Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Instant Male Orgasm

a small discharge of non-toxic fluid that can be release upon demand
  (+2, -18)(+2, -18)(+2, -18)
(+2, -18)
  [vote for,

Despite the conventional wisdom, sometimes we men are "not in the mood." Yet, some women are insatiable. Nothing, however, takes the zing out of a woman's sex drive like the knowledge that her man is already finished and unlikely to perform again for some time. Though the discharge may appear to be premature, it nonetheless signals that the night of touchie-feely fun has come to an abrupt end. A good night's sleep is all that remains.

The device may be hidden underneath the scrotum or within a condom . . . or merely in ketchup-like squeeze packets located in a night-stand drawer. The best deliver method has yet to be adequately investigated.

ofersh, Aug 01 2000

(??) Instant Female Orgasm http://www.globalid.../crespec/CS-27.HTML
This might solve your problem with out resorting to deception. [Scott_D, Aug 01 2000, last modified Oct 17 2004]


       I'm pretty sure this is already baked, for "film" purposes. Besides, I don't think it would achieve the desired result.
bookworm, Aug 01 2000

       Your Uncle Nutsy (pun not intended) understands that the desired result can be achieved by wearing a condom and a little acting skill. It seems few women are able to catch- or even to expect- men faking something like that, or are interested in checking the condom for "proof" afterwards. Just be sure to wrap the condom securely in toilet paper before throwing it away. For, um, safety's sake.
Uncle Nutsy, Aug 01 2000

       How long does it take you to have an orgasm anyway? If you're not trying to hold back, that is. It seems that it wouldn't be worth the price just to save like a minute or so.
VeXaR, Dec 15 2000

       ....."I don't want no minute maa-aa-an." No, I don't like rap, but that line seemed appropriate for the topic. wh00p.
corybanticcherry, Oct 27 2001

       Uh huh... cock rings... you know, I wouldn't feel a bit comfortable putting shit like that on, or even a fucking cock cage for that matter. Hell, I don't like using condoms, but sometimes that's my only choice. Sheesh... cock rings? Where do people come up with this shit, and what were you doing looking for it, [larch]???
Salty Ham, Jan 12 2002

       I remember an old sketch on either naked video or a rikki fulton special where a husband and wife were fumbling around under the covers and the wife pulled back the covers to find her man with a carton of double cream and a bicycle pump...   

Salmon Of Doubt, Oct 31 2005

       the ketchup packet idea is scary, especially if you get them mixed up in your lunch and put some on your fries at work "you ok mister?"
Arcanus, Jan 27 2010

       A little bit of soap and lotion and let her do the stroking.
travbm, Oct 29 2015


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle