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Human Breeding Season

  (+15, -11)
(+15, -11)
  [vote for,

It strikes me that human affairs and society would be far better regulated were we to have a shortish breeding season, perhaps a fortnight or so, during which all sexual activity would take place, leaving us unburdened with lustful impulses for the rest of the year.

The season would probably be best situated during the warm summer months, and would be an orgiastic carnival of unbridled copulation. Births would then take place around Easter, a time traditionally associated with rebirth and fertility.

Of course, shagging fortnight would be an international holiday, and, clearly, driving would have to be banned for the duration, for reasons of public safety.

Mickey the Fish, Sep 01 2000

Human Hibernation http://www.halfbake...Human_20Hibernation
I feel these ideas should be combined. [Aristotle, Sep 01 2000, last modified Oct 17 2004]


       A whole fortnight? Wow! Twice as much sex as usual!
DrBob, Sep 01 2000

       I was always fascinated with the Vulcan cultural adaptation in Star Trek, where seven years of sterile logic was interupted by a brief stretch of priaptic madness. I always thought it was quite observent of Gene Rodenberry to include this element in all of his characters (supporting, "sacrificial" characters are often observed "making time" before they are dispatched to further the plot), and not to spare the Vulcans. Your difficulty would be in grasping the dynamics of the female mind, a subject which has eluded philosophers, and defied logic throughout the ages.
Scott_D, Sep 01 2000

       Mixed appeal from the female POV; it would be nice to only ovulate once a year, but it would take more reworking of the innards for the Fortnight of Lust not to be followed, far too often, by the Month of Cystitis. If both these details are taken care of, sure.
hello_c, Sep 02 2000

       But the retailers would be absolutely stuffed. Birthday presents at Easter only, with nothing the rest of the year until christmas.
Alcin, Sep 02 2000

       So would April or May be the "Month of PMT"?

[Alcin] It wouldn't be that bad for retailers. I'm sure people would give presents during the "Beginning of Shagging fortnight" celebrations too.
hippo, Sep 05 2000

       Who wants human affairs to be better regulated? Not me. I prefer doing it all year 'round, thank you.
mrthingy, Sep 05 2000, last modified Sep 06 2000

       Peter: Elks have a breeding season 'cos they have evolved. Dolphins' ancestors were landlubbers, evolved from fish. They kept on evolving and now live in the sea again.   

       I do use eggs... delicious.
Mickey the Fish, Sep 06 2000

       Aldous Huxley's _Ape and Essence_ contains this very thing. It may even be a fortnight, come to think of it.
Monkfish, Dec 04 2000

       It seems as if no "Males" have had any issues with your idea. There is no way humanly possible we could go all year round with only 14 days of sex. They would lock me up the day the law was implemented. You just think crime is bad now! Unless your idea is just for safe sex year round?
Johnsoe2, Dec 20 2000

       Read more carefully, Johnsoe2; the idea is to only have the "lustful impulses" two weeks a year, leaving one's attention for other things elsewhen.
hello_c, Dec 20 2000

       But women will have to buy their own drinks the other 50 weeks of the year. They won't like that. Men, on the other hand will save fortunes. The flower business will wilt. Obstetricians and their ilk will be relegated to seasonal work. Restaurants will fold, thereby putting countless waiters and waitresses along with cooks out of work. Valet Parking attendents will also feel the pinch. Commercials on TV will not use sexual imagery, which will eliminate the need for actresses. I could go on and on. It would cause a worldwide Depression.
thumbwax, Dec 20 2000

       an annual two week orgy? fair enough
panthaz paradise, Apr 02 2001

       If we could adust human seasonal cycles like that you could add an optional hibernation period so people could take a break in places with harsh winters. That way people could wake up in the spring, just in time to get ready for the breeding season.
Aristotle, Apr 03 2001

       hellooo there, what's your sign? oh? mine too......
procrastinator, Apr 11 2001

       Most correspondents here seem to mistake 'breeding' with 'sexual intercourse'. Breeding is don only with the expectation of pregnancy which leads to birth of a new-born person. Sex is great fun. It's very different from breeding.
gz, Apr 21 2001

       A human breeding season would kick A$$. Then I would get laid for sure.
HighSchoolMan, Sep 13 2001

       Rods- Apparently, for HSM, it would be called "every day life."
AfroAssault, Sep 14 2001

       HSM: An actual season for breeding is no guarantee for getting laid. All it means is that for two weeks out of the year, men and women concentrate on reproducing. Casual sex isn't neccessarily part of the deal, just a perk.   

       Besides, if a breeding season were to be instituted they would most likely be discriminate by age.
moonsprite, Sep 28 2001

       In one episode of The Simpsons, after Mensa ends up administrating Springfield, Comic Book Guy declares a very small window each year for procreation in order to lower the average of people getting laid compared to him.
mrkillboy, Sep 28 2001

       Kinda creepy if you ask me..Besides...what are you supposed to tell little tommy when he gets out of kindergarten for 2 weeks? I mean...you can't just go and tell him it's "human breeding season". :B...Also...do you plan on mailing sleeping pills ot homes with children? e.e...can't just go making all that noise at night and keep him up all night. One more thing, what exactly would be the laws in this? or does everyone breed? that would irk me. >o Human breeding season.....jeez..e.e; Where do you people get these confounded ideas?
corybanticcherry, Oct 27 2001

       I'd go broke every spring buying birthday presents.
waugsqueke, Jan 12 2002

       Wow. What an idea.
Seer Chin, Aug 28 2002

       Would women thus have an annual menstrual period, or rather, "menstrual season?" If so, how would it be observed?
snarfyguy, Mar 01 2003

       You've got my vote. Oops. I guess people don't vote in monarchies.
snarfyguy, Mar 02 2003

       What would be even better, is two seperate breeding seasons, depending on the last number of a Social Security Number (single people) or Marriage License. Summer for even, winter for odd.
Weirdo55, Oct 18 2005

       [hippo] Not to mention the cigarette sales at the end of the fortnight...
albtrssp, Oct 19 2005

       Why not license people to breed?
travbm, Oct 29 2015

       But late now, [trav].
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 29 2015


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