h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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There you are, sitting in what passes for a saloon in this god forsaken town. The bourbon is easy on the throat and Trixie is easy on the eye -- well, truth be told, she's getting easier on the eye -- but can you relax?
No, because any second now some scum sucking no good horse thieving sonofabitch
can untie Silver, jump in the saddle and off he goes.
Introducing our line of protected saddles. Using a variety of modern techniques, including pins, voice, thumb or even face recognition, and perhaps that most reliable method, ass recognition, we will make sure that the horse you rode in to town will be the horse you ride out of town
(?) Ass Recognition
http://shopping.net....5/category.2006/.f
Scientific gluteal morphology for equine comfort [csea, Mar 22 2005]
(?) Ass Recognition and ARR [ Active Rustler Repellent ]
http://us.ent4.yimg..._chan/shangnoon.jpg
[normzone, Mar 22 2005]
(?) Saddle Club
http://www.abc.net..../saddle/default.htm
[normzone, Mar 22 2005]
asshole recognition
https://www.vice.co...EzZN9sctKFvg827q4r4
[theircompetitor, Jan 03 2021]
Buttock-recognition Cameras
Buttock-recognition_20Cameras
[hippo, Jan 03 2021]
Butt recognition
https://gizmodo.com...dentific-1708243593
[hippo, Jan 03 2021]
[link]
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pins in the saddle, eh? painful. I like this... |
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Bun you...and the horse you rode in on. |
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Big problem in the Amish communities.. |
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I think that seat recognition is called for here. And not just the size and shape, but how the balance is handled. This saddles going to have a ton of memory and processing capability. |
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Clever. Invent THE CLUB for saddles and you'll be making a pretty penny. + |
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"You see, I travel a lot, so I use rental horses. A couple of hours in the saloon, and I can’t for the life of me remember which horse was mine. So it was an honest mistake. No need to be putting that thing around my neck. Really, Sheriff, I hate having ANYTHING around my neck. Okay, I’m going to scream. I really will..." |
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I find a horse's ass works best in this situation. Instead of a u-haul, I pull a donkey on my travels. When I'm in the bar, havin' my jar filled up to yar, they look out for each other by placing both rear feet in line with a would-be rustler's jaw line. Only connect. |
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In the unlikely event you're actually rustled of your horse, its saddlelo-jack instantly publishes a picture and description to every fax and email within 50 miles. |
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They was carryin' their flour 'n coffee in Wells Fargo bags so I figure they must 've buried the loot somewhere along the trail. |
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Thought this idea was an alarm clock that featured a Buckaroo type horse that flings off its miniature rider and saddle etc first thing in the morning with a resounding clatter of noises. |
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