Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Gravy Tower

Japanese capsule style hotel tower for UK MPs
  (+9, -4)
(+9, -4)
  [vote for,

In the UK our MPs have been caught with their greedy noses in the trough of public money. For those who actually bother to vote, this has caused total outrage.

Lavish claims have been made for their second homes to accommodate them whilst attending to parliamentary business in London. More than that, they have been exposed claiming for all of the following: moat cleaning!, chandelier hanging, porn video rentals!! etc etc. In fact one senior Labour MP even claimed 80 pence for a new bathplug! (this was the same one who's husband rented the porn)

The solution to all this is simple. Build a Japanese style capsule hotel for MPs only use, and dock their recorded overnights from a central fund.

Call it The Gravy Tower. Make sure each capsule has plenty of extra bathplugs, the option of a miniature chandelier, and a mini-moat for those who need this type of thing.

I'm sure this would have applications in other places that have equally parasitic legislative bodies.

xenzag, May 14 2009

Gravy Tower http://travellingbo...kihabara-hotel1.jpg
[xenzag, May 14 2009]

Eric Pickles, no slim jim himself, getting sonned by Der Dimbleby http://blogs.telegr...question_time_tapes
[calum, May 14 2009]


       Needs some sort of dedicated rail network...can't think what that might be called ;)
zen_tom, May 14 2009

       Incorporate a pneumatic chute system connected to Westminster for their top secret documents. Safer than cabs.
shudderprose, May 14 2009

       Certainly this will be great for already queerly hobbit-like politicians such as Hazel Blears, who will be free to roam round the relatively colossal environs of her capsule, having untold adventures but spare a thought for those Hon Membs who find themselves unable to comfortably sport childrenswear: Cyril Smith (god bless him and all who sail in him), for example and Dennis Skinner, for further example (whose seven foot two frame rendered any ambitions he may have had for the leadership of his party quickly moot, the British public being, even in these putatively progressive times, innately feart o' the giants).
calum, May 14 2009

       Cyril Smith could have housed several MP's in his trousers without too much trouble.

Good idea, xenzag. If these 'capsules' could also be fitted with rocket engines that would be good too!
DrBob, May 14 2009

       [marked-for-deletion] advocacy.
theleopard, May 14 2009

       I keep thinking those capsules look like washing machines... this would save on laundry and cleaning bills if they could have this as an extra function. No need to shower either if the occupants stayed inside during the wash cycle.
xenzag, May 14 2009

       //Incorporate a pneumatic chute system connected to Westminster for their top secret documents.//   

       With sufficient air pressure, these be used as a not-so-subtle way of informing the member that he's getting booted out of office.
nomocrow, May 14 2009

       Am I the only one who sees giant towers of mashed potatoes with incredible chicken gravy effortlessly oozing down a ditch made in the middle, every time I see the title of this idea? (Sorry hungry I guess.)
blissmiss, May 14 2009

       So, just to provide a little counterpoint to the rant, suppose your boss said he wanted you to work for significant periods of time away from home and, instead of putting you up in a hotel or paying you an allowance, gave you a capsule to sleep in?   

       The sensible option is just to have a fixed allowance which is paid to MPs whos constituencies are a sufficient distance from London. If they choose to live in a cardboard box in Westminster and pocket the allowance, that's fine. If they decide the really do need that extra bathplug but it takes them over their allowance, then tough.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 14 2009

       I agree with Max - the current orgy of media witch-burning and politicians' self-flagellation is unseemly. Punish those who have actually broken the rules and then draw a line under it and move to a simple, transparent system which has less perks (e.g. no capital gains tax on profits made on properties with taxpayer-funded mortgages) and less opportunity for 'gaming' the system. Personally, as a civil servant, I'd have no objections to all my expenses claims automatically being made public on some Government website, but that may not be the best solution for MPs.
hippo, May 15 2009

       //The sensible option// something that comes very low in my list of interests. I once succeeded in getting an Aardvark elected as the student union rep at my college, and if an alternative life form stood for election e.g. goat, crab, goldfish, I might be actually tempted to register and vote again. I think I'd draw the line at leaf vegetables... too prone to attack from marauding snails.
xenzag, May 15 2009

       //I'd draw the line at leaf vegetables.//
Brings to mind a famous Spitting Image sketch...
coprocephalous, May 15 2009

       Reminds me of the Black Books scene with the soup tower.
Concerning the actual idea, i think i heard something similar on iPM a couple of weeks back. On the actual merits of the idea, i like it, but think there's a journalistic thing going on here. My thought is that it isn't really news that politicians do this sort of thing. Also, i nearly got a free copy of the Guardian out of an MP's expense claim down the local railway station when his train turned up unexpectedly. We were chatting and he left his paper behind when it turned up, but i paid for it anyway. You can understand that the actual arrival of a train in a train station is a little unexpected nowadays. On the destination of the actual train, he was on his way to Manchester, so would you propose the existence of similar capsule hotels in other major cities? If so, would it actually be economical to do that?
nineteenthly, May 15 2009

       Dennis Skinner is 7 feet tall? wow. I saw a recent clip of him the other day apparently he has been ill but back to his old form!
po, May 15 2009

       // Punish those who have actually broken the rules //

I think you'll find that most of them haven't actually broken any rules. It's more about the morality of lining their pockets at public expense whilst simultaneously criticising others (bank executives spring to mind here) for doing something similar. What makes it worse is that these people are supposed to be the guardians of the public interest. I don't think a change in the rules is needed, just a change in the people who are abusing them.
DrBob, May 15 2009

       //would you propose the existence of similar capsule hotels in other major cities// They only need second homes in London for their trips there to attend to their luxury lives and paper preening activities at Westminster.
xenzag, May 15 2009

       How do you know they don't also claim on "fact-finding" missions up here so they can go huntin', shootin' and fishin'?
nineteenthly, May 15 2009

       Awesome. [+]
simonj, Jun 03 2009

       //Cyril Smith (god bless him and all who sail in him)//
Annotations You Regret #485 in a continuing series
calum, Mar 11 2022

       If they're like most politicians the real graft isn't to be found there, but in massive budgetary transfers along the lines of no bid contracts wherein said company hires close relatives at exorbitant salaries, pays into certain non-profits, etc.
Voice, Mar 11 2022

       Cyril Smith fucked kids.
calum, Mar 12 2022

       //Cyril Smith could have housed several MP's in his trousers without too much trouble.// Or an entire classroom of 5 year old boys.
xenzag, Mar 12 2022


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