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I've Been Dead Since...

Don't waste CPR on a corpse.
  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
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Although postmortem lividity starts about 20 minutes after death, it can also take up to 3 hours. This lividity is a cue that CPR would not be effective and the person has succumbed and is beyond resuscitation.

Without knowing an exact time of death, emergency room personnel may waste time pumping on a corpse between the onset of brain death and lividity.

With the I've Been Dead Since...® device, now they will know the exact time you died. A simple device that operates much like a Dead-man's switch, with a back-up device that reads the pulse during sleep.

When released at the moment of death or cessation of heartbeat, it starts a timer which lets first responders know exactly when you crumped...

bought the farm...

croaked...

went to the happy hunting ground...

used up your lifetime guarantee...

Klaatu, Nov 28 2011

Lividity https://www.google....AQ&biw=1075&bih=533
**Not suitable to view after eating** [Klaatu, Nov 28 2011]

somewhat relevant joke http://en.wikipedia...rld's_funniest_joke
relevant because includes the phrase "let's make sure he's dead" [Vernon, Nov 28 2011]

I_20am_20NOT_2fW_20Dead [hippo, Nov 28 2011]

_27how_20to_20tell_...0you_27re_20dead_27 [hippo, Nov 28 2011]

Am_20I_20Dead_20or_20Not_3f [hippo, Nov 28 2011]

[link]






       I like the concept, but don't get how it works. The back-up pulse-at-night part works, but what are we doing during the day, pushing in a plunger every few minutes?   

       And what does the daytime system do that distinguishes between unconsciousness and death?   

       I'd like a "black box recorder" that records pulse and gives a wireless feedback to the medics, AND that fires off a siren and a red LED timer when the pulse stops. [ ]
baconbrain, Nov 28 2011
  

       This could easily be rolled into many other ideas for medical beacons that call 911 if _______ medical condition occurs. What if timer said 1 hour but the victim was still revivable? It's been known to happen.
DIYMatt, Nov 28 2011
  

       //but what are we doing during the day, pushing in a plunger every few minutes?//   

       I was thinking of a chest strap that would reset with each breath. No breath? No reset.   

       //What if timer said 1 hour but the victim was still revivable? It's been known to happen.//   

       After pumping on corpses for 10 years, I never, ever had one come back to life with a downtime of 1 hour. Cold- water rescues being the exception. But, this idea would be for old farts (like myself), living alone who are discovered dead in our home.
Klaatu, Nov 28 2011
  

       And that was the point I was just getting to - many are cold but few are frozen. I think this comes into the field of triage (personnel may waste time pumping on a corpse). If you've someone else who needs you, yes, you're wasting your time. But if not, think of it as good exercise.   

       My, that's a link worth not eating before viewing. Fortunately, I've been sufficiently anethsitized (sp?)   

       Some work has been done in this field by freedivers, developing a vest that monitors your activity, and if you fall prey to shallow water blackout it pops and floats you with appropriate bells and whistles.
normzone, Nov 28 2011
  

       Sweet! You could make it look like a turkey timer where the little red button pops out. "...Yep, this guy is done..." [+]
Grogster, Nov 28 2011
  

       I'd never heard the term "crumped" before I met you... or since until now.   

       I think about those trips and our ramblings quite a bit.
Crumped or not, we'll road-trip again, you just wait and see. (+)
  

       // I was thinking of a chest strap that would reset with each breath. //   

       That's better. But I understand that a lot of people breathe in and out by moving their lower abdomen (tummy) rather than chest expansion. Which may be even more the case with a malfunctioning person.
baconbrain, Nov 28 2011
  

       //But I understand that a lot of people breathe in and out by moving their lower abdomen (tummy) rather than chest expansion.//   

       Then obviously, we won't be doing CPR on a breathing, living person. Even people who have Obesity Hypoventilation Syndrome (Pickwickian Syndrome) still have chest expansion with breathing. If someone's tidal volume is so low that their chest isn't moving, they are probably a candidate for CPR, or at the very least, intubation.
Klaatu, Nov 28 2011
  
      
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