Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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how to go descretely in public!
  (+1, -4)
(+1, -4)
  [vote for,

Ever needed to go REALLY badly in a strange city and not been able to find somewhere to release the pressure? Well you need to struggle and whine no longer while friends and collegues makes sounds of the ocean and a dripping tap, i introduce P-P-Pants! (pronounced Pee-Pee-Pants). The basic design is a condom shaped attachment for your One eyed trouser snake, which remains in place with a comfortable but firm skin adhesive. This retainer connects to a plastic tube, which spilts into two: One goes down the right leg as a tube and is sown into the lining of concealing yet fashoinable trousers; and the other into a long, wide but thin plastic bag for urine storage. The valve to change between these two destinations is located near your wife's best friend, and is easily accessible from your pocket. The point, my friends, of this incredible invention is that all one needs now is a drain at the side of the street to descretely but satisfactorily relieve oneself, and not even that, as the bag in the left leg is unbreakable, unless deliberate force is appled with a sharp impliment. Questions and complaints will be heard and ignored at raymondomanningo@hotmail.com.
MoNd!, Aug 16 2002

Stadium Pal http://www.stadiumpal.com
Drink all you want before the game starts! [Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002]

Conveen System http://www.coloplas...582861?OpenDocument
This is a condom with a tube which goes in to a catheter bag. For 2 years every morning I would have to fit one of these to a stroke victim who was in his 90s. It got to the point after a few weeks he would be laying on his bed,naked and waiting for me [sufc]

continence for women http://www.continen...list-products.php#e [sufc, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

continence for women http://www.continen...list-products.php#e
[sufc, Oct 04 2004]


       Your incredible invention was invented a few years ago, and is marketed under the name "Stadium Pal". [link]
Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002

       Yeah, for people who enjoy pissing in their pants.
croyd, Nov 27 2002

       Hey, now we will all be able to get, leg lifting revenge on the neighbor’s dog.   

       also known as a "male external catheter", often used by competetive glider pilots, who must stay aloft for many hours on end, with nowhere to relieve themselves. Except for the "sewn into the trousers" part, this is completely baked.
Freefall, Apr 22 2003

       Spike Milligoon told the story of using a pedel bike innertube in one of his war biogs.
sufc, Apr 22 2003

       Why don't glider pilots just open a panel in the floor, and let 'er rip? Surely, they would be keen to dispose of the excess weight, and if they're high enough, most of it would evaporate before hitting the ground (when was the last time you were peed on by a bird?).
friendlyfire, Apr 23 2003

       I see your halfbakery handle in a whole new light now, [ff].
snarfyguy, Apr 23 2003

friendlyfire, Apr 23 2003

       Actually, glider pilots routinely carry quite a bit of ballast, in the form of water in the wings. This allows them to glide much faster, while maintaining the same glide ratio. It makes it harder to climb in thermals, but for glider races, you want to cross the finish line first. As for the panel in the floor, the MEC is often routed not to a collection bag, but through a tube sticking out the bottom of the plane. (fortunately, it evaporates long before it gets to the ground)
Freefall, Apr 23 2003

       what about for women? (this is not a critcism)
igirl, Apr 23 2003

       ah thank you sufc
igirl, Apr 24 2003

       Bag of Shite. See 2nd link
This is a bag with an opening which is cut to fit around the back passage or anus. A flange of flexible foam backed by skin barrier attaches to the skin around the anus. The bag can be emptied via the drainage outlet for liquid faeces, while a clamp can be used for more solid faeces. The advantages over a pad include containment of odour. The bag will, of course, contain deflatus (wind) as well as faeces. A faecal collector is unlikely to work well if the user is seated and there is a tendency for the bag to peel off the skin if the user is walking.
sufc, Apr 24 2003

       friendlyfire - the white stuff in bird droppings is the urine. The black stuff is the faeces.
dm01, Aug 22 2004

       Pretty lame idea but it reminded me of a Tom Green segment. He stood on a sidewalk with one of these, a large empty plastic bottle and one of juice. The plan was to find out how long the juice took to travel from one bottle to the other, via Tom.
stilgar, Aug 23 2004


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