Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Why on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?

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Gotcha - Surgical Surprise Implants

  [vote for,

In for an appendectomy? Saving up for that gastric band you always wanted? Let MaxCo. make it special for you.

Our Gotcha (tm) surgical implants are available in a variety of designs and sizes. Most popular, by far, is the miniature alien chest-burster, but our 5-month foetuses are also a hit amongst male customers.

Next time you're due to be opened up for abdominal surgery, simply order one of these finely crafted, radio-opaque, CT-scan-imageable implants, and hand the sterile pack to your surgeon before you go under. The implants can be placed in any convenient space in your abdomen, where they will sit, inert and innocuous, for years to come.

Then, next time you have an X-ray or CT scan...

MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 27 2017

For [notexactly]... https://en.wikipedi...g/wiki/X-ray_optics
There are ways to manipulate x-rays, but it is difficult. [neutrinos_shadow, Jun 29 2017]


       evil. love it. little figurines of ant & dec .
po, Jun 27 2017

       "Is that ... it can't be ... Elvis ?"   

8th of 7, Jun 27 2017

       I wonder if there's a way of breaking the X-ray machine by having a parabolic mirror surgically implanted and then going for an X-ray...
hippo, Jun 27 2017

       You'd want it to be metal, I imagine. And then if they change their minds and send you for an MRI...
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 27 2017

       Hmm, maybe... OK then, what about making nice patterns on the X-ray by having a diffraction grating surgically implanted?
hippo, Jun 27 2017

       Found Waldo.
FlyingToaster, Jun 27 2017

       // parabolic mirror //   

       Mirrors don't work for X-rays. I don't know if diffraction gratings do.
notexactly, Jun 27 2017

       The implant still needs a purpose, for that amount of societal investment. A gastric band that looks like alien squeezing the life out of the stomach fundus sounds better to me.
wjt, Jun 29 2017

       An extra kidney?   

       Or a way to hide existing organs?   

       John Cleese: "Can we have your liver?"
Housewife: "I'm fresh out of those today!"

Ling, Jun 29 2017

       Re X-ray optics link: Interesting stuff. I only knew some of that. Still, though, a parabolic mirror (as everyone except an X-ray opticist first imagines it) wouldn't work for X-rays. And wouldn't you want a spherical or elliptical mirror rather than a parabolic one, anyway?
notexactly, Jun 29 2017


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