h a l f b a k e r yMay contain nuts.
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Good porridge has a consistency similar to that of quicksand. One of my memories of the famous Lone Ranger TV series is the frequency of people walking or falling into quicksand.
This creates the idea for a set of miniature Lone Range figures that you can use when you are having porridge to confirm
when it's reached the perfect consistency.
The idea is to have a happless victim figure that's placed on the porridge and allowed to sink slowly below its surface, only to be rescued at the last minute by the Lone Ranger using his trusty horse Silver assisted by the equally heroic Tonto.
The whole product arrives as a kit consisting of:
One porridge bowl shaped like the type of natural depression which would contain quicksand.
One happless victim that you can pose in a variety of ways due to moveable limbs ie arms over head shouting for help.
One Lone Ranger figure on horseback of Silver - this is equipped with a windup powered string that attaches to the figure drowning in the porridge and used to drag him out.
One Tonto figure who can be positioned to "pull on the rope".
Once unpacked, you have everything ready to restage one of the most famous of the Lone Ranger's episodes, at the same time as confirming your porridge is of perfect consistency.
deluxe version features sound effects and dialogue recordings you can play as you rescue the drowning figure
Lone Ranger quicksand episode
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rwI3Agveptk
the dreaded quicksand makes its first appearance within the first minute [xenzag, Mar 04 2023]
[link]
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Rossini's overture never tasted so good. [+] |
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Was hoping the characters would be made out of a porridge-complementing foodstuff, perhaps a bread product, such that their eventual and utter demise (their 3rd this morning) would enhance the meal. |
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I though this was going to be something like sugar cubes shaped like victims sinking in quicksand, very relieved. |
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The lone ranger and Tonto are asleep one night when Tonto nudges the lone ranger saying;
"Look up and tell me what you see Kemosabe."
The lone ranger says; "Well... the moon is two days from being full, there are no clouds so it shouldn't rain tomorrow, the constellation Orion is low to the horizon so..."
Tonto smacks him and says; "No you idiot, somebody has stolen our tent!" |
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I like the idea, but I'm not sure it'll work unless the characters are human sized or very heavy. |
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The figures are made of a suitably dense and heavy material like depleted Uranium. They have been sprayed coated with a thin layer of coloured Teflon and are kept for storage in a special lead lined box. After each porridge making session they must be carefully rinsed and dried before being returned to their contour cut recesses. I suppose I should have included this detail in the idea, but thought it was rather obvious. |
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//human sized// I don't see the problem with having human sized figures. Just make sure to double the amount of porridge you have for breakfast every day, and in a week or so you will have plenty enough in your breakfast bowl to use with the life-size figure set. |
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(At this point it is advised that you stop the daily doubling unless you are desirous of using our deluxe full sized "battle of Jutland" breakfast entertainment kit) |
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Well if you have a swimming pool, you could fill it with porridge and make a prototype to carry out some re-enactments. |
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Later that day the lone ranger is taking a leak and gets bitten by a rattle snake on the end of his pecker.
Tonto races back to town to fetch a doctor but he's busy birthing babies so he tells Tonto to make an X incision on the bite and suck out the venom. |
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Tonto rides back hell-bent-for-election and the lone ranger frantically yells; "What did he say Tonto, what did he say?" |
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Tonto looks at him and says... |
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"Him say you gonna die Kemosabe." |
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