Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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Hideous Pecking Bird

Promised partner of Running Man Following Man
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The Hideous Pecking Bird is located on a runner that circles your car along the edge of the roof, where most cars used to have a little rain gutter.

He is a mechanical device that perches benignly, when at rest, just above the centre of the windscreen. You can activate him into a series of modes ranging from serenade through vigilance to defend and attack. In serenade function he calmly swivels his head from side to side and sings harmoniously like a lark, but at any time he can quickly switch across to defend and attack posture.

In this latter guise he becomes the Hideous Pecking Bird. His normally sweet voice ceases, and is replaced by the vocalised repetition add nauseum of a series of diabolical puns, as he begins roaming around his territorial loop and extending his telescopic neck to snap like a vulture at anyone who approaches his car without the disarming remote. He is especially good at deterring those irritating bill posters who stick their unwanted notes and fliers under your windscreen wipers, but he can equally be programmed on long journeys for vigilance.

In this mode he peers in through the windows randomly, tapping on the glass and squawking loudly to prevent sleep induced accidents.

xenzag, Feb 07 2006

Hideous Pecking Bird http://www.wga.hu/f...ythol/07mythol.html
"Prometheus Bound" by Pieter Pauwel Rubens (and associates) at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. [jurist, Feb 08 2006]

Running_20Man_20_2f_20Following_20Man [ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 08 2006]


daseva, Feb 07 2006

       what's not to love :)
po, Feb 07 2006

       A parrot for preference, please; from 6 ft away they look cute, but upon closer inspection, no.
gnomethang, Feb 07 2006

       Twin Overhead HPBs please.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 07 2006

       I'm wanna bake this... Anyone know were I could get an Emu for the back of my pickup?
Pac-man, Feb 07 2006

       No, but I know a guy who sells penguins for pretty cheap.
MikeOxbig, Feb 08 2006

       Ahhh,yes... for a dogsled... Why not?
Pac-man, Feb 08 2006

       UnaBubba - you have come closest to its true meaning - "look further, and ye shall have minor merriment"
xenzag, Feb 08 2006

       When he peers in through the window, does he become Hideous Peeking Bird? And what about when he's in the old capital of China?
wagster, Feb 08 2006

       Dodo? - you'd need a crane to get it up there, and it'd be nothing to crow about. What about a little chicken powered by a starling cycle engine chasing around a little Gregory Peck doll? People would be raven about that.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 09 2006

       If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, what's a bird on your car worth?
And would safety-conscious types get in a flap about it?
neutrinos_shadow, Feb 09 2006

       I doubted this could have been posted in er-nest. And you keep egging him on.
normzone, Feb 09 2006

       Heh. This way to the egrets.   

       Adult version - as appreciated by a hornythologist - it had to be said and you know it !
xenzag, Feb 09 2006

       I sea gullible fools that have actually given croissants for this. Bunch of tits!
Jinbish, Feb 09 2006

       I'd vulture to remark that this is getting a bit silly!
po, Feb 09 2006

       It'll all end in teals.
coprocephalous, Feb 09 2006

       I think it reminds us of our mis-spent youth - swannin' about like loons in an old, teal Suzuki Swift, havin' a bit of a lark as you 'owl down the high street causin' old ladies to quail. Sometimes you'd even have a shag in the back, but that sometimes led to thrush or redthroat - though not many swallowed in them days....just a bit of puffin' and it were all over really.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 09 2006

       Corr. More rants. That's all we need.
Jinbish, Feb 09 2006

       It would tell you when you're low on petrel.   

       <joking> Reminds me of the parrots in the walk-in aviary at our local zoo. The ones that say "hello polly" are alright, just watch out for the ones that say "It's got my finger!" and "Not the eyes! Not the eyes!" </joking>
spidermother, Feb 09 2006

       That old soccer player..what's his name?..Hens Peckinbower. He'd love this on his Trabant.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 10 2006

       I'm sorry, I just don't swallow this...
Minimal, Feb 16 2006

       <pedant>sp. "ad nauseam"</pedant>   

       I think this is a good idea, but I can't come up with a suitable pun to subtly put into my comment.
dbmag9, Feb 16 2006

       If one HPB can deter bill posters then surely toucan do it better?
DrBob, Feb 16 2006

       Ally a bird, never a swan.
reensure, Feb 16 2006

       What have Egyptian dams got to do with this idea?
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 17 2006

       When it's in deNile.
<budum tsh>


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