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I Can't Believe It's Not An Anti-Covid-19 Vaccine

repackage bleach in giant syringes
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Now that we are told the cure for Covid-19 is a simple injection of household bleach (source Stable Genius), the makers of these products should repackage them to reflect on their new found use.

I propose that this repackaging should take the form of pint, litre or even gallon sized syringes. On depressing the plunger, these would enable a fine jet of bleach to be directed into the smallest of locations to ensure total sterilisations.

• note - The makers accept no responsibility for the results of anyone replacing the blunt needle nozzle with one that can actually penetrate the user's skin and deliver the entire contents in the form of a single massive injection. All claims will be redirected to the office of the stable genius.

xenzag, Apr 25 2020

10 Tips for Americans Driving in Wales https://www.musings...s-driving-in-wales/
[Voice, Apr 28 2020]

Horray! Only in America. https://www.newswee...coronavirus-1500796
Both were reported to have mental illnesses, conditions which may now have been helped along. [whatrock, Apr 29 2020]


       Act now and we'll send you a free UV light probe as a thank you gift!
RayfordSteele, Apr 25 2020

       Brilliant - combined with salt-water gargling, and some magnetic bracelets to stop nausea, and the problem is completely solved.   

       And putting half a potato in your neighbour's coalscuttle will cure your arthritis.   

       What could possibly go wrong ?   

       What was all the fuss about, anyway ?   

       <Gratuitous and unnecessary pedantry>   

       An "Anti-Covid-19 Vaccine" would be a compound formulated to provoke an antagonistic immunological reaction to a Covid-19 vaccine. Thus, if a patient had been immunised against Covid-19 (if such a thing were possible, which it isn't) then an " Anti-Covid-19 Vaccine" would destroy that immunity, leaving them unprotected.   

       It could theoretically destroy the immunity of a patient who has experienced Covid-19 and recovered, leaving them open to re-infection by the same strain.   

       Apart from funeral directors, pharma companies*, and Mengele-like psychopathic doctors**, it is not apparent what benefit this would confer to the general population   

       </Gratuitous and unnecessary pedantry>   

       *Who will sell anything to anyone if they can make a dollar on the deal.   

       **non-Mengele-like psychopathic doctors presumably exist, but appear to be less common than Bigfoot. Sighting reports are rare, fragmentary, and unconvincing. One useful working definition of a doctor seems to be "Someone who has turned Munchausen's-by-proxy into a well-paying career".
8th of 7, Apr 25 2020

       I'm so embarrassed I live in this country, sometimes.
blissmiss, Apr 25 2020

       //source Stable Genius//   

       source Honest Media
Voice, Apr 25 2020

       Why, is there any other sort ? Who knew, huh ?   

       // embarrassed //   

       S'OK, [bliss]. Remember, we're laughing at you, not with you.   

       Can we interest you in any of our extensive range of Magic Holy Bleach-dipped Healing Stones with Holes in them ? Reasonable prices for regular customers, free shipping and handling on larger orders. —
8th of 7, Apr 25 2020

       //Magic Holy Bleach-dipped Healing Stones with Holes in them// Aren't these called chickens in the stable genius' land?
xenzag, Apr 25 2020

       <Quiet applause for gramatically correct use of the hanging apostrophe/>   

       Same building, different production line and packaging. Same process, equipment, chemicals. The cost savings and the retail margins are truly fabulous.   

       We're about to start offering a service that will convert any domestic swimming pool into a bleach dip-tank. Are you interested ?   

       We consider The Don should be awarded a Nobel Prize. After all, the people who chose to ingest cleaning products wil be, on average, credulous and/or stupid. Intelligent and/or thoughtful people will not do so.   

       This process neatly eliminates the credulous and/or stupid from the population (hopefully). Explain why this is a bad thing, please.   

       To quote; "I'm not advocating that we should criminalize stupidity. I'm just suggesting that we could try taking down all the warning signs and then see what happens."
8th of 7, Apr 25 2020

       I had been telling my family members that Covid-19's main vector of infection was stupidity. However, after seeing some of the neurology results, and also witnessing some of the things done by recently-infected people which are not only stupid, but wildly out of character for those people, I'm starting to wonder if this disease may actually have a toxoplasmosis-like behavior-modifying aspect.   

