Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I think this would be a great thing to not do.

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Guerilla Purse Hook Installer

Grind purse hook and pour purse strap over it
  (+2)
(+2)
  [vote for,
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Many fine establishments have places under the bar where a lady can hang her purse.

Many do not...but once you buy one of these, you'll be able to hang your purse wherever you choose.

The device is powered by a CO2 cartridge that has one end threaded like the ones used to inflate bicycle tires.

Threading the cartridge into the central tool to the first stop on the underside of the tool prepares the tool for action.

The top of the tool has a slotted recess that you place one of our special purse hooks into.

Holding the tool firmly against the underside of the bar in one hand, the other hand is used to give a twist to the CO2 cartridge, such that the needle in the tool pierces the end of the cartridge.

The C02 released is harnessed to spin the drive mechanism between the middle of the tool and the the slotted recess on the top containing the purse hook.

In an instant the threads on the purse hook are spun into the wooden underside of the bar, and your purse hook is installed.

Drop the tool into your handbag, hang it from the hook, and look around in puzzlement with your neighbors trying to figure out what that hissing sound was. I guess we could add a device to make it sound like flatulence if you wish, and you could say a loud "EXCUSE me...".

normzone, Jun 14 2013

Rockwell Hardness Tester to detect whether the device is about to attempt screwing its hook into a marble surface... http://www.sgtestin...hardness-tester.jpg
[Grogster, Jun 16 2013]

HA HA, sorry [norm], I was just kidding with that first one... <walks away still chuckling over the best use of the word "serious" I have seen on the HB in some time...> http://www.impactte...ardness-testers.jpg
[Grogster, Jun 16 2013]

[link]






       + sure!
xandram, Jun 14 2013
  

       That's it? I expected minimal excitement (much thanks, 21 & xandram) but I was hoping for some serious criticism...
normzone, Jun 16 2013
  

       //...serious criticism...//   

       HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! <ahem> 'scuse me...   

       Well, [norm], how about including this handy dandy Rockwell Hardness Tester <links> into your device? A portable one could easily be incorporated into the brains of your device to determine if the underside of the bar would a) accept the screw, or b) split the bar into itsy bits and spill your drink.   

       Oh, and here's a fresh steaming bun [+] for making me smile first thing this morning.
Grogster, Jun 16 2013
  

       One more thing- whether or not you decide to deploy your stealth device under the bar, suddenly blurting out "...EXCUSE ME..." seems to me to be an excellent method of clearing a spot on either side of you for a little extra room.
Grogster, Jun 16 2013
  
      
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