h a l f b a k e r y
On the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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Being a god presumably has many perks, ranging from
casting abilities to free parking just about anywhere, even in
However, one of the downsides must be lack of holidays,
you're meant to be omnipresent and (in most cases)
omniscient, both of which imply constant,
Being a superhero involves a bit less pressure, and of course
nobody expects you to be in all places at all times, but it's
difficult to take time off work - how can you book flights
accommodation when, at any moment, you may be
deal with some emergency or other? If you're dealing with
an Act of God (see above), it's unlikely your travel insurance
will refund you.
Clearly, there's a much-needed gap in the job market to be
filled, to whit, god/superhero locums. There are at least a
good few gods who have been relegated to history and, since
they are immortal, they're presumably still available for
I'm also sure there are a lot of superheroes that just didn't
make it, are now retired, but are still capable of stopping a
tall building or leaping a runaway train when called upon to
so. I mean, what has Chalk Man been doing since the 1950's?
How does Finchwoman spend her days?
MaxCo.'s God and Superhero Locum Service (we are working
alternative names) will meet this need, acting as a go-
betwixt out-of-work gods/superheroes and those needing
cover for a couple of weeks while they get some R&R.
Obviously, the more specialised functions offered by the
time gods/superheroes might not be provided by a locum,
basic services such as smiting, rescuing, planet-saving,
plaguing etc can be covered by just about anyone. Fees are
based on the experience of the locum and on the demands
the job, but are very reasonable even after MaxCo. takes its
||It's such a shame neither Terry or Douglas are still around,
either could have done this idea justice, though Douglas
perhaps had some prior art he could have built this idea onto
in The Long Dark Tea-Time..
||//either could have done this idea justice// I've decided to
take that as a compliment. But I might change my mind so
||The Oh God of Hangovers in Hogfather is pretty close to this.
||But Mort is closer yet.. Death's apprentice who fills in for him,
& his daughter later on.
||Death isn't a God, he's an ANTHROPOMORPHIC PERSONIFICATION.
||As are all Discworld Gods for all practical purposes really, the
them isn't thin, so much as drawn in water colours
then smeared all over the page with a wet flannel.
||I've been thinking (always a dangerous pastime)
When you're a
superhero, and you go on vacation, people are likely to know,
either because you aren't around when they need help or because
you pre-announce it so they don't expect help. Furthermore, they
may be able to correlate this schedule of superhero unavailability
with your personal-life vacation schedule, if they know that, and
connect the two identities, which is generally considered a bad
thing for a superhero.
||One solution is to never take a vacation, but this would result in
burnout for most people, especially in such a high-stress job.
Another is to take unannounced vacations at times when your
services are unlikely to be needed. A third is to keep your personal-
life vacation schedule quite secret. The last one I've thought of
(well, been told of) is to employ a locum, but that requires that
your locum pretend to be you, so that the public doesn't know
you're away. Will the MaxCo. loca (?) be skilled and equipped to
impersonate any given superhero?
||//skilled and equipped to impersonate any given superhero//
That's tricky, from a legal perspective.