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Honor Your Very Ancient Ancestors Day

Thank you for the gift of life Grandma and Grandpa therapsid.
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"Dear Granny and Papa circa 225 million years ago. I know we look very different but we are your bloodline and you are the reason we are here today. Your grandchildren survived the mass extinction due to your innovative adaptations. We, your great grandchildren by about 10 million generations have reached for the stars, walked on the moon and harnessed nature to take up the challenge of being the new vanguard of life, as you were in your time.

In your honor we celebrate your existence by giving you a name after 225 million years.

Granny, I am going to call you Sally. Sally is a nice name so I chose it for you. Papa, I am going to name you Mike because I've had several friends named Mike. I know you didn't need names in your time, and of course, you're dead and can't hear me, but the thought is out there anyway.

Thank you Sally and Mike. (see link for pictures)

Signed, Doctorremulac3, your roughly ten millionth grandson."

doctorremulac3, Aug 06 2019

Grandma Sally. http://sciencenewsj...erapsid-990x545.jpg
[doctorremulac3, Aug 06 2019]

Grandpa Mike. https://www.thought...f9b58af5c9df692.jpg
[doctorremulac3, Aug 06 2019]

Eutheriayee McEutheriaface https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eutheria
[doctorremulac3, Aug 11 2019]

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       There's an issue with the naming thing. Everybody alive today has the same two [great]n grandparent therapsids. We'll need to agree on names, unless you're comfortable with having named the [great]n grandparents of every living human (and indeed mammal).   

       I mean, these are the two therapsids that gave rise to Vivaldi, Einstein and Gergovitz. The two therapsids whose descendants would found Rome, London and Paris. The two therapsids whose distant children would set foot on the moon. These are, in short, the two most successful therapsids on the entire planet.   

       And you've named them Mike and Sally.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 06 2019
  

       Yup.   

       I think the rules are... first guy who decides to pick a name picks the name. Quite sure that's how this works. Case in point. Lucy: "Lucy is the common name of AL 288-1, several hundred pieces of bone fossils representing 40 percent of the skeleton of a female of the Australopithecus afarensis species." The main idea though was the celebration day, the name was a sweet, sweet bonus.   

       But it's mainly a day of celebration of our lizard-like ancestors.   

       Look Max, your grandpa Mike is smiling. He likes his name.
doctorremulac3, Aug 06 2019
  

       For goodness' sake, [doc]. I can't have an ancestor called "Mike". "Michael" would be marginally more acceptable, though still a little vulgar. "Sally", I'm afraid, is entirely out of the question.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 06 2019
  

       I didn't say "Mikey" at least.   

       Keep in mind, our grandfather scurried around in the mud looking for dead things to eat. He would view his grandsons such as Galileo as either a threat to avoid or dinner. My heartfelt speech to him, if he were alive today, would be made from a safe distance with at least a taser if not a high powered rifle as a backup just in case gramps got hungry.   

       With all respect to our venerated grandfather, to elevate him with the name "Mike" is probably a bit more than he deserves.
doctorremulac3, Aug 06 2019
  

       Hey, he was my ancestor too. Bear in mind that he was the only - absolutely only - male therapsid whose genes would make it through every single one of the next tens of millions of generations. Most of the others made it through zero generations, or one or two, or maybe a few hundred if they got lucky.   

       Genghis Khan wasn't especially nice, as people go, even by the standards of his day. And only something like 0.5% of all humans alive can be traced back to him. But you wouldn't dream of calling him "Geng", or "Genghey". Try saying "Yo Gengster, how's it hangin' bro" and see how well that goes down.   

       You go back and shoot Michael, and all of humanity - not to mention the pandas and porcupines and elephants - just vanish. OK, pandas we could manage without. And probably porcupines and elephants. But where would we be without bacon or beef?   

       So show a little respect.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 06 2019
  

       The name "Sally" sounds like an abbreviation (like Harold -> Harry), but I can't think of any name it could be an abbreviation OF.
neutrinos_shadow, Aug 06 2019
  

       Sally is a short form of Sarah.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 06 2019
  

       Umm...
Sarah: 5 letters, 2 syllables.
Sally: 5 letters, 2 syllables.
How is it a "short form"?
neutrinos_shadow, Aug 06 2019
  

       ls are quite thin.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 06 2019
  

       //How is it a "short form"?//   

       There's a strange phenomenon with some places/accents and their fondness for shortening and then relengthening names. Stephen, Michael & David are just Steve, Mike & Dave in most places, but in Liverpool they're Stevie, Mikey and Davey-lad. Australia goes with Steve-oh, Cunty & Dave- oh. I wonder if it's because two sylables works better when shouting?
bs0u0155, Aug 06 2019
  

       You know, I think I killed a cute idea by adding the name thing. Too late now, but in retrospect you shouldn't invent a hover craft and then say its main feature is that it's named Bob. Bob the hovercraft. It takes people off the main idea.   

