Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hollow valentines spunk chocolates

Hollow chocolate shells to be filled with your own spunk as a romantic valentines gift
  (+7, -28)(+7, -28)(+7, -28)
(+7, -28)
  [vote for,

For the more "adventurous" of your girlfriends/f**k buddies.

A tasteful, red silk covered, heart shaped box of hollow chocolate hearts, supplied with a syringe kit, so that they may be filled with your own spunk as a personalised valentines token of your amorous feelings.

bitmonkey, Feb 27 2007


       I'll bet you're great company over dinner.
Murdoch, Feb 27 2007

       Ah, the perfect dessert to go with YOUR BALLS GRILLED ON A STICK! Have a fishbone instead.
Galbinus_Caeli, Feb 27 2007

       Disgusting, unfunny.
elhigh, Feb 27 2007

       I see I'm not alone in liking this idea. Should I get help?
wagster, Feb 27 2007

       I bunned it too.   

       While I've no plans to buy these chocolates come Valentine's Day (so to speak), I don't *think* this was written just to gross people out (admittedly I might be wrong about that), and I think there are at least some open-minded/kinky/utterly crazy (delete as desired) people out there who would be amused/aroused to receive this gift. And it'll provide a good learning opportunity for the guy who gives this gift to his girlfriend *without* carefully considering her wishes and feelings, a chance to learn some valuable lessons about how to be a thoughtful, mature boyfriend and how to sew his balls back on.   

       Mind you, I suspect it would sell better if you replace 'spunk' in your advertising with phrases more like, 'the most intimate gift you can give your lover - the gift of your passion' or something along those lines.
imaginality, Feb 27 2007

       I'm against most any idea that involves my male member and a syringe. I'm also against most any idea that involves the possibility of fetid semen leaking out of a food product.   

       Please include some technical details about how the surprise inside these chocolates is sealed up... and PRESERVED, since it will likely take multiple production sessions to fill a whole box of the candy... And STERILIZED, since you may not want to impregnate every kink you give a box of this stuff to.   

       Disturbing song quote: "She read in a book once that chocolate is good both in you, and on you for sexual pleasure."
ye_river_xiv, Feb 27 2007

       You know, I've never been on the receiving end, but spunk just seems the kind of thing that would be much better delivered directly than after sitting in a container, any container, for a while. For that reason, I think it's a non-starter, not because it's icky.
Noexit, Feb 27 2007

       "Why do these chocolates taste of asparagus?"
baconbrain, Feb 28 2007

       //Why do these chocolates taste of asparagus?//   

       Are you speaking from experience?
nuclear hobo, Feb 28 2007

       I'll join [wagster] and [imaginality] in expressing my support for this idea. What else can you expect in the food:genital section of the halfbakery supermarket?
I'm bunning this idea for the benfrostian possibility of valentines vagina-jam chocolates.
methinksnot, Feb 28 2007

       //And STERILIZED, since you may not want to impregnate every kink you give a box of this stuff to//   

       I'm just throwing this out there, ok, but I always got the impression from Sex Ed that women couldn't get pregnant by injesting semen, nor by kissing boys, holding hands or sitting on a warm toilet seat.   

       Against my better judgement I donate this red silk covered personalised valentines croissant for your delectation, and most definitely agree with [boysparks]' Eurotrash supposition.
theleopard, Feb 28 2007

       //you may not want to impregnate every kink you give a box of this stuff to//   

       Those particular girls would be giving a far too literal interpretation to the aphorism, "Chocolate is a substitute for Love"...
placid_turmoil, Feb 28 2007

       "Hello darling, I come bearing gifts"
skinflaps, Mar 01 2007

       Don't mix these up with the chocolates you bought for Mother's Day
hippo, Mar 01 2007

       A cheaper version might just be to spunk in a card.
theleopard, Mar 01 2007

       Is this a recipe?
Fishrat, Mar 01 2007

       No, it's a kit. Chocolates and special spunk syringe.
theleopard, Mar 01 2007

       ...for disaster? If I gave these to my fiance, she'd kill me.
Fishrat, Mar 01 2007

       //Chocolates and special spunk syringe.//   

       Assuming the syringe is for injecting the spunk into the chocolates, how does one extract the spunk? I always thought that spunk extraction (by someone else, of course) was the essential purpose of Valentines Day ...
nuclear hobo, Mar 01 2007

       A man's genitalia is just a type of oversized biological syringe anyways...
theleopard, Mar 01 2007

       //A man's genitalia is just a type of oversized biological syringe anyways//   

       Now now, let's conduct ourselves with a little more modesty shall we gentlemen?
zen_tom, Mar 01 2007

       //Y'know it could have been worse. The idea might have been for assorted flavours.//   

       I've been told that one's diet has an influence on the taste.
nuclear hobo, Mar 01 2007

       the next idea will be for Cadbury's (Fertile) Creme Eggs
xenzag, Mar 01 2007

       some poor sod will mark his halfbakery birthday with this idea.
po, Mar 01 2007

       Do you mean someone's going to eat a... ? No. You couldn't have.
wagster, Mar 01 2007

       jeesh - not another box of breeding chocolates !
xenzag, Mar 01 2007

       Interestingly enough, there are (or were) superstitions in some African tribes that if a man can surreptitiously feed a woman his semen (as in, without her knowledge), she will fall in love with him. That said, the last thing I want to be doing on valentine's day is jacking off...as Noexit and Nuclear Hobo said before me.
monk, Mar 02 2007

       [admin: there's enough of a split to make me resist the MFD; it's not clear to me whether the author expects to offend or is just unusually open.]
jutta, Jun 20 2007

       Warning: This product contains nut derivatives.
marklar, Jun 20 2007

       mfd removed.
DrBob, Jun 20 2007

       "LIfe is like a box of chocolates that you dont want to let melt in your snizz"
evilpenguin, Jun 20 2007

       If you have unwated guests, these chocolates would be ideal if the were available as after eight mints! After handning them round you can gleefully tell evey one you made them yourself
S-note, Jun 20 2007

       ...and if the gift-giver is a poor lover, they could be called 'after eight minutes'.
fancypants, Jun 20 2007

       There has to be a flavoring or additive that makes any/most semen taste good. If not, the inside of these chocolates could still be filled with something to disguise the flavor, and have only a little semen injected into them.
Voice, May 13 2008

       Damn! I thought that was _flavors_ and have worked my way up to 37.   

       Hi, [UB].   

       "These are great chocolates, Darling. You must have spent a lot."
baconbrain, May 13 2008

       I'm hoping to avoid having to look at the origin dates of every idea in this category in order to determine how we got this category in the first place - is there a story?
normzone, May 13 2008


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