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Inflatable Jesus life preserver

Something to offend many.
  (+7)
(+7)
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A flotation aid which, when activated, inflates into a life-size (or slightly larger) figure of Jesus.

Outspread arms (with hidden submerged "floats" at the hands and ankles) provide stability, so that the user can actually lie on top of the figure, clear of the water, like an airbed.

The "robe" is a thin, flexible opaque waterproof spraydeck to keep spray, excessive sunshine etc. off the user.

Crown of thorns and stigmata are only painted on to avoid compromising the pressure integrity of the device.

Versions to offend adherents of other religions are under development.

8th of 7, Oct 20 2020

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       That could be done with a conventional multi-occupant life raft with Jesus in the centre.   

       He would be a good thing for searchers to look out for; a pose like Rio's "Christ the Redeemer" would suit.
8th of 7, Oct 20 2020
  

       When you throw it in does it convert all the water to wine? [+] Finger hovers over awarding a second croissant. (I'm the only person on the hb who can do this by the way)
xenzag, Oct 20 2020
  

       //I'm the only person on the hb who can do this by the way// - two accounts?
hippo, Oct 20 2020
  

       The second question is this: Is there a "Hitler version" that instead of floating around, grips the person with locked arms, then takes them to the bottom as it rapidly sinks?
xenzag, Oct 20 2020
  

       //two accounts// ha - no. I’m just special.
xenzag, Oct 20 2020
  

       [+]   

       Would it come with biscuits and wine so people could enjoy "the body and the blood" before sharks appear and start enjoying their own version?
whatrock, Oct 20 2020
  

       That's an extra cost option at ordering time.
8th of 7, Oct 20 2020
  

       but... all the air would just leak out of his hands   

       <Points/> ^   

       // Crown of thorns and stigmata are only painted on to avoid compromising the pressure integrity of the device. //   

       You weren't paying attention, were you ? Were you ? Eh ?
8th of 7, Oct 20 2020
  

       Yes, but look on the bright side ...
8th of 7, Oct 20 2020
  

       Huh. Makes sense.
Colour me stigmatized.
  

       // Can we get a "Brian Saves" life raft? //   

       Of course.
8th of 7, Oct 20 2020
  

       //Can we get a "Brian Saves" life raft?//
As long as it whistles the tune as you deflate it...
neutrinos_shadow, Oct 20 2020
  

       Can we do one of Mohammed that has the inflator in a strategic location?
RayfordSteele, Oct 21 2020
  

       Why not slightly bigger? for the capacity to stand on the Redeemer and plead the why the forsaken action, to the all.
wjt, Oct 24 2020
  

       It's about a personalized experience of redemption...   

       // has the inflator in a strategic location? //   

       What, like the Fulda Gap, or the Khyber Pass or somewhere like that... ?
8th of 7, Oct 25 2020
  

       No, more like the inflatable Autopilot on 'Airplane.'
RayfordSteele, Oct 26 2020
  

       "Not my first time" life preserver.
reensure, Nov 02 2020
  


 

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