A half croissant on a plate with barely visible vampire teeth.  If you look closely, there are puncture marks on the 50c sign. Happy halloween!
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Kafka's Table Top of Pusillanimous Rejection

Table top that eventually rejects anything placed on it without exception or explanation
  (+19, -2)(+19, -2)
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All objects placed on Kafka's Table Top of Pusillanimous Rejection, will be conveyed inexorably to the edge and allowed to fall unto the floor.

I should explain.

The table top consists of a matrix of 100 x 50 mechanical flies each of which is lying on its back with its six tiny legs pointing up expectantly.

Anything placed on the surface of the table immediately stimulates the flies in direct contact to begin moving their legs in a co- ordinated action, that causes the object to be gradually carried to the edge, from where it falls off, leaving the table clear for the next recipient.

Only the legs of the flies touched by the object become active, the others remain at rest, this all being controlled by a processor hidden inside the table.

Some objects are allowed to stay for a while, but will inevitably still be rejected. For others, rejection is instantaneous. No explanations are discernable for this, hence the reference to the works of Franz Kafka.

Pathways to the edge may be torturous, with the offending object being lead on a merry dance over the surface, following a randomising algorithm, but the end result is always the same: a trip to the floor, to join all the other smashed and broken relics.

xenzag, Oct 15 2006

* Except this http://www.pic-corp...onsumer/flystik.htm
Please insert * at your leisure. [Ling, Oct 16 2006]

[link]






       Baked, stage diving. Oh wait, they use their legs here.
Shz, Oct 15 2006
  

       The cynic in me wonders if [xenzag] was merely framing a metaphor of the halfbakery.
jurist, Oct 15 2006
  

       Where's the [xenzag] illustration, [xen]? [+]
m_Al_com, Oct 15 2006
  

       Excellent!
calum, Oct 15 2006
  

       I'm working on it..... have numbered and named all the individual flies, just have to line them up properly.
xenzag, Oct 15 2006
  

       I both love it, and am slightly disturbed by it. Not enough buns.
zen_tom, Oct 15 2006
  

       This is rather good.   

       It was even better when I mis-read it and thought it said "...this being controlled by a professor hidden inside the table..."
Azazello, Oct 15 2006
  

       Somewhere on the table will be a fly with only five legs.
xenzag, Oct 15 2006
  

       I can't link to this site but type "cilia skin" into a search engine.   

       Similar, minus the Pusillanimousisness.   

       Kafka probably invented the safety hat after a misfortunate incident with a falling object from a table top. It was noted that the table resided in a large castle far away in
Ling, Oct 16 2006
  

       The flies are inscrutable and do not change. The references to Kafka are not concerned with Metamorphosis, but more about the lack of explanation or control prevalent in The Trial.
xenzag, Oct 16 2006
  

       +
xandram, Oct 16 2006
  

       This idea creeps the living hell out of me. So much so that I am almost about to bone it... but I won't becasue the marvelous mechanical legs will only usher it away.
Jinbish, Oct 18 2006
  

       Will this croissant land face up or face down?
imaginality, Oct 18 2006
  

       Why use flies, why not pigmy goats?
Chefboyrbored, Oct 18 2006
  

       The flies are mechanical, so the spider will eventually be thrown off no matter what it does, especially if it hangs around long enough and starves.
xenzag, Oct 18 2006
  

       You know, you could build a railing around the edge of the table and then lay on the flies and get a massage.
mmrtnt, Oct 18 2006
  

       The mechanical flies seem like an enormously difficult order. Why not just make the entire table vibrate?
ye_river_xiv, Oct 19 2006
  
      
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