       Every annotation will be about the name, not the hovercraft.   

       "Why did you name it Bob?"   

       "Bob is short for Robert. Could somebody please explain how you get Bob out of Robert? Joe out of Joseph yes, but Bob from Robert makes as much sense as calling "Richard" "Dick".   

       "But what about my hovercraft?"   

       "You named it Bob."   

       "Yes, but it hovers."   

       "But why would you name it Bob? Why not Carl?"   

       etc.   

       I brought this on myself. Lesson learned.
doctorremulac3, Aug 07 2019
  

       Very well: the idea itself is a bit silly too. Honour those who are alive to receive the honour. Dead ancestors don't care whether you remember them or not.
neutrinos_shadow, Aug 07 2019
  

       ^ Of course they do. As will you when you rejoin the great dreaming.   

       Tsh!   

       This is just an honouring of the tree of life, which is definitely mentally healthy as a global species.
wjt, Aug 07 2019
  

       Interesting fact: Icke hails from Mikey's oral bacteria, Trump from the anus.
4and20, Aug 07 2019
  

       This seems very short-sighted - our Last Universal Common Ancestor, or Luca - is well known to be some pre-prokaryotic collection of DNA/RNA encoded mechanisms some 3.7 billion years ago.
zen_tom, Aug 07 2019
  

       Yes and no. We know that eukaryotes were the result of a cell fusion event. It's quite likely that there was a lot of mixing and matching and fusing and splitting that gave rise to the first really good living cell. Which confuses things a little.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 07 2019
  

       You know, giving a hat tip to our ancestors that walked on all fours might also have a bit of a side benefit of acknowledging beings that are currently in that state of evolution as well.   

       I've always said that dogs will be talking someday. They'll also be piloting spaceships if they ever break out of the whole "using the mouth as the main tool for survival" thing and move to an opposing thumb arrangement. The mouth tool is a dead end. You're basically a land shark.   

       Dogs deserve better than that.
doctorremulac3, Aug 07 2019
  

       Agh, no one mentioned the monolith, surely there should a Monolith Day, where people crowd a portable monolith and beat things to death?   

       NB John -> Jack - 5 letters
not_morrison_rm, Aug 07 2019
  

       Is there an explanation for this bizarre name swapping?
doctorremulac3, Aug 07 2019
  

       Every morning when meditating, I thank the original yogis for their devotion and commitment to passing down the ancient ways. It don't get much more old than that...for me, at least.
blissmiss, Aug 09 2019
  

       //cell fusion event//   

       I had no idea these kind of events happen but there are several in the class of 'unintentional reproduction'. There are even disease types that harpoon their DNA into other cells.
bigsleep, Aug 10 2019
  

       //Every morning when meditating, I thank the original yogis for their devotion and commitment to passing down the ancient ways.//   

       Call me a cynic, but my guess is that most of these ancient ways were invented in the 60's.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 10 2019
  

       No, no-no. That is just when the Western World discovered their benefits. That's like saying The Bible is only a few hundred years old or something. You negative Nancy!!!
blissmiss, Aug 11 2019
  

       Hmm. Well, a bit of a Google suggests you may be right, [bliss]. But I'm pretty sure the Pebble Marketing Board had a hand in the whole pebble therapy thing.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 11 2019
  

       The discussion about the pebble industry and wrongdoings of "big pebble" aside,   

       I'm thinking another incarnation of this might be to have the first day of every month be dedicated to an animal or organism on the tree of life that we all call grandma and grandpa. I'll let Max name one month's ancestors so he stops complaining. That or a public vote for the name can be enacted but I'll start the naming by each month's animal thusly: May is "Eutheriay McEutheriaface" and let the public vote for that or something else since I'm pretty sure this is what they'd come up with on their own.   

       The issue is, should the 12 months be the same scale of the timeline of the evolutionary tree? I'll do some searching but I believe most of the year would be dedicated to one cell organisms. The more likely layout would be each month dedicated to some notable evolutionary step that was taken.   

       Might need to make this another idea then actually enact it by sending it out to educators, charging for the materials, "Happy Euarchonta Day!" cards and such and getting big government grants to fund this because the taxpayers need to start supporting me because it's time for them to start paying their fair share.
doctorremulac3, Aug 11 2019
  

       I get it now...you mean REALLY ancient ancients.
blissmiss, Aug 11 2019
  

       Oh yea. Tens to hundreds of millions of years ago.
doctorremulac3, Aug 11 2019
  


 

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