Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Giant Weetabix

Three Breakfasts in One
  (+4, -3)
(+4, -3)
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Weetabix changes from a solid to a liquid in less than thirty seconds. No one has ever left a soggy weetabick unattended for more than two minutes, but science tells us that it would turn into a gas after just four minutes of neglect. I thought to capitalise on this by manufacturing giant weetabix.

Giant weetabix is like having three breakfasts in one. Oh! hearken to me, sweet friends. The first minute’s crunchy spoonfuls that rouse you from your morning daze. The second minute’s banana-soft spoonfuls that play like so many puppies in your mouth and grow like a lush and fertile paradise on your tongue. And what of those spoonfuls trumpeting in the third minute? That regulation-issue workhouse gruel that fills one with a defiant working-class pride? One would leave the breakfast table as though they’d eaten clams and chowder at the Try Pots, or indeed any three-course dinner at any fancy restaurant.

Remember, Weetabix is like life: you need to take it all in before it's too late.

spiritualized, Jun 12 2005

Weetabix http://www.weetabix.co.uk/frameset.asp
Godawful muck. [DrBob, Jun 13 2005]

Images of Weetabix http://images.googl...=en&lr=&sa=N&tab=wi
[hippo, Jun 14 2005]

Gigantic Cereal Gigantic_20Cereal
sorta same from DeathNinja [FarmerJohn, Jun 14 2005]

Giant Weetabix http://images.googl...s?q=hay+bales&hl=en
Pictures of Giant Weetabix [DesertFox, Jun 14 2005]


       Yep. About the diameter of a hard hat, and the depth of a laptop.
spiritualized, Jun 12 2005

       ...or you could put more than one in the bowl.   

       At any rate, I don't think I could eat that much Weetabix in one sitting.
5th Earth, Jun 12 2005

       Is it only me that doesn't find weetabix all that filling?
kaz, Jun 13 2005

       WHAT IS WEETABIX?!?!?!??!?!?!   

       I googled it and got confused. How would it turn into a gas?   

       //spoonfuls trumpeting in the third minute//   

       Sure, after you ate a lot of beans! Reminds me of those trumpeters in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
DesertFox, Jun 13 2005

       the only way that I would eat weetabix is with butter and jam.   

       what IT says.
po, Jun 13 2005

       Interesting. In a single bick, you have the downward slope of the food consistency vs age curve.
calum, Jun 13 2005

       [po] //what IT says// - Is this another THEM *thing*, but less definite ?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jun 13 2005

       I.T. his Rodsness.
po, Jun 13 2005

       DesertFox, Weetabix is composed of roughly palm-sized rectangles of compacted cardboard and is a delicious and nutritious breakfast if eaten with large quantities of food. When doused in milk it turns into cardboardy sludge.
DrBob, Jun 13 2005

       [IT]: Sweet genius (or should that be savoury genius?).   

       [Absinthe]: It is a reference to one of the greatest HB ideas **ever**. The idea was so good, it had to be [mf*]-ed through the little known clause of TWINFSAWI, or "The world is not ready for such a wonderous invention".
Jinbish, Jun 13 2005

       Had a thoughtful breakfast today did we [spiritualized]?
wagster, Jun 13 2005

       A thoughtful supper actually, Wagsie. I wouldn't usually eat Weetabix, and I'd never eat them for breakfast. They're just a stand-in for cereals that go missing in action. Weetabix is the prostitute one loses his or her frustrations in when the boxes of Shreddies or Weetos are empty, and you've already gotten the milk out the fridge.   

       And have you ever noticed how your cornershop only stocks lesser, backup cereals? You’d rather have a bowl of Coco Pops, but all they have in is All Bran.
spiritualized, Jun 13 2005

       I followed the Weetabix link, and still can't figure out what the dashed things are. Is there a reason they won't show a picture of their product?   

       I'm getting on a plane for England in a few hours--I need to know if I should cancel the trip. Going to a place where breakfast bricks cause such excitement sounds like a descent into the seventh circle of gastronomic hell.   

       //WHAT IS WEETABIX?!?!?!??!?!?!//   

       //the prostitute one loses .. her frustrations in// Can I watch?
baconbrain, Jun 14 2005

       baconbrain, try them when you get there. It is best to eat them dry. Take two before breakfast, and tell me if the symptoms get any better.
Ling, Jun 14 2005

       //Going to a place where breakfast bricks cause such excitement // Coming, presumably, from a place where one breakfast dish shares the same name as the stuff we put on roads to improve traction. Watch out for the black fly in your Chardonnay.
coprocephalous, Jun 14 2005

       [baconbrain] See link for images of Weetabix.
hippo, Jun 14 2005

       [IT] Nope, can't see "Weetabix: The Movie"
coprocephalous, Jun 14 2005

       No, neither can I. But then I'm logged in at work and we can't see anything interesting here. Admittedly 'Tindale Eats His Breakfast' is probably putting a bit of a strain on the definition of interesting.
DrBob, Jun 14 2005

       Yahoo claims there that there is a file in your 3GPP folder, yet I look and it is empty. Yes, just like the ten boxes of cereal in my cupboards.
spiritualized, Jun 14 2005

       //Admittedly 'Tindale Eats His Breakfast' is probably putting a bit of a strain on the definition of interesting// that's rich coming from the man who finds putting a strawberry on his cereal too much of a culinary challenge.
po, Jun 14 2005

       hey, can't wait for the sequel!
po, Jun 14 2005

       The music helps!.
gnomethang, Jun 14 2005

       <cups ear> what music?   

       "freakers...grease your lips... swing your hips...
po, Jun 14 2005

       Those pictures look like hay bales.   

       See link for pictures of giant weetabix.
DesertFox, Jun 14 2005

       Thanks for all the pictures. That *was* a big bowl of Weetabixi on the hotel's buffet line this morning. The things have made it to Jakarta. I ate croissants and thought of the Halfbakery.
baconbrain, Jun 15 2005


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