time in North Korea.
xenzag, May 27 2016

       I am so glad the Trumpster has win the nomination - the fight between him and Clinton will be hilarious - perhaps we should call it Trumpton?   

       In any event, one of them is bound to get in, and that will be the funniest thing that has ever happened.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 27 2016


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