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Human Toothpaste Tube Toilet

Squeeze squatting people to aid bowel movements
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Two of the problems for using a sit-down toilet for number twos are the angle of sitting and the difficulty of raising intra-abdominal pressure.

The first is more specifically that if you sit on the toilet, your rectum will tend to assume an inefficient angle for bowel movements and it becomes difficult to void it. This is resolved by squatting or using a foot rest, which works fairly well.

The second, however, is more complex. I won't go into too much detail but clearly some people get into difficulties.

My solution is to use some kind of vertical squeezing frame over the bowl. On answering the call of nature, you climb into a contraption which folds the knee-bent legs upwards while holding the torso vertically, then gently but firmly compresses the abdomen in a sweeping downward movement, thereby extruding the bowel contents nicely through a wide opening into the water below. Like a toothpaste tube in other words. It then spray-cleans your anus and dries it in a blast of warm air before releasing you.

My only question is this: would it also extrude your haemorrhoids?

nineteenthly, Jun 16 2017

Wall Of Death toilet Wall_20Of_20Death_20toilet
Prior Art [8th of 7, Jun 16 2017]

Boing Loo http://www.halfbake...om/idea/Boing_20Loo
Prior Prior Art [nineteenthly, Jun 16 2017]


       You do know that intestines don't go in a straight line from your stomach to your arsehold, [9thly]?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 16 2017

       There's a veterinary pharmaceutical that stimulates intenstine muscles to keep stuff moving along; dosage is a bit of an artform as it easily shifts between "still clogged" and "firehose".
FlyingToaster, Jun 16 2017

       // arsehold //   

       Sp. "arsehole", "Jean-Claude Junker", etc.   

       // intestines don't go in a straight line from your stomach to your arsehold //   

       <screws up latest design sketch, throws at wastepaper basket>   

       Picric acid, probably. Spectacularly effective, in the most literal sense. Stand well back; personal protective equipment is highly recommended.
8th of 7, Jun 16 2017

       Stimulating laxatives generally do that.
nineteenthly, Jun 17 2017

       //My only question is this: would it also extrude your haemorrhoids?//   

       My only question is this: where else did you think the toothpaste stripes would come from?
pertinax, Jun 17 2017

       ^ Straight to the top of the list of "Annotations we wish we had never read".
8th of 7, Jun 17 2017

       Just seen your anno, [MB], yes it's just for the last bit.
nineteenthly, Jun 17 2017


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