Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sweetcorn Lifejackets

Making use of nature's gifts.
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Everyone who's ever (inadvertantly or advertently) performed a study into how well sweetcorn floats will attest that it floats very well indeed. Why not manufacture lifejackets out of this God/Allah/Gaia/chance-given gift? No harmful chemicals need be used and the end product is fully biodegradable.

Each lifejacket comes with a hollowed-out carrot whistle and is guaranteed 100% shark repellant. Sharks hate sweetcorn.

calum, Jul 31 2002

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       That's plum arborful.
reensure, Aug 01 2002
  

       I like it. If you're marooned at sea for a long time before you're rescued, you can puncture the thing and have a snack.   

       "Yeah, the thing saved my life, but it would have been even better with butter and salt ..."
1percent, Aug 01 2002
  

       I'm imagining a jacket made of several cobs strung / tied together loosely, almost like those bead cushions for car seats...   

       Worn with a corncob pipe and a button nose...
polartomato, Aug 01 2002
  

       //Sharks hate sweetcorn// Croissant for this comment alone.   

       I dunno, I can imagine being stuck in the middle of the ocean encased in a sweetcorn jacket that is past its use- by date. Not a pretty thought.
madradish, Aug 01 2002
  

       Just make sure you take the sweetcorn out of the cans first.
pottedstu, Aug 01 2002
  

       What if you're hungry - you'd be tempted to eat the lifejacket keeping you alive, wouldn't you?
What a dilemma...
NickTheGreat, Aug 01 2002
  

       I'd eat *your* lifejacket. Whatever the hell it was made of.
angel, Aug 01 2002
  

       Although sharks may hate sweet corn, many of the little fishys like it quite a bit. It's a very good bait for many a pan fried delight. So while you may not get chomped on by the big one, you'll get nickle and dimed to death by the little ones.
dag, Aug 01 2002
  

       <off topic> Why is it that every time I give my children corn they poop it right back out. I changed a diaper last night and it looked like my daughter had stuck the corn kernals right in her diaper instead of eating it. Is it just me or has anyone else noticed this? </off topic>
barnzenen, Aug 01 2002
  

       I've noticed it. I noticed it just before posting this.
calum, Aug 01 2002
  

       I am Soooo Reeeaallly looking forward to having kids now. Thanks.
dag, Aug 01 2002
  

       Corny Diaper Syndrom - what a great name. I've noticed it happens with peanuts to an extent. Why would she hate me? I've noticed it and said something about it with all my children, no discrimintation here. Actually, my 3yr old carefully watched me change the CDS diaper last night and was excited when I showed my wife. He said it looked like corn on the cob. Come on [dag], it's not all just diapers and barf; sometimes you get to wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes you get sprinkled (won't tell you all the gory details - but it's happened more then once), sometimes you have to deal with bloody appendages. It's all fun and games.
barnzenen, Aug 01 2002
  

       Not many crows at sea, in my experience. Unless you speak of the dreaded South Seas Giant Sea Crow.
calum, Aug 01 2002
  

       show some respect for those crows. they shuffle their silks like the barristers of the field that they most certainly are. am I the only twitcher here?
po, Aug 01 2002
  

       Corn: WIWO (Way In, Way Out).   

       You know, if sharks ever learned to floss - watch out!
reensure, Aug 01 2002
  

       I'm afraid I can't support this idea [calum]. Aside from mayonaise, in the world of food sweetcorn is my mortal enemy. My nemesis. This idea would give sweetcorn another reason to be on this planet (apart from playing havoc with my digestive tract).
Jinbish, Aug 02 2002
  

       [blissmiss] - fraid not. We all have our cross to bear. I just happen to live in constant fear of sweetcorn (and nuts).   

       And I wear diapers.
Jinbish, Aug 02 2002
  
      
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