Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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God Locum

Also available for superheroes
  [vote for,

Being a god presumably has many perks, ranging from plague- casting abilities to free parking just about anywhere, even in bus lanes. However, one of the downsides must be lack of holidays, since you're meant to be omnipresent and (in most cases) omniscient, both of which imply constant, 24/7 attendance.

Being a superhero involves a bit less pressure, and of course nobody expects you to be in all places at all times, but it's still difficult to take time off work - how can you book flights and accommodation when, at any moment, you may be summoned to deal with some emergency or other? If you're dealing with an Act of God (see above), it's unlikely your travel insurance will refund you.

Clearly, there's a much-needed gap in the job market to be filled, to whit, god/superhero locums. There are at least a good few gods who have been relegated to history and, since they are immortal, they're presumably still available for work. I'm also sure there are a lot of superheroes that just didn't make it, are now retired, but are still capable of stopping a tall building or leaping a runaway train when called upon to do so. I mean, what has Chalk Man been doing since the 1950's? How does Finchwoman spend her days?

MaxCo.'s God and Superhero Locum Service (we are working on alternative names) will meet this need, acting as a go- between betwixt out-of-work gods/superheroes and those needing cover for a couple of weeks while they get some R&R. Obviously, the more specialised functions offered by the full- time gods/superheroes might not be provided by a locum, but basic services such as smiting, rescuing, planet-saving, plaguing etc can be covered by just about anyone. Fees are based on the experience of the locum and on the demands of the job, but are very reasonable even after MaxCo. takes its modest fee.

MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 11 2019


       It's such a shame neither Terry or Douglas are still around, either could have done this idea justice, though Douglas perhaps had some prior art he could have built this idea onto in The Long Dark Tea-Time..
Skewed, Jun 11 2019

       //either could have done this idea justice// I've decided to take that as a compliment. But I might change my mind so watch out.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 11 2019

       The Oh God of Hangovers in Hogfather is pretty close to this.
8th of 7, Jun 11 2019

       But Mort is closer yet.. Death's apprentice who fills in for him, & his daughter later on.
Skewed, Jun 11 2019

       Death isn't a God, he's an ANTHROPOMORPHIC PERSONIFICATION.
8th of 7, Jun 11 2019

       As are all Discworld Gods for all practical purposes really, the line between them isn't thin, so much as drawn in water colours then smeared all over the page with a wet flannel.
Skewed, Jun 11 2019

       I've been thinking (always a dangerous pastime)… When you're a superhero, and you go on vacation, people are likely to know, either because you aren't around when they need help or because you pre-announce it so they don't expect help. Furthermore, they may be able to correlate this schedule of superhero unavailability with your personal-life vacation schedule, if they know that, and connect the two identities, which is generally considered a bad thing for a superhero.   

       One solution is to never take a vacation, but this would result in burnout for most people, especially in such a high-stress job. Another is to take unannounced vacations at times when your services are unlikely to be needed. A third is to keep your personal- life vacation schedule quite secret. The last one I've thought of (well, been told of) is to employ a locum, but that requires that your locum pretend to be you, so that the public doesn't know you're away. Will the MaxCo. loca (?) be skilled and equipped to impersonate any given superhero?
notexactly, Jun 24 2019

       //skilled and equipped to impersonate any given superhero// That's tricky, from a legal perspective.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 24 2019


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