Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Happy Cuddle Bakery

A nice warm place to which we can direct certain newcomers
  (+7, -4)
(+7, -4)
  [vote for,
against]

A pleasant half-bakery, moderated by a kindergarten teacher, full of undeserved effusive praise, "A" for effort type encouragement and constant affirmations like "you are sooo smart and special".

For example:

[kid_knowsabit] registers and posts his idea for Actual Perpetual Motion that he has had since he was seven but to which he has never managed to get anyone to pay any attention. After his long grammatically wanting missive, we simply link him to the Happy Cuddle Bakery. If he comes back from there comlpaining that all they do is praise his creative genius and encourage him to keep on inventing, but he wants actual criticism, _then_ we skewer him alive.

globaltourniquet, Dec 19 2007

Standard responses Halfbakery_20Standard_20Responses
Not quite the same thing, but ... [8th of 7, Dec 19 2007]

EZBakery EZBakery#1190726369
[xaviergisz, Jun 06 2009]

[link]






       I think a kids' Bakery was suggested once before, but that would still be different from this.   

       [+] This might be good for a lot of kids/ teens that aren't really fit for this place. But I know I really benefited from being skewered alive, since it forced me to do research and post better thought-out ideas.
acurafan07, Dec 19 2007
  

       Now there's a level of maturity often missing in this place, [acura]. Kudos.
david_scothern, Dec 19 2007
  

       oh, but [acurafan] you ARE so smart and special.
globaltourniquet, Dec 19 2007
  

       Well, this idea is not about how to deal with lousy ideas. We know how to do that. We skewer them mercilessly - it is meet, right and a joyful thing. This is for what to do about the occasional tool that refuses to endure it without erupting into personal attacks.
globaltourniquet, Dec 19 2007
  

       Prior art ?   

       [link]
8th of 7, Dec 19 2007
  

       We could always send them to Whynot.net...
RayfordSteele, Dec 19 2007
  

       what tosser? for feck's sake, you only been back ten minutes...
po, Dec 19 2007
  

       Just another day in the old HB
globaltourniquet, Dec 20 2007
  

       Skewering turkeys is part of the spirit of the season. [-]
coprocephalous, Dec 20 2007
  

       Good idea, maybe we could send [custerd] there.
zeno, Dec 20 2007
  

       What a great idea [globaltourniquet]! You must be one hulluva guy. Kind, compassionate and intelligent too. I want to be more like you.   

       Oh, sorry. Wrong bakery.
wagster, Dec 20 2007
  

       Oh yeah, this is a perfectly good idea.... [-]!
quantum_flux, Dec 20 2007
  

       I don't even know if this place exists.
wagster, Dec 20 2007
  

       It must cause you can't ever leave. Or so it seems.
blissmiss, Dec 20 2007
  

       Am I paying attention? tsk tsk.
zeno, Dec 21 2007
  

       [Uncle Nutsy] is still here. He just doesn't write anything because he thinks he's left and is living in the "real world".
wagster, Dec 21 2007
  

       Someone really aught to bump [Boysparks]' link. It's ace.
theleopard, Dec 24 2007
  
      
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