Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Quis custodiet the custard?

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Incontinence Loaf

avoid prying eyes at your local supermarket
  (+33, -3)(+33, -3)(+33, -3)
(+33, -3)
  [vote for,

The incontinence loaf is an absorbent adult diaper shaped and packaged to appear to be a loaf of bread. In the privacy of your own home, simply remove the packaging and cut off a slice to the desired thickness depending on your daily requirements.

Insert in underwear and go about your business clean, dry and odour free without anyone the wiser. For those with dementia, try a real loaf of bread for similar results.

benfrost, Oct 10 2004

Depends http://shop.store.y...e/depunbycasgr.html
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 11 2004]


       I ryely love it: +
vigilante, Oct 10 2004

       Aww, I hit the [+] button. I was expecting something COMPLETELY different.
Letsbuildafort, Oct 10 2004

       is there a multi-gran option?
neilp, Oct 10 2004

       Ooh, this high-fibre loaf chafes.
hippo, Oct 10 2004

       Obligatory "Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespisses" reference.
friendlyfire, Oct 10 2004

       "Whatever you do, DON'T eat the yellow loaf."
They should make more products like this. [+]
ghillie, Oct 11 2004

       Q. ?What does that bread taste like"?
A. "Depends".

       Aww, jeez, 2 fries. I'm never going to Subway again thanks to that anno ...
Letsbuildafort, Oct 11 2004

       <mental image of an aging Michael Jagger with a baguette stuffed down the front of his jeans...>   

ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 11 2004

       or Tom Jones...
po, Oct 11 2004

       ...aaaah, Tom would have the Vienna Loaf....
ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 11 2004

       Tofurniture, the CDRW omelette and now the Incontinence Loaf - I'm not coming round for dinner at yours.
wagster, Oct 11 2004

       A genuine sense of foreboding accompanied the clicking of this idea's name. I like it but where would this bread be in the supermarket?

To place it in the bakery would be to court disaster, as simple-minded consumers would discover the high fibre delights of adult nappy slices in record numbers. But if you put it with the hygiene/medical stuff, the deception is blown at the crucial "acquisition" phase. Truly 'tis a pickle! Or a sanitary absorbent shaped like bread. Or something.
DocBrown, Oct 11 2004

       If the bakery was adjacent to the pharmacy no one could tell if you just happened to wander around the corner carrying a loaf.   

       But then that fresh bread smell they waft from the vents in the bakery would get all mixed up with the pharmaceuticals and you'd find yourself thinking things like:
"Mmmm...I could really go for a nicy crusty toothpaste sandwich right now."
DocBrown, Oct 11 2004

       //just happened to wander around the corner carrying a loaf.// Thanks, 2 fries. I think you meant this as a more or less serious defense, but in the context of this discussion, it made me laugh out loud!
Ichthus, Oct 11 2004

       is that a crusty roll in your pocket or...
po, Oct 11 2004

       //Q. What does that bread taste like"? A. "Depends".//   

       [2 fries], you made me laugh out loud in an otherwise depressing morning. Thanks!   

       Now, the only inconvenience I find for this product is that people really wanting to buy bread mistake the incontinence loaf for a baguette... and when they get home hungry the loaf will just make them "piss off".   

       If it looks just like a regular load of bread, how would you prevent this from happening?
Pericles, Oct 11 2004

       I can't believe I'm getting croissants for this idea. Theyr'e going straight to the front of my trousers.
benfrost, Oct 12 2004

       MMmmm... like a French stick [ben] ?
skinflaps, Oct 12 2004

       oui oui! (wee wee)
benfrost, Oct 12 2004

       How would you get the slices to stay in place? Would there be any way of adding wings?
nimchimpsky, May 30 2005

       Mmm. "Eau de Toast" would be nice.
reensure, May 30 2005

       Thanks [benfrost] & everyone else for the laughs. I really needed that. Haaa!.+
Zimmy, May 31 2005


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