       I dread the thought of "herd immunity" if it comes at a cost of an average of 25 IQ points. Driving is bad enough already.
lurch, Apr 28 2020

       In geographies where the median IQ is no more than 23 to begin with, that's going to play out very badly.
8th of 7, Apr 28 2020

       <Cue "Muppet Show" Theme/>   

       Actually, the Muppets would probably do a better job. At least they're professionals. Not very competent ones by all appearances, but at least professionals.
8th of 7, Apr 28 2020

       Around here, the vector has been more like being in the wrong field in the wrong place at the wrong time.
RayfordSteele, Apr 28 2020

       It is, fundamentally, mostly luck. The genetic makeup of the individual, the previous exposure of their immune system, plus their overall state of health, all factor in. It's not deterministic.   

       In order to become seriously ill, the cards have to fall very badly for you.
8th of 7, Apr 28 2020

       the stats on the disease are super weird. Wonder if someone had done a cross-correlation study on herpes, or some other widely spread STD. It's just too strange how varied outcomes are
theircompetitor, Apr 28 2020

       It's certainly got the researchers scratching their heads, and very possibly other bits of their anatomy too.   

       As [Ray] correctly pointed out in another thread, "Biology is still subject to physics." ... and chemistry.   

       But the way some researchers are writing at the moment, they sound like they almost give credence to some really "fringe" concepts verging on pseudoscience. It's unprofessional, unhelpful, not big, and not clever.   

       The biggest problem seems to be a paucity of good quality data in some (not all) areas, because the fragmentary information available to date gives a distorted view.   

       Those other infections have been intensively studied for decades. Coronaviruses have been a bit of a Cinderella field up to now. Suddenly they're important but the long term data is limited.   

       It's a bit like Pearl Harbor; most people hadn't taken the threat sufficiently seriously to do enough to mitigate it. When it happened, shock, panic, anger.   

       None of those are actually helpful.
8th of 7, Apr 28 2020


       //I dread the thought of "herd immunity" if it comes at a cost of an average of 25 IQ points.//   

       Something that says "herd" and refers to humans gives me nightmares. It just can't be a good thing. I ain't no damn cow.
blissmiss, Apr 28 2020

       I think the term "herd immunity" only came about because some mistook the name and thought it was cowronavirus.
xenzag, Apr 28 2020

blissmiss, Apr 28 2020

       What ? Wait, you can get it from cows now ?   

       <Scribbles "bovines" on list under chiroptera, mustillids, primates and felids./>
8th of 7, Apr 28 2020

       It's next in a long line.... Swine flu, Bird flu, Cowronavirus.... KFC (from Kangaroos) The list is endless.
xenzag, Apr 28 2020

       // KFC (from Kangaroos) //   

       People will be hopping mad if they catch that...
8th of 7, Apr 28 2020

       I knew you would get that one. How about the one you can get from sheep?
xenzag, Apr 28 2020

       Oh, there's a whole flock of those, some of them baaaarely believeable ....
8th of 7, Apr 28 2020

       Do you know that young sheep are called hoggets? I thought you should know that.
xenzag, Apr 28 2020

       Yes, we knew that, thankyou. Besides, sheep puns are shear bad taste...
8th of 7, Apr 28 2020

       But ewe can always ram one through, wether it plays well with the flock or no
lurch, Apr 28 2020

       BZZZZZZT Repetition.   

       We already used "flock". One point to us.   


       Shame on you.   

       The use of "wether" was neat, though.
8th of 7, Apr 28 2020

       //BZZZZZZT Repetition//
<sees who posted that>
lurch, Apr 29 2020

       Oooh, that's a nasty bruise you've got on your forehead ... any idea what's caused it ?   

       Now, we have the subject .. how many seconds do we have left ?
8th of 7, Apr 29 2020

       The Two Key Factors to How Quickly a Virus Spreads in any Particular Country are:   

       A) The density of the population   

       B) The density of the population
AusCan531, May 02 2020

       Thanks for clarifying that so succinctly, it's one of those complex, counter-intuitive and highly technical things that a lot of media consumers really struggle with...
8th of 7, May 02 2020

       I think Domestos should take advantage of this Trump endorsement of using bleach as a vaccine, by adopting the slogan "Tremendous Domestos".
xenzag, May 02 2020

       Nice rhyming slogan, but to catch my interest I’m looking for something along the lines of “Removes Orange Stains”.
AusCan531, May 02 2020

       //density// - quite curious that one of those is by area, and the other by volume
lurch, May 04 2020

       [AusCan], that up there was downright funnsy.
blissmiss, May 04 2020


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