Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Kali Will Save You

aka Kalironic
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1)
  [vote for,

Kali Will Save You is a new type of life-belt that looks like a small hand-grenade, which means you can throw it much further.

When it hits the water, its two constituent chemicals combine and expand. (think polyisocyanurate or similar) This causes the toughened, deflated Kali figure to escape from its foetal position and erupt into full life size.

Being multi-armed means that there are many limbs for the drowning victim(s) to reach out and grab, as they wait for rescue, clutching for dear life the arms or legs of the usually deadly Kali. (see link)

(doubles up as a distraction weapon to be tossed into rooms in hostage situations)

xenzag, Mar 18 2012

Kali http://introspectiv...om%20Hindu-kali.JPG
inflates to "life" size [xenzag, Mar 18 2012]

Not Kali http://4.bp.blogspo...tomorrow+horror.jpg
[mouseposture, Mar 20 2012]


       This is a good idea on two facets. Firstly the eminently sensible idea of the expanding life belt which is compact and can be thrown further. Secondly, big style points for the Kali arms. [+]
AusCan531, Mar 18 2012

       The idea of an expanding foam lifebelt is, I think, a good one.   

       I wonder if conventional inflatable lifejackets are prone to punctures? If so, then filling them with polyurethane foam would be much better than filling them with air or CO2.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 18 2012

       //his foetal position//   

       "her", shirley?
pertinax, Mar 18 2012

       My limited understanding of Hindu gods leaves me with the impression that Kali is usually female, but not always. The depiction link shows what I believe to be a male version.... but perhaps not? (edited to make Kali noncommittal)
xenzag, Mar 18 2012

       //The depiction link shows what I believe to be a male version// If it's a male, what's it doing with those prominent blue breasts?   

       On the other hand, I've never known a woman with blue breasts either, so I guess this proves nothing.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 18 2012

       with a belt of trophy shrunken male heads - its female.
po, Mar 18 2012

       Better than a priapus version.
RayfordSteele, Mar 18 2012

       I recall something about Kali often being portrayed exhibiting male parts to demonstrate that she has 'sexually devoured' her male counterpart god. Could beway off, it's been ages since I read about Hindu things.   

       A grenade-like expanding flotation aid designed for better throwing is genius. To those with swiftwater rescue skills, this would be a pinpoint tool thrown like a fastball.   

       Do not panic! Spread your arms and point your feet downstream. Expanding croissant-shaped floatation grenade incoming.
Alterother, Mar 18 2012

       Supposedly those are not the shrunken heads of men [po] but the cut off the heads of the children of others, and these she wears as a garland around her neck.
Would the caster of such a device then become a mudra-er?

       Found this fascinating;   

       To calm her down and to protect the stability of the world, Shiva is sent to the battlefield, as an infant, crying aloud. Seeing the child's distress, Kali ceases dancing to take care of the helpless infant. She picks him up, kisses his head, and proceeds to breast feed the infant Shiva. This myth depicts Kali in her benevolent, maternal aspect; something that is revered in Hinduism, but not often recognized in the West.   

       nope, they are wrinkled male faces with moustaches...
po, Mar 18 2012

       Ah yes, belt, sorry [po] my bad.
Floor: Current beau... with moobs.

       We consider a "Cthulhu" version would be equally, if not more, attractive.   

       Imagine the situation from the point of view of the potential drownee: your state of distress having been noticed by those on shore, a small, dark object flies trough the air and lands nearby with a splash; it sinks immediately.   

       A few seconds later, the water nearby heaves and swirls, bubbles of gas arise, and then a gigantic, multi-tentacled greyish-green slimy monstrosity, the very stuff of nightmares, erupts from the water and starts to extend its sticky, sucker-encrusted pseudopodae towards you in a deeply disturbing way ...   

       Change of underwear not included.   

       Bun witheld, as original idea makes no mention of projecting the lifesaving device using pyrotechnics or propellants.   

       We, as a Collective, welcome our new multi-tentacled collaborators. Cthulhu F'thagn !
8th of 7, Mar 20 2012

       I'm sure a bazooka-like propane cannon could be easily developed for this purpose.
Alterother, Mar 20 2012

       Make it so !
8th of 7, Mar 20 2012

       Difficult to imagine a way of extending sticky, sucker-encrusted pseudopodae towards someone that would be only superficially disturbing.
mouseposture, Mar 20 2012

8th of 7, Mar 20 2012

mouseposture, Mar 20 2012


       sp. pseudopodes.   

       You know, like antipodes, but less hostile and more pretentious.
pertinax, Mar 21 2012


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